Ice Freezes
by Ryoukko-kai
Summary: Winter is a paradox by nature. Ice can give a dying man water to drink, yet it can also freeze him to death. Ice kills all manner of plants, yet were it not for ice I would not exist. I guess if it it is a paradox, then I, the ice demon Touya, am too.
1. In Over My Head

Hi there. Maybe this is your first time reading my stories. If so, I'm glad you're willing to try. It means a lot to me. Maybe you've read my other stuff. If so, welcome back, everyone. Maybe you've even read the original version of this, Behind My Eyes. I hope this version is much better. I'm trying to steer clear of the angsty, whiny Touya and try to keep him timid, yet not complaining every three paragraphs. If you haven't read the first one, disregard everything I said in the past three sentences, okay? In fact, if you want to preserve your sanity, disregard _everything_ I say, okay? If you aren't afraid of getting mildly crazy (or if you're already there) then by all means keep reading. As for the title, it is courtesy of SwisArmyRomance. I knew that it would be the title the second I saw it. It strikes me as simple, yet sort of profound, if you think about it.

Now it's time for thank-yous, where I say nice things about people you've probably never heard of. Thanks to Ptolemy99, who is unafraid to tell me that parts of, or most of, my story/stories suck and need to be redone, as well as talking to me when I'm bored as hell. Thanks to ForgottenKaze, who convinces me to get off my lazy ass and write this, as well as being a wonderful reviewer. Thanks to SwisArmyRomance, who not only came up with the title but causes me to smile on a regular basis, even after reading a really depressing story. Thanks to Jins Lil Whirlwind for writing the stories that made me stop, look back, and realize what good characters Touya, Jin, Shishi, and the rest of the Youkai Six are. Thanks to SirenofSaturn for writing humor stories about the Youkai Six. Thanks to Shezka Foxe for giving me some great ideas and encouraging me in general. Thanks to black-lightning82 for being my first reviewer _ever_ and helping me with my writing. Thanks to Sora Sotara for also discussing Yu Yu Hakusho with me, and diligently reviewing every chapter. Thanks to everyone else who helped me with this in any way at all. And lastly, thanks to you for reading this.

Well, I ramble, so continue on to the actual story!

* * *

It was sweltering outside, with the sun blazing directly overhead. The small wooden and stone houses that were scattered in a disorganized way around the town had waves of heat coming off the roofs. Because of this, the usual crowd of merchants and buyers in the town square (which was square only in name) had thinned out to almost nothing. Still, several others my age and even younger children played despite the heat, staging mock battles or finding some way to get underfoot. I, too, was outside, although I was on an errand. 

I winced slightly at the thought of the sunburn I was sure to have come tomorrow. Due to my low toleration for heat, I was wearing a tank top, but I knew that I would get a nasty burn on my shoulders. My skin always had been too sensitive, so I usually kept indoors. It wasn't like I wanted to get whacked upside the head with a stick anyway. Maybe if I did spend more time outside then I would not burn so easily. Shrugging, I figured that I would probably only sit outside and read anyway.

I was too busy thinking about the weather to notice that a gang of the other kids was making their way towards me until one of them spoke up.

"Hey, girly, where are you going? Do you need someone to do your hair again?" the leader jeered.

I shook my head, trying to get my mint green bangs out of my eyes so that I could see a bit better. Actually, they only covered one eye, my left one; stubbornly, they refused to rest anywhere except there. Unlike everyone else's, mine stuck out diagonally in four distinct strips, rather like sage colored icicles. The rest of my hair was powder blue, and it brushed my shoulders in a style that was quite unusual for a boy my age. This did not bother me much. Personally, I liked having my hair that long, even if it did earn me quite a few insults. It was not like insults were anything new to me.

I had always been picked on. There were so many reasons: my long hair, my slanted eyes, my lack of sharp teeth or claws, my tendency to stay inside, my small body… The truth of it was, I just didn't fit in. Most demons were physically intimidating, with wings, claws, a tail, anything, really. Or if they weren't, then they had skill with a sword, or mastery over their aura. Unfortunately, I had neither. As far as size went, I topped off at five foot two and sixty pounds, and I had none of the other traits. For aura, I had no control over it. Although I could feel this energy contained inside of me, I couldn't use it. It was just…there…but it was useless to me!

"Come on, princess. Why won't you hang around with us? You too good for us common folk?"

I wanted nothing more than to hit him, but I knew that I was no match for the other. He was over a head taller than me and had muscles practically bursting out of his shirt. There was no way in the three worlds that I was a fighter. My build left much to be desired; I was small, thin, and had poor resilience to pain. Even though books spoke of the small ones being wiry fighters that were even stronger than the beefy ones, it was a lie. Although I had a clear intellectual advantage, I would surely lose. Most of my time had been spent indoors, reading, so I did not have the strength of the other, and my endurance was laughable. All that I would accomplish from hitting him was getting myself beaten up. Still, the thought was quite tempting.

I tried to ignore him, continuing on to the blacksmith's. My caretaker, Tal, needed to have a new set of nails made for our door. The old ones had rusted too much to be of use.

"Hey, I'm talking to you," the demon snarled, his reptilian tail swishing from side to side in anger. I gulped, turning to face him.

"Yes?" I asked, trying to keep the fear out of my voice. I was a naturally timid person, and I knew it. The only times I ever really got angry…well, actually, I couldn't remember. Sometimes I got frustrated, but never truly _angry_.

A malicious smirk spread across his face, and I stepped backwards, only to find that another of his group was right behind me. Glancing around, I could see that I was completely surrounded. Fear kicked in, and I looked for the largest gap in the circle. I found it a little to the left of one of the demons farthest from me. Bolting, I wormed my small body through the gap and made a break for it.

The others growled, dashing after me. I was no good at thinking clearly in a problematic situation, and I found myself panicking. Unable to remember whether left led to the town square or right, I blindly picked left. To my distress, I had chosen incorrectly; I was stuck in a dead end. There was nothing to help me out of this one.

I fearfully turned to face them, backing up until I was pressed up against a wall. Swallowing, I shut my eyes, tense and prepared for the blows that I knew would come.

His fist slammed into my side, and I doubled over. He pulled me forward, and I stumbled, falling to my knees. One of his group members came up behind me, pulling my arms behind my back and forcing me to my feet. I was now completely helpless.

My eyes were wide, fearful. The leader punched me in the gut a few times, before dealing a kick to my knee. Legs giving out under me, the only thing keeping me upright was the kid behind me. Chuckling, he dropped me to the ground and the gang left, looking for something else to do.

I hit the ground face first, all the air knocked out of me, and painfully turned my head to the side. My nose was bleeding, but I didn't really think much of it. Tal was probably expecting me back by now, and instead I was lying on my stomach in an alley. Not a particularly favorable situation.

I lay there for a second, trying to regain my breath. My side hurt abominably, but there was nothing I could do about it. Pulling myself to my feet, I felt dizzy and had a hard time standing. My left leg ached from that kick. Limping, I made my way down the street to the blacksmith's.

It took far longer than I would have liked, but I eventually made it inside the shop. Despite the heat outside, a roaring fire was in the corner, and I found myself sweating.

"Can I please have the nails Cotalyn ordered?" I asked, using my guardian's full name. Back when I was much younger, I had nicknamed him Tal because I couldn't pronounce his full name. The name had stuck.

"Sure thing," the gargoyle demon grunted, handing me a little bag full of iron nails.

"Thank you," I murmured, staring at my feet. It was a habit I had developed but couldn't shake. I was naturally shy.

Ten minutes later found me right outside Tal's house, and I tentatively pushed the door open. As always, I was nervous that Tal would be mad at me for being late, even if I couldn't help it.

"Not again," he sighed, looking at me. A small trickle of warm blood snaked down my face from a nosebleed and I had a clearly evident limp. He knew that I had taken far longer than necessary, and from the way I hung my head he could tell that I was afraid. Wordlessly, I handed him the bag and hobbled into my room, eyes fixed on the floor.

The second I shut my door I took a few steps then collapsed half on my bed. Burying my face in my arms, I softly cried, kneeling on the wooden floor because I simply didn't have the strength left to pull myself all the way onto the bed. My left knee still hurt.

"Why me?" I quietly asked myself. "Just because I'm a little different, everyone picks on me. I don't get it. I just don't get it."

I sniffled, wiping the blood and tears off of my face. It was practically routine for me. Tal tells me to get something. A group of kids corners me. I get beaten up. I limp to wherever I'm supposed to go. I pick up what Tal told me to. I walk home, nervous that Tal will be mad. I hand him whatever the thing is. I shuffle to my room. I throw myself down, crying. That was pretty much how things went for me, which explains why I prefer to stay safe and happy indoors.

"Are you okay?" Tal asked, opening my door.

"I suppose…" I replied, lifting my head from my arms.

"Are you sure you don't want me cracking a few skulls for you?"

"No, please don't. Sure, you'll knock a couple of them out, and they'll say they'll never do it again. The next time they see me, they're only going to hurt me even more. Remember last time?" I murmured.

The bat youkai sighed. He did indeed remember the last time he fought the kids for picking on me. Barely a day after that, they had broken my leg and I couldn't get back home. Tal had been worried sick and I had passed out. When I had woken up, I was in the healer's house, and the stinging sensation coming from the break was almost impossible to bear. Unable to help it, I thrashed like crazy, barely able to think coherently through the pain. Luckily enough, I expended so much energy that I knocked myself out again, and they could finish treating the wound.

"Yes…but I can't just stand by and let them hurt you. I know I can't keep you penned up indoors for your whole life. I just wish that someone could teach you how to fight, how to use that aura of yours," he confessed.

I hung my head. Wasn't that what I myself had wished? If I could use the energy that I could feel coursing in my veins, then I could defend myself.

"It's okay, little one," Tal soothed, wrapping a leathery brown wing around me. I snuggled closer to him, mindful of my bruises. "Why don't you take a nap?"

I nodded weakly, and he picked my light form off the ground and set me in bed. There was no need for him to pull up the covers; what with the temperature, I was already soaked with sweat, my white tank top clinging to my thin body.

I lay there, panting, for a minute or two. With heat like this, I felt sorely out of place. Granted, I had lived my entire life here, but thirty-one years (about ten or eleven in human years) cannot override tens of thousands of years that have shaped my genetics. Quite frankly, I was not meant to live here. A robin that lived its life by the sea does not become a seabird, and a…whatever kind I was… apparition that lived near Gandara does not become otherwise. This may have been the only home I've ever known, but I had this…feeling.

It was a dull sort of ache in my chest, one that felt different from my bruises. This feeling made me dream of snow-covered fields and lofty peaks, of fierce blizzards and frozen tundra. At times, it was so strong that I cried, having to muffle my sobs lest Tal hear and come see what was wrong. I wished I knew why I felt like seeing those places. Sure, snow was beautiful and it did have a calming effect on me, but why would that make me want to leave my home behind to see places like that? Truly, I didn't know.

Despite the heat, or perhaps because of it, I felt drowsy, tired. Yawning, I shut my eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

It was dark out when I woke up. That didn't bother me much; I was as comfortable at night as I was during the day. Actually, night was more soothing. Night made it cooler outside, for one. There was no one there to pick on me and it was quiet except for the whistling of flute birds, which sounded like the instrument they were named for, the crickets, and other species of nighttime animals. I liked night. 

My eyes automatically shifted, allowing me to see in infravision, an odd trait that I had. It wasn't like the infrared goggles that Yomi was said to have; instead of seeing in shades of red and orange and purple, I saw in normal colors, except a faint reddish glow hung around warmer things. Things with more heat were more vibrant, easier to see, while cold things were dull, sometimes not even perceptible. I had taken the lesson in the form of running headfirst into an ice-covered boulder and almost giving myself a concussion. After that, I made sure to note even the slightest shadow while using infravision.

I stepped into the front room, silently opening the door. There was no way I could fall back asleep. After napping for almost six hours, I was wide-awake. It was too dark to read, and the pages of books, even if warmed by my body heat, were incredibly hard to see by infravision; even if I could see in normal colors, it didn't make seeing letters any easier. My infravision was always much blurrier than my usual sight. Since I didn't have any candles to read by, that was out of the question. Therefore, I decided to take a walk.

Turning halfway around to shut the door, I saw that part of my skin was showing up as red through my shirt. Sunburn again…

Stretching, I limped down the street, heading for the edge of the forest. I always had loved climbing trees. There was something about sitting high above the ground, wind blowing around me that appealed to me.

Ahead of me, I could see someone on top of a building. I stopped, and then decided to take a few more steps to see who it was.

As I got closer, I realized that it was one of the other teenagers living here. Gulping, I stepped back a little, only to trip over something and fall over. Yelping in surprise, I hit the dirt. I was mostly on my back, yet partly on my side in a way that wasn't too uncomfortable. My right forearm was on the ground, keeping me propped up.

They whirled around, and I knew that they had seen me. I was in plain sight, even without infravision. The person carefully lowered himself – or was it herself? - to the ground, before walking in my direction. He was far too close for me to have time to run. Because of this, I did the only other thing I could think of: throw my left arm above me to ward off any blows and look away, eyes shut. Hearing his footsteps coming closer, I started to shake a little.

"What in the Makai are you doing?"

I tentatively opened a single eye, looking up at whoever this was.

To my surprise, he wasn't anyone that I knew. In fact, I had never even _seen_ this guy. He had long, indigo hair that was past his shoulders. It all clung to his head as though it had been slicked into place, except for his bangs. Two strands of blue completely defied gravity, standing straight up. His eyes were large, a bit too big for his head, in my opinion, and were soft lavender. The teenager had a rather beaklike nose, and despite his graceful stride he hopped slightly while walking, kind of like he was trying to skip, walk, and keep himself from doing the former all at once. Adding it all together, he looked rather like a young hawk.

"Well, are you going to say something?" he prodded.

"Um…hi?" I timidly tried.

"Heh…that's amusing. So, what exactly are you doing out here? A kid like you should be asleep," he scolded.

I arched in eyebrow, staring at him skeptically. Kid? I was about his age, I'd guess, so he had no right to call me that. Then again, that didn't stop others from making fun of me, but I didn't think he'd start mocking me this soon.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"I'm thirty-one. Please don't call me a 'kid'," I said, pulling myself to my feet.

"Sorry?"

His questioning tone was less than what I wanted from him, but more than I expected. After all, people rarely bothered to apologize to me.

"If you must know, I had fallen asleep earlier and am now wide awake. What about you?" I questioned.

"I just came back from being apprenticed to a swordsman for, what, _fifteen years_? So what if I want to see my old town at night again?"

"Fair enough. I don't remember you, though… I've lived here my whole life, and I'm sure I'd remember someone like you."

"Let me see if this rings a bell," he said, bringing his palm to his lips. He then ran his hand over his bangs, the saliva holding them down. The hawk-like youkai reached into his pocket, pulling out a band of cloth, which he used to tie his hair in a ponytail. His eyebrows rose considerably, leaving him with an expression of curiosity. Reaching to the dirt, since I had shuffled off the road in my fear, he scooped up a bit of dirt and smeared it under his eyes. All in all, he looked like a completely different person…one that I had seen many times in my earlier childhood.

"I remember you…not very much, but I do. You were the one who was always good at playing Skipstone," I murmured. That was before bullies targeted me, back when I had been just another person.

"Nice to hear that, Blue," he commented, grinning.

"Blue?"

"Well, your eyes are blue and so is your hair, so since I didn't know your name it seemed to fit," he explained.

"I'm Touya," I replied, gaze dropping to my feet.

"Shishiwakamaru, Shishi for short."

"Whoa…long name, huh?"

"Yeah, well…what'cha going to do?"

I shrugged, lapsing into silence. After all, I didn't know what else I could say to him; I wasn't the type to blab on and on about myself, especially since I didn't really know much about myself. I didn't even know what species of youkai I was, for Enma's sake!

"So…are you still the odd one out?" he asked.

"Huh?"

I was aware that that wasn't a particularly intelligent reply, but his question had caught me off guard. How was I supposed to answer something like that?

"You usually got excluded from games and such. Does that still happen?"

"Yeah…I never really noticed back then. They still let me play, so did it matter if I was picked last? No, not really. It's much worse now," I admitted.

"So, what do they do? Call you names? You know what they say: they can cut your skin as long as you break their bones."

"Among other things," I replied, sadly nodding.

"You can shrug that off, right?"

"Not exactly," I sighed, lifting up my shirt partway so that he could see the bruises on my stomach.

He winced.

"That looks like it hurt. So why don't you stand up for yourself?" he pushed.

"You think that I can? Sure, maybe _you_ have your swordsmanship skills and all that fighting ability, but look at _me_. I have nothing, as far as fighting goes. I can think and read and draw and write, but I can't hope to fight someone. It's just not me."

"What about aura? You've got to have some kind of abilities. I can shapeshift, to a minor degree."

"I can't do anything."

"Absolute bull. There is no such thing as a demon that can't use his aura."

"It's true!" I protested. "Do you think I'd lie to make myself seem _less_ competent?"

He shrugged, dropping the subject.

"Whatever you say, Blue. I'm sure you'll learn how to in due time."

I supposed I was stuck with the nickname 'Blue' from now on, since he didn't seem to want to drop it. It could have been worse.

"Yeah…I guess so."

"Well, I have a good feeling about this. I was always taught to recognize a good omen when I see one and to follow my instincts, and I'm feeling that we were destined to meet here. I think we'll be great friends!" he exclaimed.

I blinked in confusion. Friends? With me?

"You've got the wrong person, Shishi. I'm the odd one out, as you said. Why me?"

"'Cause you're interesting. Who wants to hang out with a bunch of thickheaded jerks? Take it as a compliment, if you want," he reasoned.

I suppose it was okay, but I didn't really trust him. I wasn't a total idiot. Why would I put my complete conviction in him if he hadn't done anything to deserve it?

"If you don't mind, I think I'll be going home now," I said.

"Goodbye then, Blue. See you later."

"Bye, Shishi."

A bit confused after the whole conversation, I limped home and promptly fell back asleep. Who says you can't sleep when you're not tired?

* * *

Yes, that was chapter one. If you would, please click that little purple rectangle in the lower left-hand corner of the screen and submit a review. Reviews make me very happy. Very. I wouldn't be mean enough to demand X reviews before I write and post chapter two, but they will make me write faster. Well, thanks for reading! 


	2. Candlesticks

Okay. Thanks to you all who are still reading this. It makes me very happy to know that some people are enjoying this. This chapter was written for Sora Sotara, who wanted to see a dangerous side to Touya, the part of him that isn't timid or meek. Now, everyone, continue on and read chapter two! Read and respond, if you can!

* * *

I yawned, stretching. Oddly enough, I had slept like the dead after meeting Shishi. I must have been even more tired than I thought I was, since I usually don't sleep for very long, especially not after having a nap earlier in the day. 

I stood up, unable to stifle another yawn. My eyelids felt heavy, and I was strongly tempted to go right back to sleep. Trying to clear my drowsy mind, I shook my head again. Sleeping in late was not something I normally did, and I didn't intend to repeat. There was no point in developing a bad habit.

Limping, I made my way into the kitchen, looking for something to eat.

"Hey there, sleepy. What are you doing up so late? Usually you're awake before the sun comes up!" Tal remarked.

"I stayed up a bit later than usual," I replied.

"Do you feel any better? You looked pretty beat-up yesterday."

I nodded. "My leg still bothers me, but no, it doesn't hurt too much."

"That's good to hear. Why don't you go get cleaned up?"

I nodded again, and walked down the hallway to the small washroom. It wasn't particularly big, about the size of a broom closet, and it only had a washbasin, a cabinet, and a chamber pot. There was a towel thrown over the edge of the cabinet, and I picked it up, dunking a corner in the water contained within the basin. Shutting my eyes, I thoroughly scrubbed my face with the cloth, getting dirt, grime, and any traces of blood off me. Afterwards, I dunked my head into the clear water.

I shook out my long mane of hair, droplets of water flying every which way. Soaked through and through, not even my bangs' stubbornness held up. They were as drenched as the rest of my hair, and, instead of sticking out as they typically did, they hung completely in front of my eye. I couldn't even see out of the left one because of the band of mint green covering it.

I tucked my bangs behind my ear. Seeing how I looked without the usual splash of color across my eye, I looked into the water.

Slanted, almond-shaped eyes stared back at me, with irises that seemed like shards of the sky itself: light blue, yet sharp, edged, almost. At least they appeared that way to me. I had always disliked my eyes (hate was too strong a word, really), disliked their lack of discernable pupils (they were there, all right. They were just a hair darker blue then my irises), their natural narrow shape, their ability to only show veiled emotion, never truly expressing what I was feeling. I had always wished I had been born with fiery red eyes, ones shaped like everyone else's, instead of the strange blue ones I had. Either way, I couldn't change my eyes any more than I could change the species of demon I was…even if I didn't know what that was.

Sighing, I shook my head vigorously to clear my mind. As would be expected, those troublesome bangs of mine came loose, falling over my eye again. I didn't mind that much. After all, I was used to it. Still hungry, I strode into the kitchen.

Tal watched on with mild amusement as I clambered up on the counter. Due to the height of the cabinets, I could only reach the bottom shelves of them. I had to climb up on the counter to reach the higher shelves. The bat demon, being almost seven feet tall, had no problem with it at all. He knew I would take offense if he tried to help me with getting down my breakfast, so he sat back in his chair and did nothing.

The chair was of an unusual variety; instead of having a full back, it only had an undersized strip of wood that fanned out at the top to make a headrest. The entire rest of the back was cut out to make room for Tal's wide wings.

I grabbed a loaf of bread, still fairly fresh from when we had baked it yesterday morning, a wheel of cheese with a third missing, and some strips of jerky. Jumping down, I winced. I had completely forgotten about my leg, and I bit my lip to keep myself from crying out in pain. I opened one of the drawers in the kitchen, pulling out a small metal knife. Carefully, I cut two slices of bread and a slice of cheese. I stacked the bread, cheese, and meat together to make my usual breakfast: a sandwich. The knife was cleaned on the inside of my shirt, and I put it away. Climbing up again, I replaced the rest of the food in its cabinet before cautiously lowering myself down to eat.

"Do you need anything else done?" I asked the bat demon, sitting down in one of my own, normal, chairs.

"Hmm…yes, I need to get those bolts of cloth I ordered," he replied.

"I'll do that after breakfast."

I had no real need to worry about the bullies. They wouldn't pick on me again, not as long as I showed the proper humility to them. A hierarchy like in most cities or towns in the Makai dominated our town. Since I was much weaker than them, and thus lower on the social ladder, I had to show my humility. That was the real reason as for why they were cruel towards me; I was different from them, and weaker, so they asserted their dominance by giving me a licking every now and then. It had the added benefit, for them, of being fun. Because if this, if Tal interfered, they had to punish me extra because I was out stepping my bounds. This wasn't just disorganized chaos.

Tal handed me a couple of silver coins.

"This should cover the payment for them."

Briefly, I considered shoving the rest of my sandwich in my mouth and leaving on the errand. But no, I had been raised much better than that. I had been taught plenty about manners, and I tried my best to obey them all. After eating, I waved good-bye to Tal and left to complete my task.

It was still blazingly hot outside. I could almost feel my body temperature rise. Shaking my head, I trotted down the road to the clothiers'.

A certain blue-haired swordsman rested against a wall of someone's house, looking completely at ease.

"Oh! It's you again," I said, stopping.

"Nice to see you to, Blue," he replied.

"So…I'll be going now," I murmured, starting to walk away.

To my complete shock, he followed, falling into step beside me.

"W-what? Why are you coming with me?" I asked, aware that I sounded like a complete idiot.

"Like I said, you're interesting. I said I thought we'd make good friends, so I intend to pursue this. I don't give up easily, in case you couldn't tell," he responded, flashing me a fanged grin.

"Um…okay, Shishi."

"What kind of response is that? 'Um…okay, Shishi'? What the hell?"

I blinked in confusion. He seemed fickle, capricious. If a usual, hesitant statement by me was enough to get him to yell at me, then I needed to watch it around him, even if he didn't intend to be mean to me.

"_Like light in night or fire in ice,_" I murmured.

"What was that?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering what it was you had just said. Sounded like a poem to me," he elaborated.

"Yes, it was. I was referring to the lines '_Like light in night or fire in ice, It's as unpredictable as darkness bright'_. You just seemed rather unpredictable to me at that moment," I replied. _Never mind the fact that the poem was referring to a particularly bloody battle,_ I thought.

"Weird, but whatever floats your boat, Blue."

"Um…thank you?"

We walked in silence for another minute or so before the two of us reached the fabric merchant. I waved Shishi good-bye, and I opened the door into the shop.

After a couple of minutes of haggling and talking, I paid and threw the huge bolts of black, tan, and red fabric over my shoulder. Murmuring my thanks, I exited the shop.

"That's what you were here for? Hell, you must be a real sap if you're going to run errands _willingly_ for your parents."

I couldn't help but wince slightly at that. Yes, I had Tal, but it wasn't the same as having real parents, and both the bat youkai and I knew it.

"My old man's always yelling at me to do this, and don't do that. I am who I am, right? So who's he to tell me that I'm not allowed to transform outside of the house or stay out too late after dark? It's just not fair! I'm plenty competent enough to protect myself, so why should-"

"I don't have parents," I cut in, unable to keep a melancholic tone out of my usually soft voice.

"W-what? But…then…if you can't…then why…" Shishiwakamaru spluttered.

"I'm adopted," I elaborated. "Cotalyn took me in."

I wasn't sure why I was saying this.

"Well…that's too bad. Still, I'm sure he gives you more freedom than mine do. After all, you were wandering around past midnight, and you didn't seem at all worried, as if you were used to it. You're lucky that you have-"

"Don't say that," I whispered, annoyed. I felt like something in me broke right then. _Probably my patience,_ I thought.

"Say what?" he asked.

"Don't you _try_ and tell me that I'm 'lucky' to have Tal as my guardian. I know that that's all he could ever truly be: My _guardian_. Not my dad, but my _guardian_. I never knew them, Shishi. I never knew my own parents. I can't remember anything, not the blurriest image of a room that I used to stay in, not the faintest idea of what they could have looked like. Please don't tell me that I'm 'lucky' for this ever again," I calmly stated.

I hadn't yelled that at him, but my cold indifference seemed to have had a greater effect on the blue-haired teenager than any bellowed words. I was beginning to shock myself, what with my willingness to call him out. Maybe I was more of a fighter than I had realized. The swordsman seemed absolutely stunned that I had said that. Frankly, I could relate.

My words themselves were true and untrue at the same time. Tal was not and would never be my father; that much was true. But it was wrong for me to say that that was all he could ever be. I loved Tal as much as I had when I was much younger, when I thought that he was my real father. He told me the truth fairly soon, of course, but it hadn't changed how I saw him.

"It looks like a struck a nerve," he said at last. "Fine. I won't bring this up again, Blue. I didn't know, okay? How was I supposed to?"

"Yeah…I know you didn't. But...the way that you had said that I was… was… _lucky_… to not have parents… It made my blood boil. You can understand, right?"

He was silent for a bit.

"Yes. I can understand. My temper isn't exactly something that's easy to hide. Some things just set me off. I'm sure that certain things will piss anyone off," he reasoned.

I nodded, gaze dropping back to my feet. When I had snapped at Shishi, I had stared him straight in the eyes, yet not glaring.

"I still want to know why you insist on being friends with me. Please don't say 'Because you're interesting', because I'd like to have a real reason," I said.

"But that's essentially what it comes down to: You are different, interesting. That's my reason. Look, I was gone for half my life. How many people are going to be quick to accept me back? Not many, I can tell you that," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Then, I see you. You're willing to talk to me, and you don't treat me any different than you do the others. Who wants to be alone out there? It's a big world, Blue, and no one wants to have to handle it all on his own. That's what friends are for, right?"

I blinked. That wasn't what I had been expecting. Still, I was starting to realize that Shishi seemed to take pleasure in doing the unforeseen and saying things clear out of the blue.

"Look, this is my house. I'll…see you later," I said.

"Great to hear it. Hey, by the way, do you sleep naked or anything?"

"WHAT?" I exclaimed. Out of the blue was one thing, but that was uncalled for! I could feel my cheeks turn bright red.

"Well, you know, if I sneak out to say 'hi'. I don't want to…well, let's just put it this way: You're a nice person, Blue, but I really don't want to subject myself to that."

"No, no I don't. Now that the kind of…um, _personal_, questions are over, I'll be going. Bye."

"See you later," he casually said, slowly making his way down the street, perhaps to do those chores he so despised.

I could only shake my head. His nonchalant attitude about most of life was one I had not seen before. Shishi was laid-back, yet I could tell that he was far more somber than he showed himself to be. I was sure that he wouldn't be making jokes and such if we were in a serious situation.

Pushing the door open, I walked into Tal's house.

"Did you run into any trouble?" he asked.

He needn't have bothered. It would be painfully obvious if I had gotten myself into another mess.

"No, I didn't. Here's the cloth you wanted," I replied, placing the fabric on the table he was sitting at. I reached into my pants pocket, pulling out the extra money I hadn't used.

"Keep it, Touya. Buy yourself some candy or something," Tal offered.

I nodded. I wouldn't actually spend it, not yet; instead, I would keep it in the drawer that was in the table beside my bed. I had been saving up for quite some time, keeping any coins Tal gave me, and if there were something I truly wanted, then I'd spend it. Of course, that didn't stop me from dipping into the fund every now and then to indulge my sweet tooth. I didn't have enough self-restraint to keep myself from doing that. I happened to quite like candy.

"Thank you," I softly responded, walking down the hall to my room.

My room wasn't particularly big, but it was large enough to house a young demon such as myself. Directly across from the door was a tiny, round window that was about twice the size of my head. A latch on the inside let me open it to catch a cool night breeze, if I so desired. Right under the window was my bed, with a table with a stub of a candle in a candlestick on top, the table right next to my bed, by the pillow. On the wall to the right, a huge bookcase took up most of the room, and in the corner to the left, closest to the door, was a periwinkle armchair. My dresser was up against the wall that had the door on it, off to the right. A snow-white rug with little birds embroidered into it took up the middle of the floor, but other than that there was nothing on the ground. I was a neat freak.

A few drawings were tacked up to the walls, providing a bit of decoration for the otherwise plain, light, light blue, almost white, walls. Almost all the pictures were done solely in pencil, such as an inquisitive owl and a wolf, but there were a few exceptions, like a painted snowy landscape. I had done most of them, but one or two had been gifts from Tal. My ceiling was a similar color to the rest of the room, and the floor was dark wood. All in all, it was calming to me, if for no other reason than the fact that this was my place and my place alone.

I pulled one of my books off of its shelf, sat down in the armchair, and started to read.

* * *

It was dark out. My day had passed as they usually did, with me locked up in my room for most of it. I was nearing the middle of my book when I heard a tapping sound coming from my window. 

Looking up, I saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes. An owl-like face stared down at me. It had skin instead of feathers, and two ribbed horns stuck out from its forehead. Long, pointed ears stuck out from carefully preened blue hair. Seeing that it had my attention, it knocked on the window again with a clawed foot that vaguely resembled an eagle's, except three toes stuck forward and none pointed backwards and it was covered in skin, like the rest of the strange owl-imp. The little creature was wearing a purple kimono. I didn't know what to think of it.

It seemed quite intent upon coming into my room. Hesitant, I grabbed the candlestick as a makeshift weapon, and then opened the latch. I stepped back a few steps, brandishing the candlestick in case it proved hostile. The owl-imp, as I decided to call it, flew in and landed on my bed, where it proceeded to die laughing.

The small thing was rolling on its back, luminous eyes shut, as it flat-out guffawed. I didn't know whether it found something funny or whether there was something wrong with it. Watching on, I waited for it to do something.

All of the sudden, the owl-imp vanished, and in its spot was Shishiwakamaru, laughing his head off.

"You should have," he chuckled, "seen yourself. With your candlestick-"

He couldn't continue talking, he was laughing so much. I blinked in utter astonishment for a second, before carefully setting said candlestick back on the table. I did not like being laughed at, not at all, and I felt the powerful urge to throw him out of here. Instead, I threw myself down in the armchair, arms crossed and head bowed. Brooding, I waited for him to apologize or something of the like.

"The candlestick! You were holding it like it was freaking Excalibur or something!" he choked out, rolling with laughter.

I was quite indignant.

"How was I supposed to know that that was you? You never told me you could turn into a little owl-imp! I was afraid you were going to gouge my eyes out or something!" I replied, in a huff. He managed to contain his laughter, wiping the tears out of the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever Blue. I better be careful, though, 'cause you might poke me with your candlestick!"

It was too much for him, and he started laughing anew.

I glared.

"Fine, if that's it, then you can leave. I don't remember inviting you," I growled.

"Aw, c'mon, it was just a joke. Lighten up a little!" he said. Seeing as I was not smiling back, his grin faded. "Look, I'm sorry if I offended you, but that was just too funny. You'd have laughed if I was the one doing it."

I supposed that was as close as I would get to Shishi admitting that he had done something wrong. Nodding slightly, I stared up at the ceiling.

"I was only stopping in to say 'hi'. I can't stay. So, I'll be seeing you later…hopefully without the candlestick," he couldn't help but add.

"Sure thing. Bye," I replied, feeling a bit less than happy since he burst in and started making fun of me. Sure, it was good-natured, but I still didn't like it.

"Bye," he called back, turning back into the owl-imp and flying out my window.

I couldn't help but think as I shut the latch, _I make the oddest friends!_

* * *

Yeah...I think I'm going to have a lot of fun writing Shishi's character. I've always seen him as an unpredictable, yet kind of easygoing kind of guy. Plus, you all know you'd have been laughing at the candlestick too if you had been there...if you aren't laughing already. Just trying to lighten the mood. That last moment, the one with the Shishi imp...that's all for you, SwisArmyRomance. Anyway, please review. As far as constructive criticism goes, I can take quite a bit of "well, this is a bit hard to understand here" and "so-and-so seemed out of character here" or even "I didn't really like this chapter because". I want to improve, so tell me where I've screwed up and I'll try and fix it._  
_


	3. Whatever You Say, Blue

Chapter three, everyone. Yay for me! Yay for you! Yay for my little green parakeet! Woot!

* * *

I was still miffed at Shishi, so the next day I did not see him. If he wanted to laugh at his friends, then they wouldn't be his friends much longer. Of course, I intended to forgive him, just not before he's put through a day or so of being ignored. The birdlike demon deserved it anyway. 

Lazily, I stretched, yawning. I had gotten a good deal farther in my book, and I intended to finish it today. Shifting, I got into a more comfortable position, literally curled up with the book. My head was on the right armrest of my chair and my knees were tucked almost to my chest, the book propped up against my knees. It was the typical way that I spent my days.

A tapping on my windowpane echoed through the still silence of the room. I looked up, met Shishi's owl-imp gaze, and promptly turned back to reading.

I could tell without looking that Shishi was furious. The pounding on the glass almost doubled in the noise it made. I continued to ignore him.

The birdlike demon uttered a few choice words, words that Tal had told me specifically not to use. I merely rolled over a little, so that my back was to the window.

"Fine! If that's how it's going to be!" he yelled through the thick glass, barely making any noise to me.

I didn't think he understood that this wasn't because I didn't like him. In fact, I was next to certain that he didn't know how much I loathed being laughed at. Therefore, it was kind of cruel to isolate myself from him so that he couldn't talk to me. Still, I wanted to teach him a lesson. If he laughs at me, I ignore him. Shishi seemed to be a bright enough guy. He'd figure it out eventually.

Meanwhile, the teenager in question was taking out his anger on the tree right outside my window, no more than ten feet away. I had used the tree to climb on the roof many, many times. The branches were just the right length and thickness to support my less-than-average weight all the way to the end, where I could jump to the relatively flat roof. It was a sort of pastime of mine.

I sighed, turning a page in my book. What he did with his time was no concern of mine.

It was mere seconds later that I heard knocking on the door. Since the person waiting (i.e. Shishi) did not repeat the knocking, I was sure that Tal had gotten the door. That meant that I would be safe for approximately five minutes.

There was a buzz of conversation from the kitchen, which was also used as a living room/waiting room sort of thing. I waited anxiously for a bit, and then my door opened, and then slammed shut.

"What the freaking hell is wrong with you?" Shishi demanded, glaring daggers.

"I don't see the problem," I quietly replied.

"Why didn't you let me in?"

I remained silent.

He trembled slightly with rage, and I could see his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands. I realized that unless I said something quickly, then he'd probably attack me.

"I was angry," I murmured, trying to use a calming tone. It mostly just sounded pathetic to me.

"For _what?_" he demanded.

"I…I hate being laughed at. It's happened all my life, and I hate it," I confessed.

"Why the hell didn't you just say so, then?" he asked.

"I-I…I'm not that good at…talking…with other people. I didn't…I don't…it just doesn't come naturally to me, and I haven't had much practice. Tal is one thing, but… I'm sorry, okay?" I replied, stumbling over my words.

He arched an eyebrow.

"Well, then, we're going to have to change that," he decisively stated.

I tucked a bookmark with a hand-drawn fox on it into the book, setting it down.

"So…what do you want to do?"

"I dunno," Shishi said, shrugging.

The lavender-eyed youkai sat down on my bed, placing his hands behind his head and lying down.

"What do you usually do?" he asked.

"Read, or draw, or something," I responded.

"Well _that_ sounds fun," he sarcastically replied.

"Then you think of something to do, if I'm so boring."

"'Kay. Let's just…talk about ourselves."

I rolled my eyes at that, but I didn't think that he could tell. After all, since my pupils were barely discernable from the rest of my eyes, he wouldn't be able to tell where I was looking without staring me dead in the eyes. Shishi seemed perfectly content with looking up at my ceiling.

"You go first," I decided.

He shrugged again.

"Let's see… I'm thirty-three and five foot six. I like sleeping, swordplay, hot chicks, bird watching, eagle riding, playing Skipstone, and whittling, not necessarily in that order. I hate getting ignored, people who lie about everything, bad singing, jackasses, being cooped up in my room, and dumb rules, not necessarily in _that_ order, either. I'm a half vampire demon, half bird demon, and prefer to wear baggy clothes to tight ones. My favorite color is lavender…that's about it."

I stared. It was almost as if the whole thing had been rehearsed or something.

"Um… I'm five two and sixty pounds. I like reading…and, uh, the night, birds of prey… the rain, watching clouds, and stories. I don't like getting laughed at, being picked on, small spaces… bad food, and, uh, sunburn. I have no clue what kind of demon I am, and I like wearing loose-fitting clothes, too. I like the color red."

"That…was unusual. You know that I'm at least a third heavier than you, right? And plus, it kind of sucks to not know what you are, doesn't it? I mean, at least I know exactly what I am, but you don't. That really sucks."

"I already knew that," I pointed out.

"Yeah, whatever. You have some _really_ odd eyes, don't you?"

I was always touchy on that subject.

"You don't have to say that," I growled. "I can't help that."

"Wow, _another_ sensitive topic. Is there anything you're comfortable with talking about?"

"Yes, there is. I just don't like talking about my parents or my appearance. Just because those are the _two_ topics you want to talk about doesn't mean that I'm not comfortable with anything."

"Whatever you say, Blue."

"So you're a vampire? Are you going to, um, drink my blood?" I asked, feeling a bit awkward with the childish question.

"Like hell I am!" he yelled, jumping to his feet. "Just 'cause I'm half vampire demon doesn't mean I'm going to bite your neck and start sucking your blood. I eat normal food! Blood can set me off a little, but I'm not going to go psycho and attack you, okay?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I was just wondering. Now-"

I bit my lip and cut off the sentence.

"Now what? Finish your sentence," he ordered.

"Now look who's being overly sensitive!" I shouted.

He appeared furious for a second, before bursting out laughing.

"What?"

"I _so_ deserved that!" he chuckled.

I blinked for a second.

"I did. Really," he insisted.

"O-okay," I murmured.

"Now, let's go do something _fun_. I know who you are, you know who I am, let's go outside and play a game or something," he suggested, pacing.

"Like…what?"

"Skipstone or Yomi versus Mukuro. Something like that."

"No, I don't really like that kind of stuff. Why not a book discussion or something?" I asked.

"Y-you're kidding, right? Please, please tell me that."

"Why would I joke about reading? I love reading!"

Shishi snorted.

"Actually going out of your way to pen yourself up indoors? Right… that's just plain weird. It's like stabbing yourself repeatedly with a knife. I didn't know you were a masochist."

I ground my teeth. Who was he to judge my hobbies?

"I _like_ it in here. It's safe, quiet, and built for my needs. There's no real reason to leave unless I'm out of food or need a new book or something."

"I can't understand you. Not one bit. Didn't you say you didn't like small spaces? Why'd you keep yourself inside, then?"

"Because…they're aren't small places in here. Unless I crawl under my bed or something else insane, I'm not going to have to worry. Plus, I prefer thinking to physical exertion. And there's no one else in here, and there's no scorching sun…it's just fine," I murmured, looking down at my baggy short-sleeved shirt.

"Blue…do you dislike small spaces or are you afraid of them?"

"Afraid," I confessed. "Why does it matter?"

"Why are you afraid, then? There's nothing wrong with small places."

"I…don't want to talk about it. All I'm going to say is that I almost lost my life."

"Aw, why not? I'll answer anything you want to ask about me if you do."

"I don't want to ask anything you don't want to answer," I maintained.

"Then will you do it just because we're friends?" he pushed.

"…Fine. Just promise not to tell _anyone_."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," he vowed.

"I was much younger at the time, about fifteen or sixteen. It had snowed a lot outside, and I wanted to go play in the snow. I always have liked the snow. So I was running around, finding joy just in being outside when it was this cold out and it was that beautiful. Suddenly, I stepped on a patch of loose snow situated over a deep ditch or something. The snow had fallen over me, and I couldn't find my way out. It was all cold and white and confusing, I didn't know which way was up. I was disoriented, I couldn't find my way out. Terrified, I called for help, but no one could hear me. I eventually collapsed, crying."

"My strength ebbed, until I ended up falling asleep. It was the single most frightening thing that has happened to me in my life. I woke up indoors, on my own bed. Tal had managed to trace my aura, even though I had expended most of it just trying to keep myself alive and conscious. I had developed pneumonia from being cold and wet for so long. It was awful, just awful. I never want to be forced into a small places again, Shishi," I finished.

"Shouldn't you be afraid of snow or something, then? 'Cause it doesn't really look like it was because you were in a confining place, you know."

"Well, I'm not, okay?"

"Whatever, Blue, whatever," he muttered.

I sighed again. The fact that I had just confessed my single worst fear ever to Shishi, who I had barely known for a day, was not something I was proud of. It meant that I had little to no self-control to speak of.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked again.

"I don't really know. Why don't you show me the limits of your shapeshifting?"

"Okey-dokey, Blue. Don't say I didn't warn you that this is going to be kind of scary, though."

All in a second, his features changed. His pupils shrunk to pinpoints, his irises vanishing. Horns the length of his neck sprouted from above his ears, and his canine teeth grew in size, poking over his bottom lip. His nose seemed skeletal, as though it was merely bone with skin stretched over it, only snakelike slits for nostrils showing. Shishi's fingernails grew into claws, quite probably capable of slicing through me like a sword through butter.

I yelped, shrinking back, and my body started to shake a bit. He looked like he was Death himself, here to take my soul to the depths of Limbo. It was a horrible thought.

"Hey, calm down. It's just me," he soothed.

When I looked up, he was back to normal.

"I-I'm sorry. You scared me, that's all."

"Yeah, I have that effect on people," he said, shrugging. "That, the imp, and the form I'm currently using are the only three that I can choose. I'm most comfortable in this one, so I usually use it."

"Well, let's go outside, okay?"

"But…I don't like to-"

"I'll teach you the basics of swordplay, if you want."

"Um…I suppose so…" I reluctantly agreed.

"Great! Let's go!" he enthusiastically exclaimed, grinning. The half bird demon sauntered over to the door, motioning for me to follow.

Shrugging, I followed him. This might actually be interesting…

* * *

"Whoa! This is insane!" I yelped, clinging to the giant bird for dear life, eyes squeezed shut. 

Shishi threw his hands over his head, holding on with only his knees, and laughed with joy.

"C'mon, Tempest, faster!" he insisted, spurring on the huge eagle.

I threw my arms around my own mount's neck. Shishi had insisted on us riding these eagles, promised up and down that this was the best thing _ever_. I hadn't been sure, or willing to leave the ground, but he had convinced me. Now, though, I was scared out of my wits. The ground was so very far down, and I was less than sure that the eagles would dive down to catch me if I fell.

"S-Shishi…when I said that I liked birds of prey, I didn't mean like this!"

"Aw, toughen up, Blue. This is _awesome_! C'mon, open your eyes and enjoy it!" he encouraged, grinning even wider than he had before, which seemed rather hard.

Hesitantly, I pried my eyes open. The world was miniature below us, with green blobs representing the immense forests all over the Makai, tiny blue ribbons of water that were actually gigantic rivers, and little boxes for houses. I yelped again, burying my face in the bird's neck feathers. It was frightening, to say the least. How Shishi was perfectly comfortable up here would have been a mystery to me, were it not for one fact: he was part bird demon. He was meant to be equally at ease on land or in the sky. Plus, he could always shapeshift to stop himself from dying from a nasty fall. I could do no such thing.

"How do you land these things?" I asked, although I wasn't sure he could hear me that well, what with my mouth muffled by dark brown feathers and the wind racing by.

"You're not supposed to land for a while! Want to try a dive?"

"No! This is bad enough!"

"Are you afraid of heights, too?" he wondered, managing to ask it with a straight face before that grin of his returned.

"Of course not! This is just…something else, you know?"

"Sure thing, Blue. Maybe you're a _chicken_ demon!" he teased.

I was not about to take something like that. Eyes shut, I sat up a bit more, trying to quell the rapid beating in my usually slow heart. All youkai's hearts beat much slower than humans'; four beats a minute were plenty for us. Slowly, I opened one eye, then the other.

"See? Wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I guess not… Just don't make mine dive, okay?" I asked.

"Whatever you say, Blue. C'mon, Tempest! C'mon, Arrow! Dive down!" he yelled out, tugging on the reins to his.

I squeaked, half throwing myself on the enormous animal as it streaked towards the ground. The wind was shooting by so quickly that it made my eyes water, before I shut them, hanging onto the eagle for dear life. I felt like my stomach was dropping, and I felt faintly sick. The lavender-eyed swordsman chuckled to himself.

"M-make it land this s-second!" I ordered.

"C'mon! Don't ruin the fun!" he chided.

"I feel sick, Shishi!"

"Fine, fine…wuss," he muttered. "Land, Tempest, Arrow."

The eagles obliged, spiraling around before landing right outside our village, where we had picked them up. Shishi had treated me to a flight on the back of one of these giant eagles. The stables within our town had a few, as was customary of just about every Makai village.

I half-fell off, pulled myself to my feet, and stumbled a little. I managed to stagger a couple of feet away, before falling to my knees. My stomach heaved, and I vomited all over the ground. Shishi wrinkled up his nose, shying away a little.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve.

"That's just gross," he disdainfully said.

"I couldn't help it. I _told_ you I didn't feel good."

"Yeah, well… meh. So….what do you want to do now?" he asked, for what must have been the hundredth time since I had first met him. Shishi and I had known each other for half a year or more. We were virtually inseparable now, but even so, he still found some kind of amusement in jokingly teasing me. I understood.

"Whatever doesn't involve leaving the ground," I replied.

"Whatever you say, Blue, whatever you say."

* * *

Yeah...he's half vampire, 'cause I said so. I mean, he can turn into this little imp thing, he has long canine teeth, and he just seems sort of vampire-ish. Well...whatever. Review please! I miss the insight of all who do not. For the record, I_ am_ going somewhere with this. It actually has a plot!...I'm just taking a little bit to get there. 


	4. Blue Is Neon Green

Hello once again, everyone. It is nice to see you all again, especially since this is pretty much my only hobby. That and collecting dryer lint... but I digress. Here is chapter four of Ice Freezes. Yes, I know, none of you expected that. After all, this is labeled 'Ice Freezes' and this is the fourth chapter, but logically we could never assume that it was, indeed, chapter four. It could have been an announcement. It could have been a side story. It could have been a commercial. Yup, it's not chapter four unless I say so. Okay...bad attempt at humor, but whatever. Congratulations, all, on sticking with me. Read and, if at all possible, please review.

* * *

_Fire was everywhere, burning, destroying, greedily grasping anything it could find in its caustic fingers, eliminating it. I ran, but it was truly in vain. How could I hope to outrun something that annihilated all that it came in contact with? In mere minutes I would be tired, and soon after even adrenalin couldn't keep me on my feet. The blaze would consume me as surely as it did everything else. It was only my intense desire to live that kept me on the run, searching for some kind of protection before the flames killed me._

_My bangs, soaked like the rest of me from sweat, fully coated my left eye, and my peripheral vision was lost. I no longer attempted to push them out of the way; it only wasted energy, energy that I did not have to spare. I urged my legs to go faster, faster, until I could make it to the vast river that divided Yomi's realm from Mukuro's. They were already going as fast as they physically could, though. I couldn't run any faster than I already was. Despite my knowledge of this, my mind couldn't quite understand. I was in a state of panic, desperately fleeing from the inevitable, Death coming to take me. It was that which I knew that I would face eventually, but I was young, too young for this! I was supposed to live thousands of years, and Death did not seem like something I would have to face anytime soon._

_Not having the strength to jump clear over it, I stepped on a large log that had blocked the path, the path that directed me out of this, away from the sure death behind me. The wood, weakened from chewing insects and the rot that had affected it, after Death had already come for the tree, caved in. My foot, securely wedged between either side of the log, couldn't pull free. I pitched forward, hitting the ground face first. Yelping, I wrenched my foot free, staggered to my feet again, and continued running, running for the life that I suddenly appreciated so much._

_Coughing horribly from the ash and smoke, I dared to look back and see how close the burning terror was. The fire hadn't caught up to me, but rather, it lazily followed, always so close by that I could feel the heat. It seemed to be teasing me, toying with its prey, the same prey that was dumb enough to think that it could escape. Only a predator sure of the kill would follow in such a manner. This did nothing to help my already frantic mind. I bolted, stumbling every now and then over uneven ground._

_The forest opened into a clearing, and I could see running water on the other side. A small smile appeared on my face, as I realized that I would make it to the river in time, that I would be safe._

_That was when the blaze, which, unbeknownst to me, had curved to either side, flanking me, closed the circle. A wall of fire sprang up before me, the river mere yards away. I screeched to a halt, looking fearfully around. It was as I had feared; I was completely surrounded, flame on all sides. My heart thumping faster than a human's was said to beat, I fell to the ground. My lungs couldn't take in enough air; ash and soot I had inhaled while running were clogging them. I simply did not have the energy left to remain standing._

_The flames closed in, delivering death to all they touched. In seconds, Death itself would be upon me. I closed my eyes and waited for it to all be over…_

"Blue! Blue, wake up!"

I jerked back from the touch, imagining the searing touch of fingers of flame, the bony fingers of Death.

"Calm down, Blue! It was just a dream," Shishi soothed.

"O-Okay," I shakily murmured, opening my eyes and sitting up. My clothes clung to my body. Taking deep breaths of the clean, fresh air, I wiped the sweat off my forehead. It had been a horrible nightmare, and it had seemed incredibly real to me, as if it was all actually happening.

"Sheesh, what was that about? Your screaming woke me up, and you were thrashing and flailing about. You seemed to be in pretty bad shape, Blue. You had me afraid for you," the swordsman confessed, staring at me worriedly.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "It was so terrible…fire everywhere, I couldn't escape it…"

"Fire, huh? I'm not afraid of any fire! I'd turn around and fight it myself, if you needed me to," he bragged. "It'd be the one running away soon enough!"

"Yeah… I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Eh, I'd be awake soon enough anyway. Don't worry about it. In the meantime, why don't you take a bath or something? Frankly, you're covered in sweat, and you really don't smell all that great."

I sighed. That was typical Shishi all right.

"Okay."

I stood up, and started to make my way towards the door. My aura seemed unusually restless, and the room spun in my vision. I stumbled, swaying on my feet for a second. My mind seemed foggy, and I couldn't quite think straight. The next thing I knew, my back slammed into the ground, knocking the wind out of me. I had instinctively shut my eyes upon hitting the floor, and as I gasped for breath, I didn't bother to re-open them. I felt dizzy.

"Hey, Blue! Blue! What's wrong? You're sick or something! C'mon, stand up!" Shishi cried out, concerned.

I pulled myself back to my feet, although he insisted upon me leaning on his arm for support.

"I just felt dizzy all of the sudden. It's nothing," I assured him.

"If you say so…" he muttered. "I still think that you're sick."

"No, I don't think so. My aura was acting odd. It seemed restless, moving about, and I wasn't quite sure what was going on," I admitted.

"Huh…I guess that's just a Blue-thing. I dunno. Anyway, are you sure you can walk fine? 'Cause if you can't, then you're going have to go right back into my room, lay down in your sleeping bag, and wait there until I can bring a healer back."

I nodded that yes, I could still walk just fine. He seemed doubtful, and on the verge of ordering me right back into his room, but my resolute expression made him reconsider. I didn't want to be treated like I was an invalid or something. That was just a momentary spell of weakness, and I was fine now.

My aura was twisting and turning within me, and I felt uncomfortable. I had to do something to make it calm down, and I automatically thought of cooling myself down. Aura, or ki, as it was also called, was not something that I could ignore. If it was restless or such, then I was going to make it stop. It was like feeling hungry or out of breath; I was going to eat something or gulp down air to make the feeling pass. Ki needed to be taken care of as well. Still, my own aura had never acted like this before, ever. I was unsure as to what it meant.

"My aura feels unusual," I told the swordsman. "It's never acted like this before."

"Well, I have no clue. I'm a fighter, not some kind of aura-studier-person."

"Thanks," I sarcastically muttered. "Did yours ever do anything like this?"

"Mine? Nope, never," he replied, still not letting me stand on my own. We were walking to the washroom so that Shishi could grab the tub. He was then going to haul up water from the well to fill it up, and then leave so I could take a quick bath. As he had said, I probably needed it.

* * *

I sighed with contentment, liking the feel of the icy cold water on my bare skin. The second I had touched the water, my aura had calmed down, and it seemed to faintly glow with pleasure. This made a slightly lopsided smile appear on my face. My smiles were crooked, not quite straight. The left side was almost always higher than the right. 

I lay there, soaking in the cold water for a while. It had a soothing effect on me. Soon enough, though, I got to washing off the dirt and sweat, actually doing what I was supposed to in the first place. After a bit, I stepped out of the water, shaking my hair every which way. Quickly, I dressed in a change of clothes before heading back towards Shishi's house.

His parents weren't as bad as he said they were, not at all. Shishi's father, a feathered bird demon, was severe, yet he let my friend have quite a lot of privileges that the swordsman dismissed with a wave of his hand, such as getting paid every couple of days and being allowed to use the wood stove. Tal didn't want me to get too close to the fire, ever since I had passed out when I was younger. My body didn't cope well with heat, not at all.

His mother, the vampire youkai, was quiet and more than a bit gruff, yet she did care for her son. I always felt like I was intruding whenever I was in the same room as the three of them, even though Shishi assured me that I wasn't. It just didn't feel _right_ to me. They were his parents, not mine.

Opening the door to Shishi's room, I found the half-bird demon lying on his bed, his head over the side of it, so that his hair hung down. It was a comical position, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Good to see you're back, Blue," he mumbled from his upside-down position.

I nodded, yawning. My ki now feeling a little better, I sat down on my sleeping bag, crossing my legs under me.

"Now what do you want to do?"

"I don't know," I replied.

"Wonderful. You never do. How about we go outside and spar?" he suggested.

"You know I don't like fighting," I murmured. "Why can't we just do something _I_ want to do, for once?"

"Sheesh, you don't have to get all defensive. All I did was offer an idea. What's going on with you? First you faint, and now you're all pissed off at me," Shishi said.

"I really don't know. I'm just fed up with the fact that we only ever do something that _you_ want to do, and I never even have a say in it. It's been fighting and riding giant birds and looking at girls ever since I met you, and you've never even let me have a say in what we do. It's just irritating, you know," I confessed.

"You're not into girls?" he asked quizzically.

"No, not really."

"So…you like guys?"

I quickly drew a sign in the air: two upside-down triangles connected by a horizontal line. It represented a demon's fangs, which were considered a sign of good luck. When captured, oftentimes enemies would pull out the captive's fangs, to forever rob him of good luck. Therefore, without fangs myself, I was considered to be bad luck to be near. Most youkai had them, after all, so I had the potential to be called several vicious insults, such as "half-breed" and "filthy human-kin", since humans didn't have fangs like youkai did. To call someone one of those things without it being the absolute truth was to insult them in a way that could never be taken back. I was lucky that I had never been called such a thing straight to my face. I had heard people murmur that I was "impure of blood", and it hurt, badly. They assumed that I had human ancestry since I was fangless.

Humans were our worst enemies, period. They hunted youkai for sport, just because we were different from them. In turn, we killed humans, but strictly for self-defense, or so I had been taught. No human had ever so much as looked at me, so I wouldn't know. Still, if they would kill another of my race, if not species, then they couldn't be good people. If they would slay a demon for no reason, then killing them was the righteous path. Evil was to be destroyed. That was justice, right?

Still, fangs truly were as important to apparitions as arms. A one-armed demon was subject to plenty of stares, as was a fangless one. I was quite unfortunate to lack them. Some species of demons did not have pointed teeth, as most did. The most notable exceptions were bird youkai, some insect demons, eye demons, and doppelganger youkai, which were faceless. Obviously, I did not fit into any of those categories. Therefore, I was the target of much ridicule. Even so, Shishi had gone too far. Homosexuality was the fiercest of taboos in my village, possibly all of the Makai (I did not know; this was the only place I had ever lived in, and I had little to no knowledge of the rest of the world), and not even in the wildest dreams would I even think of breaking it. For him to insinuate that I would do so was absolutely awful.

"That was uncalled for," I whispered.

"I…I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking when I said it," he admitted.

"You know for a fact that you're my only friend. That isn't a coincidence at all. None of the other kids will treat me as an equal. With that being so, do you think I even have a chance among the girls, when they have so many others that aren't social outcasts to choose from? Hardly. You're lucky that they still consider you an option, what with the fact that you willfully associate with me. With no chance at all, I've rather lost interest. I know better than to dwell on something that couldn't be."

Shishi shook his head.

"If you truly wanted to, you could have the chicks falling all over themselves to please you, Blue. I mean, a quick haircut, fighting in a few brawls, putting a bit of meat on you, and you'd be just fine. When it all comes down to it, if you have enough strength to throw around, no one gives a damn if you're a bit on the skimpy side and happen to not have sharp teeth. Just build yourself a rep and no one will screw around with you."

I once again made the fangs symbol in the air to ward off the bad luck his words carried.

"Don't say that! Just because you have fangs, you make these statements. I don't, and it won't make any difference how strong I am."

"Yeah, well, whatever. Anyway, all you want to do is sit inside and read. You know I hate doing that, right? Then why bother?"

"You know I don't like spending time outside," I pointed out, although I didn't have the courage to say it to his face. Instead, I merely said it too quietly for him to hear, or at least I had thought so.

"Yeah, well, at least you _can_ do all that. I can't even-" he started, stopping abruptly. Actually, it had been far too abruptly. I wanted to know why.

"What, hm?" I asked. "You promised me, back when I told you that I was claustrophobic, that you'd answer anything I asked about you. Now please, tell me what you were going to say."

"I'm illiterate, okay? No one ever taught me how to read. So…there," he growled, managing to turn an embarrassing fact about himself into what sounded like a threat.

"I… I'm sorry," I murmured. It sounded lame even to my ears. "I could…teach you?"

"No thanks. I'm fine as is. Anyway, Sir No-Fangs, I think you should be going home around now," he said, an annoyed tone in his voice.

I could tell that telling me that had really irritated him. He had always told me that fangs were just another part of the body, and that I didn't see his ass bringing him any good luck. The half bird demon always was more than a bit vulgar, but he _was_ the only one who would be my friend, so I usually ignored it. That being so, his comment about my fangs, or lack thereof, was for the sole purpose of being spiteful towards me.

"I'll be going then. Bye, Shishi."

He didn't even reply.

Sighing, I left his house. I hadn't meant to upset the swordsmen, but I couldn't exactly have avoided doing so without knowing. His anger at me, then, was completely irrational, I bitterly realized as I walked into my house.

Shaking my head, I opened the door to my room, throwing myself down on the bed. The dumb swordsman was getting all in a blood frenzy over nothing. So what if he couldn't read? I couldn't swim. What was his problem with that?

I couldn't help but notice that the more aggravated I got, the more turbulent my aura got, until it was practically flowing out of me. In fact… I was glowing a bright, neon green!

So…my aura's color was a faintly glowing shade of green. All demons had an aura-color; I had never known mine, though, since I couldn't use it. Without the ability to, I had never known the color. I was bright green…

My face cracked into a crooked grin, even as my ki quieted.

"I'm green! I'm green!" I yelled out, leaping into the air. I was rarely one for shows of emotion, but this was just incredible! I knew my own aura color. I knew my own aura color!

* * *

I think I went into a bit too much detail on the whole fang-thing, but I felt that I needed to show just how much fangs mattered to demons. Also, Touya's rather superstitious, in case you couldn't tell. Still, demons have different superstitions than humans do, as well as different sayings (such as 'getting all in a blood frenzy over nothing' as opposed to our 'getting all worked up over nothing'), so he can do whatever. I had someone worrying about the fact that Touya's aura is neon green and so was Karasu's, but I can guarantee you, I didn't make that up. Look at when he uses Shards of Winter. They're these glowing green spheres of his energy, so I figured that that's his aura color. 

Oh, and just to clarify, the reason why, in the dream, he capitalized the word 'death' sometimes and not others wasn't a mistake. Writing it as 'Death' is like saying 'The Grim Reaper'. He's thinking of the entity that would bring you to the afterlife. Writing it as 'death' is just the generic term as we usually use it. For the record, I have nothing at all against homosexuality, it's just that it was considered wrong in ancient times (except the Greeks, but wow...look at some of the other stuff they've done that was considered illegal in other countries back then), so I figured in the backwater parts of the Makai, it would be as well. Yes, some parts of Demon World, like Yomi's realm, have technology and are more tolerant of things others will not, but Touya's little village is a bit too removed for it. So, people there, so far from anything resembling technology, would also, logically, think more like those ancient people... Don't blame Touya or Shishi! Neither had much of an education. Well, sorry if I offended anyone. Anyway, thank you for reading! Happy birthday to me!


	5. Biting Reality

Okay... This may be a bit weird, but...well, whatever. Read! Please?

* * *

I grinned, jumping with joy. Even if it was unintentional, I had actually tapped into my aura! Sure, I had yet to find out exactly what I could _do_ with this, but I had done it! I had used my ki! 

I grabbed a small lynx doll that was sitting on my bed by the forepaws and danced in circles, that huge smile spread across my face. This was positively amazing, and I was flat-out ecstatic. Nothing short of sheer euphoria could cause me to act as I was now: completely psycho and practically bouncing off the walls with happiness. Yet that was how I was feeling. My aura was available to me!

That same green glow took over me and I couldn't help but revel in the ability to create such a thing. Carefully, I set the stuffed animal down, concentrating on the feeling. My whole body faintly crackled with energy, and I could feel myself trembling slightly. It was stunning, to feel all this power and know that I was the one who had created it. For once, I had done something right on my own.

My feeling of happiness was short lived. A bolt of green shot out of me, hitting the wall to my left, the one with my bookcase. Luckily, it missed said bookcase, so I didn't have to worry about my books being damaged by the energy blast. Instantly, on the spot it touched, it froze over, coated with ice. Small icicles hung down from the bottom, and I couldn't help but feel a bit dizzy. Yet another ray of light blasted forth from my ki, hitting the ceiling. It, too, was frozen in the spot the light touched. I was an ice apparition. Not only could I use my aura, but I was an ice apparition. For one of the first times in my life, I had no idea what to think or say or do. I was completely and totally thunderstruck.

This turned out to be a good thing, since the second I stopped thinking straight, my aura calmed down, the ice vanished, dripping into puddles on the floor. I fell to my knees, partly due to my sudden lack of energy due to aura I had expended, and partly due to my state of mind. I was so confused, overwhelmed by this. I was an ice demon and I could use my aura, even if I couldn't control it. My head spun. Pulling myself to my feet, I lay down on my bed, staring up at the powder blue ceiling.

_I'm me,_ I thought. _I always was, but before I wasn't quite sure who "me" was. Sure, I was Touya, but that wasn't much to work off of. But now… I'm Touya, the ice demon Touya, who can use his aura and is friends with Shishiwakamaru. That's me. Me, Touya!_

I was pleased with what I had discovered. "Touya" was more than just a name now. It was a short, sweet word that meant _me_, and nothing else. That small, lopsided smile of mine returned, as I started to nod off. Slinging around that much aura, plus the generic excitement of the day, had tired me out. I shut my eyes, pulling a light sheet over me, and started drifting off. My last thought before I went to sleep was dimly remembering that I was still wearing all my clothes…

* * *

I woke up quite a bit later, when the sun had almost vanished below the horizon. Blearily, I sat up and looked around. At first, I didn't feel any different at all. 

_It must have just been a dream,_ I thought. _Too bad… it really is. That was something I had cared about for quite a while…_

That was when I saw two small puddles on the ground, in the exact spots they had been earlier. It was all real!

Then I realized just how long I had been asleep. Even with the nightmare I had had that had limited my rest, I still shouldn't have slept for most of the day. My use of ki for the first time in my life must have virtually exhausted me, and I had barely tapped into a quarter of it, some inner sense told me. If it took half a day to partly replenish that little amount, then I should carefully watch how much I used. Any more than that could clear knock me out, and if I used it all up then I could spend days sleeping. It was clear that I had to monitor this as much as, if not more than, my physical energy, that which kept me on my feet and not panting for breath.

Yawning, I stretched, before running my fingers through the tangled mess that was my hair. Even my bangs were tousled and out of place, though they still hung around the generic vicinity of my left eye. I climbed out of bed, brushing the wrinkles out of my clothes, and headed for the hall. At this time of day, Tal would surely be working on clothes, so I wouldn't have to worry about waking him up.

I burst through the door into his workshop.

"Tal! Tal! I'm an ice demon! I'm an ice demon!" I exclaimed, tugging on his sleeve to get his attention.

The bat demon dropped the needle he was holding.

"An…ice demon? How do you know?" he finally asked, tawny brown hair hanging in his eyes.

"I tapped into my energy! I don't know how, but I used my aura! It felt incredible. All this energy, flowing through me and out of me and back into me and all over… It's insane, Tal! To feel my body crackling and glowing with energy that's mine, _mine_, Tal, mine! It's just…I can't describe it! It's flat-out exhilarating! And then there was ice all over the place. And then it stopped, and I felt kind of dizzy, then I felt like I needed to lie down, and then I fell asleep. But it really did happen! I promise you it did! And I'm neon green, Tal, that's my color! I'm green! Really!" I hurriedly rushed, saying it all in an incredibly short span of time.

"Um…yes?" he tried, putting on a sheepish smile.

"Could you show me?"

"I don't think I can," I admitted. "It was sort of an accident when I did it the first time, and I'm not sure how to do it again."

"Well…how did you do it the first time?" he asked.

"I was mad at Shishi," I confessed. "He was angry at me because something I had said had struck a nerve, but I hadn't known that since he hadn't told me, so he had kicked me out of his house. I was angry because I hadn't known and then… well, it just _happened_. I hadn't done anything yet other than tap into it, though, I hadn't frozen anything. Then I was so happy that I had that I was jumping up and down and everything…and then it happened again, only that time it actually froze things..."

"Your emotions, then," the bat demon murmured. "You have no control over it, but your emotions can get the better of you and activate it."

"So… if I so much as feel _anything_ then it'll happen?" I cautiously asked.

"I don't think so. I think it would have to be fairly intense emotion, and probably only for certain things."

"Thanks, Tal! I want to go tell Shishi, though! Bye!" I called out, running for the door.

"Be careful, then!" he yelled back.

"I will!"

I sprinted for the half-vampire's house, even though my energy wore out halfway through. After that, I walked, although even the long trip couldn't chase off the smile plastered across my face.

I found Shishi out back, training with his sword. At least he was dedicated to his hobbies.

"Shishi! Shishi! I'm an ice demon! I'm an ice demon!" I excitedly yelled, rushing up and hugging him from behind. I briefly wondered if it was even me doing all this, since I would usually never act this way. I then realized that no one but me would ac this strongly to what I had learned, so that I was completely in charge of my own actions.

He spun around, startled, dropping his sword. The sudden movement knocked me over, and the sheer ecstatic state I had been in was replaced with that two-second fear that was felt when one tripped or accidentally stepped on a stair step two lower then oneself instead of only one. That was when I hit the ground hard, a small rock cutting into my arm. I bit back a cry of pain, warm blood trickling down my arm.

"I'm sorry!" he gasped, helping me to my feet. "You surprised me, Blue. I didn't mean to!"

"Yeah…it's okay," I said, turning my arm over so I could see the cut. It wasn't very large, nor was it particularly painful; it still stung, though, and it was bleeding profusely.

"Are you okay?" he asked, upon seeing the splash of red on my pale skin. "That looks pretty bad- Oh," he sighed, a look that reminded me of a drunk spreading over his face. I did not like the look of this. The aspiring swordsman shuddered once, that intoxicated expression not so much as wavering, and I took a step back.

"S-Shishi? What's wrong?" I tentatively whispered. Some inner instinct or something told me that this was not the best place to be right now.

All of the sudden, he changed, shapeshifting into his halfway form, complete with horns and fangs. The youkai darted forward in the same instant, grabbing me by the shoulder. With the other hand, he snatched up my bloody arm, pulling it up to eye level. My body started to shake with fear.

That was when Shishi, my best friend in all the three worlds, started licking my wound. I was stupefied, frozen in place. After he had lapped up the blood, he pulled me to him. With his greater size and strength, coupled with the fact that I wasn't expecting it, I couldn't pull away. Those fangs of his sunk into the left side of my neck, and blood poured from the wound, leaving trails of red all down my neck. Shishi was biting me like a true vampire would. I thrashed, screaming in pain, as he licked at the red that leaked out of the puncture wounds.

Suddenly, I could feel his whole body stiffen. The fangs vanished as quickly as they had come, and the demon stumbled back, a horrified look on his face. Without his body for support, I fell to my knees. Numbly, I clasped a hand to my neck in an attempt to staunch the bleeding, eyes still fixed on the swordsman, as if he could explain what had just occurred and fix it. My mind still hadn't quite figured out what had happened.

"Oh no…oh no, no, no…" Shishi murmured, eyes flitting between the blood on his hands and the bite mark on my neck. Dimly, I saw him spit on the grass, the saliva a dark red. "How could I have done this? Blue…Touya…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"

I pulled myself to my feet, wiping some of the blood on my fingers off on my pants. I tried to take a step forward, but my legs were frozen into place. I was truly horrified. My neck hurt badly, and the sight of the blood staining the inside of Shishi's mouth was enough to insist that I keep my distance.

"I'm so, so, so sorry…" he apologized, repeating it over and over like a mantra. "I'm so sorry… I never meant to do that. No! Please… just back away from me…" he urged. "I'm not sure I can control myself… That scent, of warm, fresh, delicious blood… NO! I can't! No… Just please…leave me alone," he whimpered. I was shocked to hear such a pained sound coming from Shishi, strong that he was. "I'll just bite you again… It's these damned vampire instincts… Blood sets me off, especially if it's so close, and as fresh, enticing, wonderful-smelling as yours… Oh…tempting, mouth-watering blood…"

That dazed, drunken expression returned to his face. That was warning enough, and I turned tail and bolted. Forget telling him about my aura! In this state of mind, all it would amount to would be the same as walking into the Crescent Moon Forest while carrying valuables in plain sight: injury, if not death. I was sure that Shishi would never intentionally hurt me, but the fact was that he wasn't _intentionally_ doing so. He had about as much control over himself as a demon that was completely smashed out of his mind did.

Adrenaline fueled my flight, and I found myself back at my house before I even knew where I was going. Out of breath, I opened the front door.

"Tal…I'm back," I weakly called out, heading for the washroom.

"Touya? What's wrong, Touya?" he asked. I could hear him sliding his chair out, and he started to walk down the hall.

For once, I didn't want to tell Tal what had happened. I didn't want him worrying about me every time I was near Shishi, didn't want him forbidding me from seeing my best friend again. This was more than just a wound. This could potentially be that which makes his parents and my guardian prevent us from going near each other. Shishi was my only comrade in all the three worlds. I wasn't sure what I'd do without him. Certainly not go back to the lonely, pitiful, bullied existence I had had before meeting the half-bird.

"Nothing," I replied, keeping my voice level as I padded into the washroom. I felt completely drained, probably from blood loss as well as my sprint. It was all I could do to remain standing. I had only seconds to wash the blood off of my neck before the bat demon came to see what was wrong. "I'm just cleaning out a small cut. I tripped and cut my arm on a rock."

I could almost hear the demon frowning.

"I'd still like a look at it."

Gulping, I splashed water over the bite, hastily drying it off with my sleeve. I turned my body half to the side, so as to hide the wound, and proceed to carefully wash out the cut. I felt bad, lying to Tal like that, but if my friendship was on the line, then this guilt was a small price to pay.

The bat demon stood in the doorway.

"I'd like to see that," he quietly said.

I nodded, handing him my wrist.

"No, not that one. You sounded weak, hurt. Show me what else happened to you," he commanded.

I whimpered softly, shrinking back. It felt awful, to have Tal be mad at me, and I instantly felt ashamed for lying. At that point, with no reason anymore to hide my lack of energy, I gave into the inevitable. I collapsed.

Startled, Tal barely reacted fast enough to catch me under the arms, holding me up.  
"Tal, please promise me you won't be mad at him!" I pleaded, looking up at him.  
"Mad at_ who_, and for_ what_?" he asked.  
"Shishi," I replied. "It wasn't his fault!"  
"_What_ wasn't his fault?" Tal pressed. He would have been exasperated were it not for how worried he was.  
"Promise me you won't be mad at him first."  
Tal sighed.  
"Fine. I promise that I won't be mad at Shishi. Now could you please show me why I would have been mad in the first place?

I moved my hand away from the wound, my fingers gummed together with blood. All I could hope for was understanding, or forgiveness, for my only friend. I was certain that the bat youkai would be mad at him, despite his promise. If I had a bit more strength left, I would have cringed back. It all hinged on his reaction.

Tal's eyes widened, and he gasped.  
"Oh, Touya… This is awful," he murmured, grabbing the washcloth off the edge of the basin. "This may sting a little."

He dipped it into the water and began dabbing at the blood. I winced, but didn't say anything. So far, he seemed far more worried about me than he was upset at the half-bird apparition. I felt relieved, for the moment, anyway, and decided to just stay put and stay quiet.

"Tell me exactly what happened," he calmly said. "Then I'll judge whether or not Shishi was at fault here."  
I told him the whole story, from when I hugged my friend from behind to when I ran away in fear. What else could I have done? If I lied, not only would I feel even worse, but I could also get Shishi in even more trouble by accident. I was nervous, and wouldn't make eye contact with him.

"So all this time you've been friends with a half_ vampire_? Are you out of your mind?" he yelled. I shrank back, pulling away from him weakly. Tal's grip was too strong, though. His furious reaction was not one I was used to, nor one I could easily deal with. I felt my eyes misting up a little. "Don't you know how dangerous they are? You're lucky that he managed to control himself at all! You could be dead right now! Stupid, stupid boy!"

I started to cry right then. Shishi had –intentionally or not- hurt me, and now Tal was yelling at me. I was sad, and annoyed, but most of all confused. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. I still half-expected myself to wake up and get out of this crazy dream, even if I knew it was reality.

"He didn't mean to!" I sobbed. "He's my only f-friend, and he didn't mean to. He wouldn't ever h-hurt me on purpose. He wouldn't!"

The bat demon seemed taken aback by this. His irate expression melted into one of regret and sympathy. He kneeled down, placing his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Touya," he soothed, wiping the tears off of my cheeks. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was worried, that's all. Vampires are_ very_ dangerous creatures. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

I sniffled, bowing my head.  
"Am I really s-stupid?" I asked.  
"Of course not. I didn't mean that at all. Sh… It's okay, Touya. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Why don't we get that bandaged up?"

I nodded, starting to stand up, but Tal stopped me, instead scooping me up. What with my small body, I was easy for him to carry, so I had gotten used to being picked up, despite how undignified it might have seemed. He carried me over to my room, where he set me down on the bed. The older demon stepped out of the room, returning seconds later with a roll of bandages. Carefully, he wrapped them around the still-bleeding puncture wound.

"I'd advise you not to see Shishi for a little while," he gently said. "Not until that's healed more, at the very least."

I wasn't going to object to that, so long as I_ could_ see him sometime. I wasn't quite ready for the swordsman anyway. I was still partly in shock over what had happened and I didn't want or need Shishi here right now.

Tal nodded, and left to let me get some rest. Enma knows, I needed it.

I sighed, irritably throwing the lynx doll against the opposite wall.  
"This isn't right," I muttered. "How was I supposed to know that my friend would go psycho and bite me? How was I supposed to deal with this?"

I sighed again, the words of one of my favorite authors coming to mind.  
_ Reacting to something and coping with something are two different things. If you react but do not cope, then you may have avoided trouble but you will feel hollow. If you cope but do not react, then no matter how you feel about it, you could be dead. Therefore, you must do neither alone, but both together, for without one, the other is nothing._

* * *

Please don't kill me. Please...review? Okay... yeah. No big long author's note this time. I'll just shut up now._  
_


	6. Thrill

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE'RE OUT OF DONUTS??? Oh, the chapter's started? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE CHAPTER'S STARTED??? Sheesh, you're supposed to warn me! -sigh- I guess that's why we don't let parakeets be secretaries... -smiles- Hello, everyone, and welcome to chapter six of Ice Freezes! Well...I dunno, everything I have to say is in the _other_ author's note, so I suppose you'll have to read to find out. Yup! Aren't I clever! ... Shut up, Peeper! It is too clever! Dumb parakeet... Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to all of you who think that Touya shouldn't always be the one needing comfort and solace. Now...on to the story!

* * *

After sleeping the day away, I felt much better. I was mildly irritated at Shishi; after all, he had not only hurt me, but he had gone so far as to _drink my blood. _It was something that, if he had been in his right mind, he would never have done. Sharing blood was only for lovers and the storybooks, after all. I was, therefore, feeling quite violated. Every time I thought of the feeling of his fangs in my flesh, I felt disgusted. It turned my stomach, even if I had been too shocked when it actually happened to react. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him, though. It hadn't really been his fault. 

Still, I felt like I needed to see Shishi, to talk it over with him. He was probably feeling like dirt right now, and he would want me there to help him. I, too, needed his support. There was no way we could get over this without each other's help. The problem was Tal was far too worried to let me out of the house. I didn't see why; my blood had already clotted, and a scab was already forming. By my logic, nothing would be wrong with going to see Shishi. Tal insisted that something bad would happen to me, though. He said that the swordsman might still be put into the same frenzy the scent of my blood had put him in. It wasn't in my nature to argue, so I quietly submitted to the isolation.

Bitterly, I knew that if I had fought back, I would only have been put in my place. I was growing annoyed with the bat demon. I didn't like the fact that he was so quick to categorize Shishi as a vicious demon killer, nor did I like the fact that he was so certain that the youkai would repeat the offense again. In fact, Tal seemed to say that Shishi _willingly_ took a chunk out of me. Maybe it was these discontent thoughts, maybe it was the wound, or maybe it was the knowledge that I had already went against Tal's authority and hadn't been killed because of it, but I was feeling ready to ignore what he had said and sneak out to see the half-bird apparition. Luckily, the bat was under no circumstances prepared for my decision. I had been, and probably always would be, a perfect rule-abider. Therefore, to him, going against the rules that had been laid down would not happen, not by me, at least.

A slight smile, crooked as always, spread across my face, although it vanished seconds later. What had happened to my honor if I would break the rules? I hesitated, staring nervously at the front door, as though the second I opened it someone would move my name to the list of those who would go to Limbo. Not for the first time, I wondered if I would already go there, based simply on my species of birth. Demons were, after all, called the damned beings, those who had done such horrible things in past lives that they had been reincarnated as such creatures. I hoped desperately that that was not true, reassured myself that I would not have done something that awful in a past life. The thought was still daunting.

No, I assured myself, nothing like that is true. I'm _not_ a damned being, I'm _not_ here as punishment, and I'm _not_ going to get sent to Limbo just for breaking one tiny rule. That would be silly. No one is perfect, and I'm far from it, so crossing the line just this once wouldn't matter, right?

Just to be sure, I quickly drew the fangs sign in the air, prayed to Enma for good luck, and opened the door. Taking one last look behind me, I stole into the night, following the same path I had tread on many times before. In fact, even with the moonlight shining and the sky a deep blood red, as it never was during the day, I hardly noticed it at all. The usual crack of lightning briefly lit up the sky every now and then, but that was as common an occurrence in the Makai as the chattering of nocturnal insects. It was almost automatic for me. Turn left at Juro the Baker's house, walk for a couple dozen paces, turn right at the cluster of trees, head through the town square, turn to the right at the first crossroads, head across the field with the long grass that always tickled me, and it was the only house out there. Something that routine isn't all that special after going over it so many times.

Quietly, so I wouldn't alarm him or his parents, I stepped through the field Shishi always trained in. In fact, the same two dummies he had been using earlier in the day were still there. I had to jump over the remnants of a third, the twigs it was made of snagging at the hem of my pants. To get to Shishi's room, I had to weave through a small copse of trees that bordered the field, and there it was. My friend's window was shut, as would be expected. Carefully, I squirmed in between a few decorative bushes, and peered in, although I knew I shouldn't have been doing so.

He was lying on his back on his bed, dully staring up at the stark white ceiling. The swordsman was awake, but he didn't seem to be responsive or content at all. The glazed over look in his eyes wasn't my only clue; the fact that he was sitting inside, doing absolutely nothing, while still awake was a dead giveaway. I'd never seen him acting like this before. His sword was propped up against the wall, a cleaning cloth on the floor next to it. I assumed he had been polishing his most prized possession to try and take his mind off things. It looked like that hadn't been the only thing he had been cleaning. For one of the first times ever, his room was tidy. No spare outfits lay scattered across the floor; his chess set was sitting neatly on one of his shelves; even Shishi's collection of pebbles, bird's feathers, and other random trinkets had been organized.

Tentatively, I reached out and tapped on the glass, which I noted was as spotless as everything else. If he hadn't been lying down, I was sure he would have jumped several feet in the air. As it was, Shishi twitched, sitting up, and looking over, his right hand habitually straying to his left hip. The look he had on as he saw me was one of mixed self-loathing, sorrow, fear, and pain, and it was almost enough to break my heart. It hurt me, to see that expression on Shishi's, strong Shishi's, face. I was even more worried for him/

Although I couldn't hear him very well through the glass, it seemed to me like he had mouthed "Blue?" I nodded, gesturing for him to come over to the window.

He shook his head, moving over to the corner farthest from me, despite the fact that there was already a wooden chair there. I frowned, motioning for him to come here again. The half-bird apparition looked to be in bad shape, and I wanted to help him.

Shishi shut his lavender eyes, turning away from me, a look of shame on his face. It was then that I realized that he _didn't _want to see me, that he was just as afraid of biting me again as Tal was of him doing so. I pounded on the glass, staring at him with pleading eyes.

He took one look at my face, and his will crumbled. Shishi paced over to the window, unhooking the latch and opening the window.

"Shishi, please come out here," I begged.

"I can't, I'm just going to hurt you again," he whimpered, looking at me with hurt eyes. I had never seen Shishi so weak, so vulnerable, as he was right then. He had always been the strong one out of the two of us, the one I could always turn to for my worries and troubles. Now, though, it was my turn to help him. Enma knows, he needed all the help he could get.

"It's okay," I murmured, trying my best to console him.

He hung his head.  
"It's not."

"Just…come out here, okay? Please, for me," I pleaded.

He looked hesitant before slowly, unsurely, nodding. With a quick flare of his aura, he shifted into his owl-like imp form, hopping up on the windowsill. I backed up slightly, trying not to trip over the hedges, offering up my arm as a perch. Shishi shook his head, instead opting to remain on the ledge.

I grabbed him around the middle, trying to be gentle, but I was fairly sure that it felt like he was being youkaihandled. Mindful of his small, fragile bones, I hugged the miniature apparition to me, trying to reassure him that it was okay. I could feel him stiffen, his diminutive body rigid, before he relaxed, even going so far as to bury his horned head in my chest.

"I'm not going anywhere, Shishi. We're in this together, remember? I'm not going anywhere, and it's going to be okay. Look, you didn't mean to hurt me, and you couldn't help it. That wasn't your fault, Shishi. I swear that I'm not mad at you one bit. You couldn't have stopped yourself any sooner than you did. We all have faults. After all, we're only demon," I whispered, trying to comfort the visibly shaken demon.

"Yeah…I guess you're right," he murmured, words muffled by my shirt. "Could you set me down, Blue?"

I shuffled back even more, leaving Shishi room to stand without setting him on the hedge, and backed up farther. After all, I didn't want to get knocked flat on my back, as would surely happen if he shapeshifted in such close proximity to me. His owlish form flickered once, and in its place was his usual form.

"Thanks, Blue," he softly said, running his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, as I had noticed he did when nervous. "Oh, and by the way, if I ever try to bite you again… I give you permission to hit me 'below the belt', okay? I'd deserve it."

I nodded, smiling slightly, and my gaze fell back to my feet, per usual. There was something about eye contact that irritated me. To my shock, I felt Shishi's fingers, for some reason unnaturally warm against my skin, under my chin, and he tipped my head back so I was looking him in the eyes.

"Would you cut that out? I don't get why you won't look at me," he said, dropping his hand to his side.

"Habit, I guess. I don't really make eye contact with anyone," I admitted.

"Eh, whatever. As long as it isn't just me. By the way, Blue, is it just me, or is your skin kinda cold?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

Blinking in confusion, I touched my arm with one finger.

"It doesn't feel any different to me," I replied, confused.

He frowned.

"Do you mind…?" he started.

I shook my head. The indigo-haired youkai set his hand on my arm, and I stared at him expectantly. Now that he mentioned it, he _did_ feel a bit warmer than usual, but I had assumed that that was him, not me. Shishi scowled, pulling his hand away.

"Yeah, it's definitely cooler than usual," he said at last.

_What's wrong with me?_ I thought. _ Wait a minute… I highly doubt that it's a coincidence that the day after I start using these weird ice powers, my skin feels cool to the touch. It _has_ to be because of my aura! _

"I…think it's because I'm an ice demon."

Shishi's mouth hung open, eyes wide. If I had wanted to, I could quite probably have pushed him over right then.

"And…you never saw fit to tell me this?" he managed to say, staring.

I was about to tell him that I _had_, it had just been before he sank his fangs into me, but I caught myself. Making him feel any guiltier would not be a good move.

"I only just found out myself. Remember when my aura was acting up? Well, once I got home, I was feeling a bit mad at you because you overreacted to telling me about your…um, inability to read… and then I started glowing bright green. That was when I started grinning and dancing around like a madyoukai, then things just started to freeze. I guess my aura lowered my body temperature as well," I explained.

"Well, hell, I didn't realize that you were _that_ weird! By the way, did you know that whenever the light hits your eyes, they gleam, kind of like a cat's?"

"No… Does that always happen?"

"Only when it's all dark out."

I chortled, that small smile returning to my face.

"What's so funny?" he demanded.

"I can see in infravision," I told him, laughing all the harder. "I suppose, then, that that changes the reflective qualities of my eyes."

"You keep a _lot_ of secrets, Blue. What's next? Am I going to find out that you're a girl or something?" he asked. "Kidding, I was kidding," he added, seeing my annoyed expression.

"Nothing else that I can think of…" I responded. "Um… I can't swim? Does that count?"

"Eh, me neither, but I can fly, so who really cares?"

I shrugged.

"Well… I guess I'd better get back before Tal finds out I'm gone," I murmured.

"Okay… hey, wait a minute. _You_ snuck out of your house to see me? Are my ears not working of something? You're, like, perfectly rule-following."

"I thought you needed some company… But, you're right, I guess I did. Still, I need to get out of here, fast, before he catches me. You should have seen how mad he was when I tried to lie to cover up for the bite… He was furious. Of course, when I kind of collapsed on him, he found out pretty quickly. Well, bye Shishi!"

"You covered up for me? Sweet! You rule, Blue! G'bye!"

I made it to my house, slipped through the front door, and darted into my room, feeling glad that both Tal's room and workshop were farther down the hall. Picking up one of my books, I sat down in my armchair and started reading.

My heart raced, and it wasn't strictly because of my short sprint on the way back home. No, the thrill of bending the rules and escaping, the feeling of danger, stirred me. I knew I must have seemed half mad for actually _liking_ that sensation, but it was invigorating. Sure, Shishi liked streaking towards the ground on the back of a giant eagle, but this…this was something else.

After five minutes or so, Tal popped in, checking up on me, as he had been doing almost constantly since Shishi had bitten me.

"Touya? Are you all right?" he asked.

I nodded, trying to look too caught up in the book to be able to focus much on him.

"Well, okay. Do you need your bandages changed? Would you-" he began, stopping abruptly to sniff the air. "Something smells off… Kind of like lemon and cedar tinged with a bit of copper… Wait… lemon and copper? Touya…you have some explaining to do."

I gulped. All the thrill and exhilaration was gone, and breaking the rules didn't seem quite so much fun anymore.

"I had to see him," I protested, voice a bit shaky. "He was so angry with himself, and he seemed so hurt. He _whimpered_, Tal! Shishi actually _whimpered_. Please understand!"

He remained silent for a bit.

"Fine, Touya. I see. I was worried for you, that's all. If something happened to you, I don't know what I'd do. Just…please be careful around him, okay? No matter what his intentions are, you saw what happened the first time."

I nodded, tentatively smiling.

"I'm sorry about breaking the rules," I murmured. "I… I just needed to see him so badly… I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. I don't think it would be fair to punish you after that nasty bite. Don't do it again, okay?"

I nodded again, telling the part of my mind that thought that it would be fun to break the rules to shut up. He smiled at me, before turning and walking away, wings wrapped around him to help ward off the winter chill. Actually, now that I thought about it, it didn't seem cold at all. Well, no, that wasn't right. I could _feel_ the cold; it didn't bother me, though… I shook my head. Suddenly gaining all these unusual traits was confusing. I mean, my blood temperature has dropped, the cold doesn't affect me, I can freeze things… It made me wonder what would be next. Would my breath freeze when I breathed out?

Shaking my head, I turned back to my book. Life was just too weird…

* * *

Wow. I think I did a good job on that (I really tried not to make Tal too much of an asshole, but it was hard!), but I need reviews to tell me for certain! Yes, I am nothing without you, reviewers! I tried to throw in a bit of humor to counteract the serious moment, but I'm not sure it worked... This chapter was a little shorter than the others, but I thought that it needed to be ended there, so, meh. For the record, I don't know too much about the Makai, so please attempt to forgive any inconsistencies, as well as pointing them out. Yes, Sora Sotara. Thanks for being the one to point out a few Makai mistakes! Oh, as for the scent-thing, Shishi's half bird, half vampire, right? So... Well, blood smells rather coppery, so...yeah, and my pet bird, Peeper, smells rather lemon-y, so I figured that works as well as anything else. The ceder is because Touya was running around in the forest! 


	7. The Weight Of Worth

Yes, it's chapter seven. This one's a bit morbid, with a whiny Touya. Don't worry, though, he's a teenager, and, like all of us out there, he sometimes thinks lowly of himself. It's not too extreme, I hope, but he's upset. Shishi, as always, is touchy and Shishi-ish. Hey... 'ish' is just 'Shi' with the 'i' moved. -grins- Heh...Shishi is Shishi-ish. Sorry if I found that too amusing. Well, in this chapter, we'll find out why Shishi's bangs can do that! Nope, the answer isn't just 'he's an anime character'. I have a reason! Woot!

* * *

After a few hours of reading, I fell asleep, even though I wasn't tired. I knew that letting myself stay up all night wasn't good for my body, and I also didn't want to develop nocturnal habits. That would be utterly pointless. I had tasks and chores to do during the day, and there was always Shishi, too. 

Yawning, I sat up, finding the heat of so many blankets acting to dull my senses and leave me sleepier than ever. Still, it made me slow, sluggish, and I was heavily tempted to turn right around and go back to sleep, never mind that the sun was already up! Shaking my head, I pulled myself out of bed, walking over to my dresser. I pulled off my light pajamas, and changed into regular clothes; a dark green, short-sleeved shirt and a pair of black shorts were fine by me. Stretching, I headed into the kitchen area, grabbing a quick breakfast, before heading out to see Shishi again.

I never even made it to his house. Even before I reached the town square, the other kids flocked to me, like crows mobbing an owl. Terrified, I bolted, but they, like the wolves of the darker forest regions, had excellent teamwork, and I was backed against a wall within minutes. Brick, heated by the sun, radiated warmth, and its solidity assured me that I would not be able to escape. My throat felt dry.

"Well, well, it looks like Girly is all alone. Where's your swordsman?"

"Shishi is probably at his house," I answered, trying to keep a level voice, and also attempting to ignore the fact that he had said 'your' swordsman. As if Shishi could be controlled by anyone. He was as free as the bird demon half of his heritage was named for, yet if someone tried to force him to do anything, he could fight like a dragon. That was a lesson the bullies had been taught when they tried to attack me while in the company of Shishi.

"So, what's he doing? Probably cheating on you with some other guy, huh? I really am surprised at him. I wouldn't think that anyone would want to be around a feminine wuss like you," the leader sneered. "So, does he help you do your hair or do you do his? I bet you even share his bed sometimes. It's absolutely sickening, the two of you."

"Don't insult Shishi like that," I whispered. Despite what thing he had just said of me, it was his words against Shishi that bothered me.

"What was that?"

"Don't insult Shishi," I repeated, voice gaining volume.

"I can if I feel like. You forget who the top demon around here is," he snarled.

I bristled with anger. I was acting far from the norm, though. Perhaps it had taken the insults at my friend to set me off, and that all the years of mistreatment were finally adding up. It didn't really matter. I had already out stepped my bounds by far, and it was definitely too late to back down.

"I think you earned that title by bullying kids younger and weaker than you. If you fought someone your own age, then I doubt you'd be so confident," I replied.

Some of his gang members stared, shocked that I would dare say such things against their leader. He scowled, lizard tail swishing from side to side, a sign that he was furious at me.

"I've beaten down every kid in his town, and a disgusting half-breed like you isn't going to change a thing," he growled.

I reeled as if struck. He had just called me a half-breed. Such an insult could not be taken lightly, and it had about as much effect on me as a physical blow would.

While I was still stunned, he lunged forward, punching me in the stomach. I gasped in pain, doubling over. Still, though, I was _not_ going to put up with this anymore. Weakly, I straightened up, determined to at least fight back. When he tried to hit me again, I leaped back, using my speed and small size to my advantage. There was no time for a counterattack, though, and I had to dance and weave out of the way. Despite how I _should_ have been feeling, I wasn't too terribly afraid or nervous. I was a bit frightened, but nothing that affected my ability to dodge. Most of all, I was angry.

Suddenly, my entire body was suffused with a green glow. The leader pulled back, unsure. I could feel my aura surrounding me, trying its best to comfort its owner. I half-grinned, although it seemed more like a grimace to me, and the frigid energy around me quivered slightly, as though it was eager to fight.

"Hey, what's happenin' to his energy?" one of the group asked.

"I don't know, but no fancy light show is going to stop me!" the first growled.

With that comment, he rushed forward, just as my aura struck. The area surrounding me froze solid, ice spreading out in a sphere around me, not caring who or what it froze. About eight paces away, the ice stopped. Everything contained within the globe had been struck by premature winter, slick ice covering everything. Small icicles hung from the roofs of the buildings on either side of us, the wood of one of the houses groaning in protest at the newly added weight. A rain barrel off to the side was tipped over as one of the gang members ran, but not a drop spilled out of it, its contents as cold and frozen as the rest of the area around me.

"This ain't right!" another yelped, fleeing. Only two steadfast youkai remained despite the cold.

"What the hell did he do?" the boss asked, bewildered.

"I'm an ice youkai, and this is just the beginning," I bluffed, putting on what I hoped looked like a malicious grin. "You've heard of the power a blizzard has. Would you like to see that?" I asked, trying to feed a bit more of my energy into the ice.

My emerald-colored aura flared, and whether it was because of my intentions or not, the effect was the same. The other two exchanged glances and bolted, not willing to face the full power of an ice warrior…which I most certainly was not. All I could do was freeze a few things, and I had no real control over that.

Unfortunately, I had expended far more aura than I had intended. I was exhausted to the point that I couldn't even remain standing on my own. I weakly leaned against the wall I had been backed up against, barely able to stay awake. My eyelids felt heavy, and, unable to struggle against it any longer, I slumped to the ground, falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

Slowly, I woke up, to find myself lying on cold, hard stone. Blearily, I sat up, looking around. My neck had a painful crook in it, and I stretched. It was then that I realized that I felt oddly empty. Staring at my hands, as though they would have the answer, I thought. What was I doing here? Why wasn't I sleeping in my own bed? Blinking, I looked around, before it all came back to me. The fight. The ice. My aura. I had used it up, and, as a consequence, had spent the day sleeping in an alleyway. My brow furrowed with puzzlement. Why hadn't anyone found me? 

Then it hit me. It was because no one had realized that something had gone wrong. Tal had seen me leave, so he thought that I was at Shishi's. Shishi, on the other claw, didn't know that I had gone, so he wasn't expecting me. Therefore, I was considered missing by neither, so when I had passed out in the middle of this alley, no one noticed I was gone.

My head hurt, too, and I groaned. I was physically fine from my long sleep, but my aura had been almost completely drained. Ignoring my weariness, I pulled myself to my feet, eyes still heavy-lidded. Yawning, I turned around and went home. Sadly, I didn't even make it. With my foggy mind, I wasn't quite sure where I was going, and I ended up at Shishi's house instead. Confused, I looked around, wondering how I had gotten here instead. Mentally shrugging, I knocked on the door, leaning against the door to help keep myself standing. The walk, even as short as it was, had drained me.

No one answered. I repeated my knock, hoping someone would hear me.

After a bit, the door opened, revealing a tired-looking Shishi.

I stumbled forward, ending up falling onto him. Even if my weight wouldn't usually be enough to knock him over, he was surprised. The half-vampire demon fell back, and, without anything to catch me, I fell forward. We both hit the ground, although I'm sure that he was hurt more than I was. After all, he didn't have a relatively soft body for him to land on to help break the fall. Plus, he hit the floor _and_ was promptly squished by a small ice demon.

"What the hell?" he choked out.

"Sorry," I mumbled, using the doorframe to help me to pull myself to my feet. I was starting to appreciate that doorframe.

"What the hell?" he repeated, also standing up. He wore his hair down, for once, instead of in that ponytail he usually used, and it was ruffled, mussed up. I realized that he must have just gotten up. In fact…he was wearing nothing but his boxers! My hazy mind realized that something was missing here, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"That's great for you, but the sun's been down for hours, Blue. Why in the Makai are you here?"

"I…don't really know. I fell unconscious in one of the alleys, and I only just woke up. I came to your house because…I don't know. I can't really think straight right now…" I murmured.

He arched an eyebrow.

"Great, great. Well, you can sleep on the floor, I suppose. It's not like you haven't done that before."

It was true. Whenever I slept at Shishi's house, we'd get out some spare blankets and a pillow and I'd sleep on the floor in a makeshift bedroll. I slowly nodded, following after him. When we reached his room, I sat down, leaning against the wall. By Enma, I was tired! He smiled, before leaving to get blankets.

He returned seconds later, laying the comforters and such out on the floor, before curling up in the middle of it all. I blinked in confusion, staring.

"But…wasn't that supposed to be for me?"

"Take the bed. You deserve it," he said, looking me up and down. He could quite probably sense my lack of aura, and the glazed look in my eyes was enough to make him believe that I was seriously hurt.

"Thanks," I murmured, before collapsing on the bed. I was asleep mere seconds later.

* * *

My eyes flickered open. The snow white ceiling of Shishi's room was the first thing I saw. Groggily, I sat up, feeling ravenously hungry. It felt like I hadn't eaten in days… Trying to think with my mind, not my stomach, I figured that it would be a good idea to find out what had happened. I looked around, curious, as my stomach growled again. 

"Blue? Blue! Thank Enma you're awake!" Shishi exclaimed, rushing over to me from the chair in the corner.

I blinked.

"Why? I was just asleep," I said.

"Yeah, asleep for almost a week!" he added, a slightly pained tone in his voice. He seemed incredibly worried for me. "When you didn't wake up, I got Tal over here immediately. We didn't want to move you in case your were, like, internally bleeding or something. It was like one of those chimera tales, you know? The one where the youkai was cursed and couldn't wake up until the one who cursed him had been slain? Only…you weren't cursed, and there wasn't anyone in need of killing."

"I was asleep…for a week? That would explain why I'm so hungry," I murmured.

"I'll go get you something to eat. Don't move around or anything," he ordered, lavender eyes wide with concern.

I slowly nodded, and he dashed off.

"So…I was right. The use of that much aura knocked me out for days. I couldn't make it stop, though! I didn't know how to. I don't know how to. What am I supposed to do? If I get angry again, I could easily repeat this incident. Why? Why can't I control this? What is wrong with me?" I wondered, berating myself. "I was stupid to have let myself get mad, because I _knew_ what would happen. But no, I just _had_ to let myself use this…this…freakish power! All I could think about was getting away from those bullies, never about the consequences of doing so!"

"I'm a freak, aren't I?" I asked, thinking aloud, staring up at the plain ceiling. "I'm an ice demon right near Gandara, for starters. I'm over a month's worth of walking away from what's supposed to be my homeland. My eyes are the eyes of some kind of beast, a dragon, perhaps. Yes…I have a dragon's eyes; nasty, horrendous, pupil-less eyes, ones that belong to a monster, or a freak! A freak like me! My hair is bi-colored, I don't have any fangs, and I look like a goddamned half-breed!" I swore. Tal had always told me how wrong it was to swear, so I always kept my tongue in check. Now, though, I didn't care. It felt good to swear, made me feel a bit better, even if it was bitter happiness. I still looked like a dragon-eyed human-kin, and nothing would change that.

I was overcome by a fit of emotion, tears rolling down my face. Sobs wracked my thin form. Somewhere, dimly, a part of me argued that I'd only tap into my aura again, but I didn't really care. So what if I fell asleep again? So what if I starved to death? That was what a freak deserved, right? I was half-willing to let myself die right then, or to kill myself if that didn't work, but then Shishi walked in, seeing me enveloped in a neon green glow.

"Hey, Blue, you can't do that! You'll only hurt yourself again! Calm down, Blue, calm down. B-blue! Please, stop this!" he pleaded.

It was then that I snapped out of my depressed reverie, thinking straight. I shut those eyes of mine, trying to clear my head. Failing that, I tried to think of happier moments. Yes… that would work, I told myself.

_"Hey, Blue!" he yelled._

_I turned around to see what he wanted, only to find myself on my back on the ground, stunned. Shishi had tackled me to the floor, grinning ear to ear, that mischievous glint in his eyes that I had come to like so much. After a minute of struggling in this play-fight, I had still gotten nowhere._

_"Shishi, could you please get off of me? You're kind of heavy!"_

_"Are you calling me fat?" he asked, mock-pouting._

_"No, I'm just wondering if it would hurt to lose some!" I jokingly asked._

_"You are! You're calling me fat!" he exclaimed._

_"Am not!"_

_"Are too!"_

_"Am not!"  
"Are too!"_

_"Well…okay, I was! Now please get off of me!"_

_"Humph. No," he sulked._

_"Come on, Fatso, get off!" I teased._

_Smiling in that impish way of his, he stood up, only to pounce on me when I tried to move._

_"I'll show you fat, He of No Smiles!"_

_With an audible 'OOF!' I had hit the ground._

_"I give! I give!" I called out, trying to get out from under him._

_Grinning, he stood up, offering me his hand. I reached out to take it, and he pulled it back. Jokingly scowling, I stood up._

_"We're friends forever, aren't we?" he solemnly asked._

_"Forever and ever," I promised._

_We had both grinned, and then shared a rare hug._

A small smile spread over my lips, and I could feel my aura absorb into my body, unspent. Simply tapping into it did nothing. I had to actually do something with it to waste it.

"I-I think I'm okay, Shishi," I murmured, slightly smiling and my face still wet from tears.

"What was _wrong_ with you? I heard you yelling at yourself, saying some things that aren't true, and then I come in and you're crying and your aura's all fired up!" he asked.

"I…I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I mumbled, staring at the ground.

"Sorry isn't good enough, Blue! I really want an explanation! I want to know, because you looked so damn depressed!"

I shrunk back, drawing my knees up to my chest, arms hanging limply at my sides.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was angry, sad… It was all _my_ fault that you were that worried! I made you and Tal worry and grieve over me, and it was all because I was too stupid to have run instead of standing up and trying to fight off those bullies. I felt like I was worthless, a freak, stuck way out here when my real home was somewhere in hell. Except this damn town is about as close to hell as you can get without dying… I'm just a goddamned freak, Shishi. I don't deserve to be your friend…"

He dashed forward, moving far quicker than I thought he could, halting beside the bed. An expression of utter anger dominating his usual relaxed face, he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me up until I was at eye level with him.

"I don't _ever_ want to hear you say anything like that again, or I swear on my sword that I'll take you to hell myself," he growled, horns out in full flower. "Don't you dare go into that whole self-loathing crap. I want you to promise me that you won't even try to harm yourself at all. C'mon, Blue!" he yelled, shaking me.

"I promise! I promise!" I desperately said.

He nodded slowly, before releasing me. I weakly sunk back to the bed.

"Blue, I know we can't always be happy. Otherwise," he said with a grin. "you would be, since you were blessed enough to be in the presence of the great and wonderful Shishiwakamaru. But still," he continued in more somber tones. "saying that isn't going to help you. You are who you are, and you aren't any of those things. You _earned_ my friendship by being yourself, so of course you deserve it. You aren't a freak, Blue, you're just an ice demon that's a bit misplaced. Trying to fight isn't a bad thing, and you didn't know. Just…cool it," he finished. "And there was definitely a pun intended."

I nodded again.

"Sorry… I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just ticked off at how my whole life's been…" I lamely apologized.

"Yeah… Now, I _did_ bring that food for a purpose, right?" he asked, holding up cooked fillet of lightning fish.

My eyes lit up, and I immediately dug into the food, forgetting in my hunger to use utensils. I wolfed it down, before sighing contently and leaning back, before noticing something: one of Shishi's bangs simply wasn't there.

"Hey…Why aren't your bangs on the left side there?" I asked.

"Hm? Oh, it fell out."

"It? Shishi, multiple strands of hair should technically be called 'they'," I corrected.

"Not hair, silly. They're feathers."

"What?" I dumbly questioned.

"You heard me. Those two bangs are feathers. Didn't you ever wonder how they could stick straight up?"

"Well, yes, but I didn't want to embarrass you by asking," I admitted.

He walked over to one of his shelves, picking up what looked identical to his usual bang. Stepping back over, he handed it to me.

There was a thin, almost invisible shaft running down the middle, and it was the same shade of indigo as the rest of his hair. The tip of the quill poked out the bottom, as per usual with feathers, and it was the characteristic white. It was soft to the touch, and I couldn't resist rubbing my cheek over the feather, feeling it with my more touch-sensitive skin. It was as supple as expected, yet it had strength to it. Thousands of tiny barbs and barbules supported it, kept it in shape. I briefly wondered how Shishi preened it, but then decided that it would be better not to ask.

"It's amazing," I truthfully said.

"Yeah, well, that's what you get when you're a freak," he offhandedly remarked.

I felt my cheeks burn with shame.

"I get it. Things that are odd don't make you a freak."

"Yeah, see? Personally, I like them. They add character to my face."

He ran his hand over the feather remaining on his head.

"Of course, when I lose one, it always looks lopsided. I usually pluck out the other one, regardless of hurt."

"It…hurts you? Is it bad?" I asked.

"Not too much. Kind of like a quick nip from an animal-"

He cut off suddenly, a look of embarrassment on his face. Unconsciously, my hand strayed to the bite wound on my neck. He shook his head repeatedly, as if he had something in his hair that he was trying to dislodge.

"It's okay," I hurriedly cut in.

"Yeah, I suppose. If you want, you can keep the feather."

I nodded, holding it carefully by the quill.

"I bet Tal's worried," I spoke up, climbing out of bed. "Sorry if I bothered you."

"Yeah, sure. G'bye, Blue."

"Bye, Shishi. Well, look on the bright side-at least you're not so fat anymore," I jokingly started.

"And at least you learned how to smile!" he replied.

We both grinned, and I was still in higher spirits when I stepped out of his house and back into the village.

"He's still as unpredictable as always," I thought aloud, shaking my head.

* * *

Yeah, like I said, it's a bit morbid. But...well, I'm getting somewhere with this. Now that Touya's powers are waxing stronger and he still has no control, things won't be good. Without any real ability to handle this, it could very well crush him from the physical and mental pressure. He needs help...but how is he going to get it? Find out, next time I update! -shamelessly grins- Please review! 


	8. No Pain, No Gain

If the chapter title didn't clue you in, this isn't going to be fun for our little Touya. Those who are a bit squemish and don't like hearing about excruciating pain...it might be better to skip this. Just saying... Well, with that said, have fun!

* * *

I sat on my bed, staring down at my hands, which were turned so the palms faced me. Something was definitely occurring within me, and I was worried. My aura was acting odd, writhing and churning inside of me. I was afraid, fearful of what it would do. Feeling my own energy as something more than just a docile spark was not what I was used to. Now, it was a raging blaze that could potentially consume a small ice youkai like me in a matter of minutes. It didn't feel _right_ to me. Ki was supposed to be a part of me, a great and glorious thing one could derive strength and courage from. Mine made me frightened, though. What was wrong?

My aura jerked and twisted, and I was nervous. It felt as though the energy was growing, expanding. I sat there, squirming a bit, unsure of what it the Makai was going on. It was uncomfortable to say the least. This felt like the nauseating lurching of one's stomach right before they throw up, coupled with an almost itching sensation. It calmed down a few seconds later, and I sighed with relief. That particular sensation had not been one I had felt before, and I wasn't sure what it meant. Why would my aura act so odd?

Then the pain started. Jagged, white-hot hurt spread through every nerve of my body, and I whimpered and cried out. It felt as though my skull would split in two, the pain was so great. My aura seemed to be trying to break out of my body, perhaps destroying it in the process. Cuts and scratches, thin yet deep, materialized on my cheeks, my chest, my arms, and my legs, cut by tiny energy blades shooting out of me. This was horrible, terrible.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" I yelled, balling my hands into fists in an attempt to deal with this newfound hurt. My ki violently thrashed, fighting like some caged animal. I screamed, collapsing to the floor. I was tense, muscles rigid. The energy pushed against my chest, and for a second or two, I couldn't breathe. Then it pulled away, back to a more full-body hurt. Nauseated, I pushed myself onto my hands and knees before retching, blood mixing with the contents of my stomach. I was in such physical pain that I could not even think coherently. Yet…that was the answer! I had to mentally subdue the energy, show it who was boss.

It was immensely hard, trying to block out my body's torment. I could not possibly do that, but I would have to work around it. I formed the image of a snare in my mind, moving it until it was secured around the aura. Biting my lip as a particularly vicious fit of pain shot through me, I tightened the loop, catching the energy. It felt as though it had just caught me, too, and we struggled for dominance, fighting a mental battle. It wasn't so much a feint-left, strike-right kind of fight. It was more of a tug-of-war sort of thing, and it was giving ground, more than I had. After a bit, it meekly stopped moving, condensing itself into a small ball and docilely settling itself down.

Exhausted, I fell to my side, panting and gasping for breath. Beads of sweat trickled down my face and neck, mingling with the tears I hadn't realized that I had been crying and the blood that had seeped out of my small wounds. My whole body shook every now and then. I felt positively exhausted, and every inch of my body ached.

Tal burst into the room, eyes wide with concern. Seeing my prone and bleeding form, his muddy brown eyes practically burst out of his head.

"Touya! What happened to you? I heard you calling out a couple of seconds ago and I came to see what was wrong!"  
_A couple of seconds ago?_ I mentally echoed. _That whole terrible experience took place in less than a minute? It felt like an eternity to me…_

"My aura…" I panted, voice a bit hoarse from screaming. "It rebelled against me, or at least I think it did."

"What do you mean? Your own aura wouldn't hurt you!"  
"I don't know… It felt like it was ripping me to pieces from the inside out," I weakly explained.

"Okay…what to do, what to do! First off, you need some rest. You're obviously tired. Then, um… We're going to go to the ice peoples' village. They will know what to do," he decided.

I nodded, licking my dry lips to try and bring some moisture to them. The nasty, coppery tang of blood greeted me, and I half gagged. I couldn't imagine how Shishi liked this stuff.

He gently picked me up, trying not to jostle me around too much. It didn't matter, though; I didn't think that there was anywhere on me that he could touch without sending waves of hurt through me. Wincing, I gasped with pain. Tal didn't react, and he carefully set me back on my bed. I managed a weak smile as he sat down on the side of my bed, the mattress groaning in protest.

"It's going to be okay, Touya. I won't let anything hurt you, and you know it," he consoled, softly stroking my hair. I needed all the comfort I could get, and despite being a bit too old for that, I didn't argue. It felt nice…

Slowly, I slipped into sleep, waiting for the journey-to-be…

* * *

I groggily awoke, feeling stiff and sore all over. The abuse my body had taken from the brief struggle affected me almost as much today as it had yesterday. Groaning, I sat up, a dull pain originating from my battered abdominal muscles.

My floor had been cleaned of the blood and vomit, although a slight rust-colored stain was on the side of the rug. I guessed that Tal couldn't quite wash that off. It was a pity, since I had rather favored the soft blue carpet, but it couldn't be helped. Neither of us could have predicted that sudden aura attack. Trying to block out the hurt, I clambered out of bed. To my amusement, Tal had washed out and bandaged almost every one of the cuts. The mental image of the seven-foot-tall bat youkai sticking a bandage on my numerous cuts almost made me giggle.

I shuffled into the kitchen. The bat youkai was there, packing two backpacks. Upon hearing my quiet footsteps, he turned around, large bat ears swiveling to catch sound better. They were like a fox's ears, except they were on the sides of his head. The demon could hear just about anything with those.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked with concern, walking over to me.

"A bit," I replied. "I'm still kind of sore."

"That's to be expected, after that kind of pain. We'll be leaving today, okay?"

"But…aren't the ice lands over a month's walk away?" I questioned.

"We won't be walking. We'll ride an eagle to Gandara, where I'll hire a yaminade to take us there."

"A yaminade? What's that?"

"They're dimension walkers, rare youkai that can take a step in the middle of the Plateau of the Beheaded and end up in Mukuro's capital building," he explained.

My eyes grew wide, and my mouth hung open.

"They can do that?"

He nodded, smiling at my reaction.

"Won't that be expensive, though?" I asked, trying to remind myself that I might not get to travel like that. It sounded so wonderful, though.

"Yes, it will… A couple hundred gold, actually."

I gasped at the sum, shocked. That was a _lot_ of money. Through my years of saving up every copper that I had earned, I had managed to collect a total of eighty-two gold, five silver and a copper. For Tal to speak of a couple _hundred_ gold was an almost unthinkable amount of money to me.

"But… We could always just fly the whole way there, right?"

"It would take days, and who knows what could happen to you then?" he asked, patting me gently on the head.

"Th-thank you," I murmured. To imagine him spending that much money for me was amazing. I hugged him around the middle, and he in turn wrapped a leathery wing around me. It was soft and warm and comfortable, and his wing-hugs had always brought a certain kind of peace to me.

"Why don't you go say good-bye to Shishi?" he suggested. I suppose he wanted to get me out of his wings for a little bit. I nodded, and limped out of the house, going to see my friend.

One of the kids saw me, but instead of jeering and mocking me, he got a fearful expression on.

"Hey, it's Ice Boy! Don't hurt me!" he squawked, backing up.

I cocked my head to the side, looking at him quizzically.

"Why would I do that?" I asked.

"'Cause you're a vicious killer!"

"What?"

"Just go away, you freak!" he ordered.

I slowly turned away, and headed for Shishi's house, trying to hide my hurt. To be the laughingstock of the whole town was better than being alienated and despised for being a freak. I sighed, knocking twice on the half-vampire's front door. He answered seconds later.

"Hey Blue. What up?" he asked.

I was about to speak before he cut me off.

"Whoa, buddy, it looks like you got in a fight with a pair of scissors…and lost. What happened to you?"

"My aura went psycho and tried to kill me," I truthfully replied.

"When did you become a joker?"

"I didn't. Look at this," I instructed, peeling a square bandage away from a cheek wound.

"So, how did your aura do that?" he asked.

"I don't know…but I have to leave for a while to get it solved. I don't want to die, Shishi!"

He nodded, before I saw his nostrils twitch slightly, as if he was sniffing the air. It was then that I realized that I had just exposed a bloody cut to a crazy, blood-obsessed half vampire. I gulped, before yelling out a quick goodbye and bolting. If I stuck around, it was bound to get nasty.

My whole body was hurt, though, and I ended up pulling out of my run only a couple dozen strides away. Luckily, I was far enough away that he probably couldn't smell the blood, especially since he hadn't even noticed until I had practically shoved my wound under his nose. Shishi hadn't even had enough time to shapeshift. I smiled back at him, assuring the lavender-eyed youkai that it was okay, before heading back home.

I reached the house, stumbling through the front door and settling myself down on the first chair I found. Tal greeted me warmly, before picking me up, setting me on his shoulders like a young child. I yelled out with surprise, wincing with pain, before, laughing with joy.

"C'mon, little guy. We're going to the stables."

I grinned, allowing myself to enjoy such a childlike experience. Tal had to duck to make it through the door without banging my head on the frame. He ran down the streets, spreading his wings wide, and with a few flaps he took off. I merrily laughed as he readjusted his grip so that I was held in a bridal hold. It had been years since he had flown with me, and I had rather grown to miss the rhythmic pounding of his wings, the creak of tendons and the unsteady, almost ungainly flight. His body would be propelled upward on every downbeat, and then it would fall a tiny bit, where the upbeat would catch him, and then the next downbeat would send us soaring again. Powerful muscles in his chest, stronger than any wingless person could ever hope to achieve, enabled him to fly even while carrying a sixty pound burden such as myself. Pressed up close to his body, I could feel his muscles move, powering those huge wings of his. The wind rushed by me, and I leaned into it, even if it was making my almond-shaped eyes water. I loved flying with Tal. Eagle-flight wasn't the same.

I sighed with contentment, loving the flight. There was nothing I had done that could compare to it. All too soon, though, he set down, gently placing me on my feet. I was a bit unsteady, my balance not its best after the flight, and he reached out to steady me, catching me by the shoulder. I stifled a cry of pain; he had grabbed me a bit harder than necessary.

"Sorry, little one," he apologized, sauntering into the building, me at his heels.

"Hello, welcome to Trevelyan's Mounts, how may I help you?" a female centaur demon asked in a bored voice.

"We'd like to rent two eagles," Tal replied.

"Where are you flying to?" she asked, voice monotone.

"Gandara."

"Okay. That'll be one gold and thirty-two silver."

Tal handed over two small golden coins, and the youkai took them.

"Sixty-eight silver is your change," she lazily said.

The bat apparition nodded, before he led me to the back. Many different creatures rested in stalls; enormous birds were not the only ones. Animals with wasp wings, fly eyes and dinosaur bodies scratched at the dirt floor, occasionally screeching. Great horses whinnied or munched on hay, and majestic tigers paced back and forth. Hoofed monsters with the bodies of dogs and the heads of goats slept in the corners of their booths. This wasn't my first trip here. Shishi had brought me out here every now and then.

Tal picked out a chestnut colored bird, and I picked the storm-gray eagle I usually rode.

"Hey, Tempest," I said in a soothing voice, and he bowed his head to see me. I scratched the bird on the back of the neck, in the way that he liked, and the animal trilled, a purring sound made in the back of its throat.

I picked up the crimson blanket that rested near the back of his stall, laying it over his back. Then, I hauled a light, wood-and-leather saddle off of its post, resting it on his back, between his shoulder blades. I then secured the X-shaped girth strap around his wings and connected it under his belly. Tempest opened his beak, and I slid the bit in, hooking the halter over his face. I gently held the reins, pulling him forward. He obediently followed me out of the stall, chirruping at me.

The centaur languidly watched as I led the bird outside, and waited for Tal. He soon came out, his eagle clawing the ground. He nimbly vaulted onto its back, a single beat of his wings sufficing to carry him into the air. I scrambled up onto the slate-colored bird, before lightly kicking him on the flanks.

"Kya, Tempest, kya!" I called out, and he pounded his gigantic wings, lifting off the ground. For the first time in my life, I was leaving the village. We were going to Gandara!

* * *

Yup, something will actually happen in the next chapter. Ooh, the suspense! -grins- Please review! 


	9. Minty Freshness

Yup. Fast update, fast update. I had nothing better to do, so I sat down and typed for about six hours straight. I care! This one is my longest by far, partly to make up for the shorter chapter eight, and partly because this was the best spot to stop it, in my opinion. This one is dedicated to a friend of mine, who's name shall not be said. Happy birthday! Anyway, read and review!

* * *

I stared. I could only stare at the enormous city of Gandara, as I looked up at it from immediately inside the city walls. It was easily the most impressive and amazing thing that I had _ever_ seen. Gigantic towers and buildings made of sleek stone and shining metal and perfectly polished glass rose high into the sky, like the largest of trees. The immense city walls surrounded the whole thing, or at least I think they did. I could only see a tiny fraction of the city, but it was mind-boggling. Flashing, multicolored lights covered the buildings, lighting the place up as bright as day, despite the thick, black clouds that clung overtop the town. I couldn't even see the scarlet sky, or the continual flashes of lightning. Not that I was looking up, that is. My eyes were fixed on the city, mind overwhelmed by not only the sheer size of it, but the _technology!_ Luminous signs hung from posts or the buildings themselves, providing light without using fire. A monstrous sheet of metal had flashing pictures on it, pictures that _moved _and showed demons doing things on it. Elegantly carved statues perched atop buildings or sat at street corners. Hundreds of youkai milled about, walking here, there, into the buildings, out of them, all talking and jabbering and yelling. I saw more demons in twenty seconds than I had in my entire life. Even the sky had winged demons soaring about, trying to beat the crowds. There wasn't much of a place to land, though, and when those airborne apparitions dropped down to land, the others had to hastily make room or get squished. 

Noise was colossal, what with the voices of so many demons, the clicking sound made by sharp claws tapping against the stone, the crack of thunder, the rustling of cloth brushing against things. There was barking and screeching and sloshing and roaring and growling and a whole hoard of other sounds I couldn't even begin to describe. And the _smells!_ Even with my fairly dulled sense of smell, I could clearly sniff out many, many things. The acrid tang of smoke in particular caught my interest, and there was the faint smell of ozone from the amount of lightning there was. The sweaty scent of so many bodies pressed close together was almost enough to make me vomit, and there were the individual scents that identified particular species of apparitions. A smell that reminded me of rotting flesh passed so close by that I gagged, the demon in particular having the body of a snake yet four clawed, humanoid arms and the head of a lion. The scent of smoky, burning wood was also recognizable as that of a certain breed of fire demon, and the crisp, fresh air sort of smell, mixed with that of rosemary met my nose. There were far too many smells to stop and consider all of them, though. A musky sort of animal smell, an apply sort of scent, even one that smelled like rich soil and salt were noticeable.

I could even taste the difference between this place and my home. The air was much thicker, more humid, and harder to breathe. It wasn't as fresh as the air I was used to breathing, and it tasted a bit funny, a bit like blood. The sun, which was directly overhead at this time of day, warmed the stone and were it not for the cloud cover I was sure that it would be unbearably hot. The streets were paved with rock that had been worn down by thousands of feet stepping on it each day, and it was smooth to my bare feet. As I stood there, awestruck, a horned demon with a second mouth on its belly elbowed me out of the way, and I tried to regain my balance. Luckily, I succeeded; otherwise I might have pitched forward into one of the other youkai in front of me.

Snapping out of the trance that this assault on my senses had induced, I looked over to Tal.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" he asked, a pleasant expression on his face.

I nodded. For one of the first times ever, words failed me, and I couldn't possibly think of a way to describe it.

"Come on, Touya. Let's hit the air," he suggested, plucking me off the ground. One of the youkai to the side of us, a colossal brute with a thick green hide, yelled some choice words at the two of us before Tal spread his wings. The demon that had previously been angry quickly hopped back, as did some of the others around us. Pounding his wings, the bat demon leaped into the air, joining the others.

"Dumb winged jerks," a demon with five eyes muttered. "Don't give a damn about those of us who get stuck in the way."

There wasn't half as much aerial traffic as there was on the ground, so we made our way through the sky fairly quickly. We circled over the market square for a little bit, although at one point a crow apparition with seemingly no care for anyone else flew kamikaze through the air like a black-feathered bullet, and Tal had to stall, not beating his wings at all in order to avoid getting hit. A few quick beats and we were back in our regular position, but it had still been rather frightening.

Tal paused over a wide, open square where he could easily land were it not for the youkai down there. He hovered for a bit, hoping that his shadow would scare a few of them off, but none even moved.

"Hey! You down there! I'm going to land!" he called out.

A few of the apparitions moved, but a chimera demon didn't falter.

"Could you _please_ move?" the bat demon asked, stressing the word 'please' to the limit.

"I ain't squashing nobody or flying around up there even though I can," the chimera replied. "'Cause o' that, I ain't gonna move for you."

His coarse manner of speech got on my nerves, as did his grating voice, one that sounded like many stones rolling over and over down a mountainside.

Tal frowned, spreading his wings to their fullest yet not flapping, so that he glided downwards, hoping that whoever was beneath him would move in time. Grumbling and growling, the bestial demon shuffled to the side, where Tal gracefully landed, folding his wings and setting me down.

"Thank you," he politely said, while the lion-bodied thing sneered at him, ambling off.

There were many colorful stalls and stands, all of them selling _something_ or another, be they gorgeous swords that I was sure Shishi would envy or woven carpets and tapestries with exotic designs on them. I gawked and gasped appreciatively, suddenly wishing that I had brought my money. There were exquisitely carved wooden figurines and gold plated chess sets, animals in cages and clothes made of silks and stitched with beautiful fabric that made me feel shabby in comparison, what with my white tank top underneath a light blue vest with baggy powder blue pants and lack of shoes. Tal led me past them all, until we reached a plain stall with a single word painted on the front: Traveling.

The youkai running it was of medium height, and he had purple-blue hair that hung down to his shoulders and warm golden eyes. This demon had a fine-boned face and pale skin. He wore outlandish clothes that caused me to stare before the brunette youkai lightly cuffed me on the back of the head and told me that it was rude to stare. Still, they were of an interesting variety. A cape fell to mid-back, or at least that was what I had seen in the second that the demon had been turned to the side. It was made of crimson feathers that had a splotch of orangey-yellow in the center, like the phoenixes of legend. He had on an overly large, plum colored jacket that reached down to his knees, and it was stitched with golden thread in intricate, flowing patterns. The collar of his jacket was the same shade of scarlet as his cape, and golden buttons ran down the left side of it, the coat left unbuttoned. His shirt was a skintight white one that showed him to be exceptionally slender, and a ruby-colored sash was tied around his waist. His pants were loose-fitting red ones that had similar gold edging to it, and they had deep pockets, from what I could tell. The waistband was a purple that matched his jacket. All in all, an odd combination.

"For what do you need my services?" he asked in a soft, melodic voice. I was entranced by the indigo-haired apparition.

"We need to travel to the ice apparition's village."

"Easily done," he replied. "As for the cost, I require but two hundred gold coins."

Tal's face seemed to brighten up immensely. I was sure that he had expected more than that.

"Thank you."

"It is no problem. As you assuredly know, I am a yaminade; my race is well known for their ability to go anywhere in the three worlds. Please, just call me Vaifar. Come on, both of you."

He brought his hands through a series of intricate passes, and a rend appeared in the air. Through it, I could see snow and ice, and a small town that paled in comparison to the giant city we were leaving. Still, this was where I belonged; the ice lands.

Motioning for us with his delicate hands, he stepped through the tear in reality. I hesitantly followed, Tal bringing up the rear. It felt like every other step I had taken, except for the wave of vertigo that I experienced upon moving between Gandara and the icy northern lands.

Tal had rummaged through his pockets, extracting two platinum coins. My eyes widened; I hadn't ever seen a platinum coin. One of those was equal to a hundred gold.

Vaifar nodded, before stepping back through the rip.

"When would you like me to return?" he asked.

"Half a day's time should be fine," Tal responded, handing the yaminade the money.

"I shall return then," he promised, sealing the gap.

The ice village was settled high atop a plateau. We began to hike up the hill, stumbling every now and then on the ice. Tal was shivering, mud-colored wings wrapped around him in an attempt to stay warm. The cold didn't bother me much, although my legs, which had been soaked up to the knees by the snow, were getting kind of chilly, as well as my bare feet. We climbed up the final distance, and there it was.

It was a small, modest village, and compared to the grandeur of Gandara it seemed meager. Still, it was beautiful in its own way. Without any real access to wood, the houses had all been made out of stone, and icicles dangled off of the roofs. A small wall made of ice had been erected around it.

"So this is home…" I whispered.

"What was that, Touya?" Tal asked.

"Nothing," I murmured. I hadn't meant to speak aloud.

We approached the front, where the only breach in the walls was. Two guards stood at attention, protecting their town. I was stunned at how different these ice youkai looked from me. One had messy teal hair, worn in more of a hair-don't than a hairdo. His eyes were a deep sapphire blue, and he was tall, strong-looking. The other had auburn hair that was down past her shoulders, kept neat and combed in place. She, despite being a bit smaller than the other, still looked equally formidable. As Tal and I approached, they stepped together, barring the entrance.

"Outsiders are not allowed unless they are coming for trading," the woman said.

"But, we need to see the village elder," the bat youkai protested. I wasn't comfortable around strangers, so I stepped behind Tal, hiding like a young child would.

"No outsiders allowed," the man repeated.

"Would you let an ice demon in?" he asked.

"Yes," the man answered.

"What about an ice demon's companions?"

"It depends," the brunette replied.

"How about the ice demon's adopted father?"

"Yes," the man decided. "That would be allowed."

"Come on, Touya," Tal said, using a leathery wing to push me to the side, so that the guards could see me. "They said we could go in."

"No, we didn't," the woman argued. "We said that an ice demon and their adopted father could."

"This is Touya. He's an _ice youkai_, and _I'm_ his guardian."

They traded glances. Clearly, the two hadn't been expecting that.

"Prove it," they demanded in unison.

"C'mon, Touya, show them what you can do."

I knew that I couldn't call up the ice at will, so I mutely shook my head, trying to hide behind the bat demon again. He sighed audibly, extending his wing again and pushing me forward. I stumbled, barely regaining my balance.

"If you can't prove that he is one of us, then you cannot go in."

"But that's our problem!" Tal exclaimed. "He doesn't know how to use his aura, and it is acting up, so he needs someone to help him learn how to use it."

"Wait here with Chotryn. I'll take the boy before the elders," the women said, grabbing me roughly by the wrist. I cried out with surprise, nonetheless following her. Tal nodded slowly, remaining where he was.

She didn't say anything as she led me through the streets, not relinquishing her viselike grip on my wrist. Some of the townsfolk stared at me, probably finding visitors unusual, especially an odd-looking one like me. Add that to the fact that I was being dragged around like a convict, and people were bound to gape. The guard pulled me into a large building, decorated with a mosaic of an enormous dragon on the front. The huge beast was made of marble, with sapphires for the eyes, and chips of obsidian for the pupils. Tiny scales had been carved over the whole thing, and it looked almost lifelike. Its front talons, each as large as my hand, curved over the doorway, the wings spread wide and the tail curving around to the right of the doorway. I was stunned at the wonderful craftsmanship.

Inside, seated in a semi-circle on blue cushions, were five youkai, each one old enough to have probably seen more years than I had seen months. The women leading me bowed so low I was sure her forehead was scraping the ground. I paused, unsure, before she jerked me to the ground, forcing me to bow to the others. Being shoved around just because they were stronger than me was something I was used to, but I had expected to be treated a bit better since they were of the same species. Then again, they already said that they weren't sure if I was an ice demon.

"What is it, Lysoi?" the only woman in the group asked.

"Him. He showed up a few minutes ago with a _bat demon_" she spoke the words 'bat demon' with disgust "of all things. The bat was claiming that he's an ice youkai, and that they're here because he needs helping learning how to use it."

"I see. Bring him here," the man in the center, one with steel-gray hair, requested.

Lysoi dragged me forward, and I couldn't stifle a yelp of pain as she dropped me on the ground before them.

"There is no need to treat the boy like that," another said.

"I am sorry," the guard apologized.

"You are dismissed."

She bowed low, before leaving. I was left on my knees before a council of powerful and intelligent apparitions.

"What is your name, young one?"

"Touya," I replied, voice soft. I stared at the ground, as was my habit.

"Lysoi says that you claim to be an ice apparition. Is that true?" one asked.

I nodded, more than a bit intimidated. There were so many of them, and each one was much stronger than I was. Only pride had kept the quiver out of my voice.

"And you cannot show us that you are?"

I shook my head.

"How did you find out?" the woman gently asked.

"I had been angry. I was really mad and then…it just happened. Everything went all cold and ice was everywhere. I don't know how I did it…" I replied.

"I see," the demon in the middle said. "If that is it, then you could always learn how to use it on your own."

I almost sighed, disappointed.

"But…a couple of days ago, when I hadn't been doing anything, it went kind of crazy. My aura was attacking me. It cut these into my body," I desperately tried, pointing to a few of the gashes "and it hurt me all over. I had to mentally subdue it."

This raised an uproar from the others.

"Why could that have happened?" a blonde asked.

"It must've been his emotions. He needs to come to terms with himself!" a white-haired youkai insisted.

"No, no, he needs proper training! He needs to learn how to use his energy!" a teal-haired demon suggested.

"You're both wrong! He needs someone to treat him with certain medicines," the violet-eyed woman argued.

"It's his emotions! You all know I'm right!"

"No! He needs to have his aura removed for the time being!" a wrinkled old man said.

"Training is the key!"

"No, it's his belief of himself!"

"Silence!" the gray-haired demon bellowed. The others abruptly stopped talking. "Before we need to worry about any of this, we must find out whether or not this outrageous claim is true."

They didn't believe me. I sighed, waiting for them to say something else. After all, I already told them that I couldn't control it. How were they supposed to discover that I truly was what I had said without me being able to freeze something?

"Well, little one, please come over here."

I swallowed, standing up. With slow, hesitant steps, I paced over to him. I stopped a couple of feet away, but he motioned for me to come a little bit closer. Hesitant, I stepped a few paces closer. He reached out, laying his hand on my chest. I squirmed under his touch, unable to help it.

His energy flowed into my body, and I flinched, trying to pull away. The one behind me held me still, though, and I couldn't get away. All of the sudden, my ki flared into being; the man had forced me to use my energy. Ice flowed over the ground, spreading up the wall. The eyebrows practically shot off of his head. I, too, was stunned. It felt awful to have someone use my energy without my permission. I tried to make it stop, but I had about as much success with that as I had had with tapping into my energy in the first place.

He withdrew his energy, halting mine as well. I was easily tired from using any aura at all, and this tiny usage made me sleepy.

"Well…he's an ice demon, that's for sure," the one who had argued for psychological troubles said at last.

"We will try the medicine. Taedos, please fetch those herbs."

The woman stood up, bowed, and left.

"Little one, you seem to be rather nervous. Please try and calm down. It does not suit an ice youkai to be jittery. Just be a bit more tranquil," the blonde suggested.

I nodded slowly, but it wasn't exactly easy to ditch fear. All that I could manage was _looking_ a bit less worried.

_This is _so_ weird,_ I thought. _Here I am, in the middle of where I'm supposed to be. Maybe…maybe I could find…my parents?_

"I don't know who my parents are," I murmured. "Do you…think that there's anyone here…that may be them?"

They traded glances, looking worried.

"How old are you?" the blue-haired man asked.

"Thirty-two," I replied.

"I don't think anyone left around that time," they said, thoughtful.

"But you have to consider some things," one of the others cut in. "Whether or not he's a pureblood ice demon, who the mother was, who the father was, what kind of medications might have been used… things like that could affect how long the pregnancy was. We can't be sure."

"He's a pureblood. I could feel it," the leader announced. "His energy was far too refined for him to be anything but."

"Well…we need information. Someone, fetch the bat."

The one who suggested training stood up, bowing formally as all the others had before, and left. Minutes later, he returned, a shivering Tal at his heels. My eyes lit up, and I moved to stand up before the eldest of them placed a hand on my shoulder, telling me to stay.

"I swear my wings are going to freeze off," Tal muttered. "Could I possibly get a jacket or something over here?"

The others stared at him with disdain. I winced, upset that Tal had _already_ said the wrong thing. The leader forced a smile.

"Well, sir, what is your name?"

"Cotalyn," he replied.

"Yes, Cotalyn… How old was Touya when he…fell under your care? And what were the circumstances for that?"

"He was five, and I adopted him from an orphanage on the outskirts of Gandara."

I nodded. That was nothing new to me.

"Yes. And how old was he when he could first talk?"

"He was sixteen."

"Interesting…so you're saying that he was the equivalent of a human five year old when he said his _first_ word?" he asked.

"Yes."

"And what would that be?"

"He first said 'Why?'" Tal confessed.

"Uh-huh. And… When did he learn how to read? Two, three years later?"

"Actually, he could read since he was nine," Tal replied.

"Not much of a talker, is he?" he asked.

"No, he never really was. He likes to paint, to read, to write, though. He's a dreamer, not a doer."

I didn't like being talked about as though I wasn't here. In an attempt to make them remember that I was, indeed, still in the room, I coughed lightly.

No one said or did anything. I sighed. Being ignored wasn't something that I liked very much. Shishi had always paid attention to me. Even the bullies, for all of their gibes and jokes, noticed me.

Just then, the woman returned, a small vial of _something_. She handed it to me, before taking her seat again.

"Drink that, and you should feel better."

"Well, thank you," Tal murmured. "Come on, Touya. Let's go."

I meekly obeyed, bowing to the others, and following the bat out. We both left. The bat demon spread his wings, flapping them a few times to bring some warmth to them.

"It's too cold up here," he told me. "I can't see how you can take this."

"I suppose I'm naturally immune to the cold."

He tossed his wings into the air, before folding them at his sides; that was his way of shrugging. We stepped out of the village, the guards snapping to attention as we left. We tread through the knee-deep snow, but I had this faint prickling sensation on the back of my neck, as though someone was watching us.

A tall demon seemed to melt out of the thick, snow-filled air. He fell into step beside of us, before Tal and I both stopped.

"Who are you?" the brunette demanded, spreading his wings to hide me from the stranger.

"Jumpy, are you?" he smoothly asked, avoiding the question. The other tried to sidestep, trying to see around the bat's wings.

"You didn't answer," Tal replied, stepping to block him.

"Tariel," he said. "But that's just a name, of no real concern. I believe that I can help you with your little problem."

"I…don't know what you're talking about. The elders got this all wrapped up."

"Pass me the bottle, then," he challenged.

I dodged around Tal's wings, each longer than I was tall, so that this Tariel person could see me. His hair was darker than ink, and it was slightly messy, looking as though he hadn't combed it in a while, and it was almost as long as mine was. His eyes were a deep sea green, and he had on an expression of mild curiosity. He was of medium height; taller than I was, which was not a surprise, but not close to Tal's height. A plain, sensible tunic in a nondescript shade of blue wrapped it up.

Reaching into my vest pockets, I pulled out the tiny bottle with its green liquid. The man gently took it from my hand, popped the wax seal, and sniffed at it. Thoughtful, he took a small sip, before frowning slightly.

"This is mint extract," he said at last. "It has little to no medicinal properties beyond treating stomachaches and bug bites."

"Then I do need help," I spoke up.

"Touya? Are you sure about this?" Tal asked.

I nodded.

"Well, then, I can help you. I'm a trained ice warrior, and troubles of the aura are easily handled," he responded. "Come, let us discuss this."

We nodded, and began to speak with Tariel.

* * *

Yes...I honestly looked up the medicinal properties of mint. I have no real life, huh? As for the age thing, as far as I see it, demons age slowly at first, speed up for a bit, then hardly age at all. Yeah... Anyway, I couldn't resist the great big description of Gandara. My muse demanded that it be written! Yup! Review, please! 


	10. Of Ice And Men

Yup. It's chapter ten. Nice! Now...why read this when you can read the actual story?

* * *

"Let's start with a few simple questions," Tariel began. "First off, when did Touya start manifesting his aura?" 

"I have a few questions that I'd like answered first," Tal cut in. "Who exactly are you, how did you hear all this, why did you come and talk to us, and why do you think that you could help Touya when none of the elders could?"

"All good questions and all will be answered. As I said, I am Tariel. I happen to be the only remaining ice master in any of the worlds. I am also one of the shinobi. Therefore, I am quite proficient at spying on people. Seeing Touya here, I could sense his energy and recognize him for what he is: an ice youkai with incredible potential. I heard of your problem, and I can help. This aura trouble is the mark of a true ice warrior, and I too suffered through it. As such, I can help him through it and also train him; that is, if you are willing, Touya," the onyx-haired apparition replied.

Tal frowned at the word 'shinobi'. I had heard mention of them, vague things that told me little to nothing other than that they were combat experts and were equally adept at stealth. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with them.

"Around a month ago, for the aura question," the bat said, a bit edgy.

"That soon? Amazing. Now, you don't have to be nervous. I bear no ill intention. Let's see… Touya, describe exactly how your energy feels to you."

I practically glowed with happiness. I hadn't been excluded from the conversation at all; this wasn't another 'grown-up' talk where I was expected to sit or stand there and be about as useful as a decorative statue.

"It crackles, kind of like the air right before a storm, although it doesn't feel thick. It's a bit jumpy, too, and rather out-of-control, like fire. Although it is supposed to be ice energy, it feels warm, far too warm, and it stings slightly. At the very least, it has this itching sensation about it, one that prickles and is unnerving. I don't like it one bit," I confessed.

"You've read quite a lot, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have. It's my only real hobby. What made you ask that?"

"Your words: articulate, fluid, powerful, even. Anyway, your ki shouldn't feel like that to you. Why do you think that it is like that?" he asked.

"I…honestly don't know. I'm inclined to believe that it's my fault. I suppose I need to come to terms with myself."

"And you aren't as it is?"

"No, not really. I'm too weak, too slow, too different, too this, too that," I replied, shaking my head so hard that my wild mane of hair went flying. "I'm not who I want to be; I know that that would be impossible, and I'm not stupid enough to believe that I need to be exactly who I want to to be happy. But I'd at least like to be someone different. I don't want to be who I am."

"Uh-huh. And why would that be?" he asked.

"I'm a freak," I murmured, turning away from him.

"Touya…" Tal started, while at the same time Tariel wondered, "Why is that?"

"Don't press him for details!" the bat ordered. "He's obviously upset, and therefore he needs to be comforted."

"But you cannot help him unless you know why it is that he feels that way," the ebony-haired shinobi argued.

"I'm not what I should be," I spoke up, my voice barely above a whisper. "Now that I've seen other ice youkai, I'm even more convinced. They look so different from me, and I'm supposed to be one of them. I'm too small for my age, my eyes are so abnormal, and my bangs are kind of psycho. I've been an outcast since a young age, and only a half vampire/half bird demon would accept me, and I'd hardly call him normal. I'm a freak."

I could hear the sudden _shuff_ noise that showed the bat opening his wings; he was probably worried and startled. The other made no such sound. Vaguely curious, I waited for him to do something.

To my surprise, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I flinched.

"That isn't true. It may have been a good guess, but it is neither true of you nor of your aura difficulties. They look different because they are. They don't have the intellect and the strength that you possess even now. Your size only enables you to run faster and dodge more nimbly than a larger demon could. Those eyes of yours are truly marvelous. I have never seen their like. And as for your bangs, that's just a quirk of yours. My hair is stick-straight, yet it pokes up in the front, making me look like a hedgehog. They exclude you because they don't understand you," Tariel explained.

"And you do?" I demanded, turning around.

"I would be lying to say that I truly did. However, I know that you aren't fully content at home. You feel different, cast out even while living there. That isn't where you _want_ to be, merely where you _are_. You dream of, long for, other places, places you've only just began to see. You want a home fitting for you, for an ice apparition. All this snow and ice, it makes you feel comfortable. Am I right?"

I stared.

"How…How do you know all this about me?" I asked.

"We're one and the same, Touya. Ice youkai and misunderstood both."

I could tell that there was more he wanted to say, but he hesitated, and remained silent. I wasn't sure why. Was it because Tal was here? Or, even worse, was it because I was here? I was itching to ask him what he intended to say, but I too held my tongue. If he didn't want to say it, then it wasn't my place to ask it of him.

"So, can you cure this?" my guardian asked after a while.

"You cannot 'cure' this because it isn't a disease. It's not some kind of illness that can be whisked away with a quick zap of healing energy. I can, however, help him overcome the symptoms."

Tal snorted.

"So you say no, it isn't a sickness with one breath and yes with the next? Can I get a clear answer here?"

"If you like, I will explain exactly what is going on with Touya. Throughout an ice demon's childhood, their body stores every last ounce of aura it creates. Due to the very nature of our being, we don't build up aura as quickly as others can make it, so there isn't some kind of internal overload. Upon reaching early adolescence, an ice youkai's energy is sufficient enough to manifest in the traditional sense. Truly powerful apparitions, ones born with this kind of strength, have far more aura at this time. Touya had no ability to cope with it; his body couldn't build up enough defenses to keep that kind of power in check. Therefore, it is leaking out of him. But since his body can't properly channel it yet, instead of harmlessly melting into thin air as would be expected, it is trapped within him with nowhere to go. His energy needs to get out of his body or else run the risk of ripping it to shreds from the inside out," Tariel explained.

"So, how do we fix that?" Tal wondered.

"For starters, I can create a temporary patch in his aura, holding it like it should be. However, as I know from personal experience, feeling another's aura within you can be uncomfortable. And either way, it wouldn't last for long. Touya will have to learn how to create these defenses for himself with his own aura. I can train him in the ways of ice manipulation, if you like."

My heart skipped a slow beat at that. I could actually learn how to use this? This wild energy, uncontrollable by me…I could tame it?

"I-I really could?" I stammered.

He nodded, eyes distant.

"And you'll learn how to use your aura, and how to wield a sword, and how to move with not a sound, and how best to camouflage yourself in open ground. So much more, too," Tariel promised.

"Shishi and I are going to love this!" I declared, tugging on Tal's sleeve and grinning ear to ear. "He's always wanted to try more swordsmanship techniques, and he'll love the rest of it! Think of it, Tal! The two of us together, training to be great warriors."

The ebony-haired man frowned.

"This 'Shishi', you said that he was half bird and half vampire?"

I nodded, suddenly less eager.

"Can he control wind or earth or ice or something, too?"

"No… But he can shapeshift into a little owl-like creature."

"I'm afraid he can't come," Tariel said.

I was trapped within a web that I myself had spun, and only now did I realize that the strings were as hard as steel and as binding as chains. The chance to become what I had always dreamed of, to be strong and control my aura was on one claw; staying with my best friend in a tiny backwater town where I'd never amount to anything was on the other. It was all but impossible to make. If I stayed where I was, I'd have to live the rest of my life knowing that I'd passed up the opportunity to become more than a powerless ice youkai. That is, if my ki didn't tear me apart first. If I went, however, I'd be alone in the world again, and I could very well never see Shishi again.

"What am I supposed to do?" I whispered.

"When it all is cleared up, it's your friend or your life," the shinobi bluntly stated. "True, you may survive the pain and trials of your aura, although the chances of that are slim to none. If you do, then there will have been no reason to leave. If you don't, then you die. Why take the risk? Besides, we could always visit Shishi and Cotalyn every now and then. It wouldn't be like you were abandoning them."

I toyed with my hair, fiddling with it. Despite his assurances, I wasn't fully willing to leave. After all, that was my home. It was the only place, as far as I could remember, that I had lived in. Finally, I slowly nodded. "I suppose."

"Great! Now, Cotalyn, what do you think? Is there anything wrong with this?"

"Well…what will it be like? Touya needs a lot of attention. He has…special needs, so to speak," the bat demon said. I blushed at this, cheeks turning bright red. How could he say that?

"Hm? What's wrong with him?"

"There's nothing wrong with him!" Tal hurriedly cut in. _Thank you!_ I thought. "He's just a bit different. Touya's very sensitive; he can't take insults at all." _Well…it is the truth…_ "Depending on the situation, he could snap at you," _Hey! I would not!_ "or, more likely, hang his head and go sit alone in his room. Whatever you do, don't laugh at him, even if he's being unintentionally funny. It's not pretty to see at all, watching little Touya's shoulders slump in defeat and everything. He's also incredibly insecure. Touya just doesn't believe in himself." _Too bad it's all true…_

"Oh…well, that's fine. He'll gain confidence in himself easily, and as for insulting him, I wouldn't do it," the other assured. "Does he have any major fears or such?"

"I'm claustrophobic," I admitted. "I can't stand being in small places."

"Why? There's nothing wrong with them."

I didn't want to say anymore. Pleadingly, I glanced at Tal, hoping that he'd tell him so that I wouldn't have to.

"He almost died from the cold when he was trapped in a gully in the middle of winter. Being an ice youkai, I don't think that he _could_ be afraid of the cold or something," Tal filled in.

"Ah…Well, I'm sure that I could work with him so that he would overcome that."

I stiffened.

"You can't make me go in there!" I exclaimed. "I will _not_ go in a small place!"

I was aware that I sounded like a petulant little kid, but I couldn't help it. I _hated_ confining spaces. There was no way that I was going to put up with them.

The other ice apparition sighed, shaking his head.

"How old is Touya? Twenty two, twenty three?" he asked.

I bristled with indignation. There was no way that I was such a young child! That would put me at about seven years old to a human.

"I'm thirty two," I said.

There was a period of awkward silence, before Tariel cleared his throat.

"Yes…anyway… We'll work with that. Rest assured, I won't put you in some tiny place."

Right then, a rend appeared in reality, and Vaifar stepped through.

"I am here," he announced.

"Well… I suppose I'll be coming with you," Tariel declared.

"I suppose so…"

The yaminade nodded, and the four of us headed back into Gandara.

The flight home was uneventful. I had to fly pillion with Tal, sitting in front of him in a saddle built for one, but it wasn't too uncomfortable. We set down in the stables about a day later; I was a bit stiff but otherwise fine.

"You'd best say goodbye to Shishi," Tal whispered, nudging me along as he took Tariel back to our house. I nodded, stepping towards the half-bird apparition's house. Instead of heedlessly rushing down the path, I paid perfect attention. This could be the last time I ever walked this path, at least for a long time.

The trees always were so beautiful. They were mostly a dark green, although there were a few orangey ones. The leaves were enormous, fan-shaped ones. I had always liked the trees near his house… There was a hard-packed dirt path that led up to his training field. Long, knee-length grass that had always tickled me grew in the meadow. At this time of year, it was dead, brown grass, but in the spring it was a wonderful light green, and it waved in the wind. A few handmade training dummies lay in pieces in the field, while others still remained standing.

I paced over to the door, and knocked twice, before stepping back. The lavender-eyed demon opened the door, grinning.

"Well, Blue, how'd it go?"

"They couldn't help me. But…someone else could. He's a shinobi, and an ice master, too. He said he'd train me in using my aura! The problem is…I'd have to leave. I don't want to! I don't want to go away, because I know I'd miss you too much! But if I don't, my aura is going to rip me apart," I explained, sighing. "He said I could visit, but… I won't be the same."

"Blue? You're…leaving?" he asked, dumbfounded.

I nodded, sniffling.

"I'm going to miss you," he quietly said. "I guess I'll go back to swordsmanship training as well. I heard there was a really good kendo teacher nearby…" Shishi forced a grin. "Okay?"

"Shishi… You know that if I had my choice, I'd stay here with you."

"Aw, c'mon, you can't have me chain you down. Go live your dream, Blue. You want to be a strong warrior, so do it!" he prodded.

I frowned.

"Shishi, it's okay. I don't have to leave! I'll…learn how to use my aura on my own! Yeah! Then I can stay here, and I'll be just fine!"

"You know as well as I do that you can't do that, Blue. If you die because of me, I'd never be able to forgive myself. You know that. C'mon, it'll be fine. I was looking forward to leaving anyway."

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course! This place is in the middle of nowhere. I want to find fame, prove myself to be a great warrior, earn all the recognition and such that I deserve. Now that you're leaving, I've got no real reason to stay here. So… It works out for all of us."

I halfheartedly smiled, hugging him.

"Thanks."

"Hey, no prob, Blue. Anyway… Wait here for a sec, okay?"

I nodded as the swordsman darted back into his house. After a bit, he returned, one hand behind his back.

"Turn around, Blue, and shut your eyes."

I complied, waiting for him to show me. Something cool touched the front of my neck, and I felt Shishi's unusually warm hands fumbling with something on the back of my neck. I still wasn't used to my lower body temperature. Shishi stepped back.

"I was saving this for your birthday, but now seems much better. You can open your eyes now!"

I looked down. A single ivory-colored fang rested against my chest. It was held in by a thin metal wire, connecting it to a braided black leather necklace.

"Wow! This is wonderful, Shishi! Thanks!" I exclaimed, clutching the fang in my hand.

"Yeah, it was one of my own. What with how much you care about fangs and luck, I figured you'd like one for yourself. So, you know, I found one of mine that I had lost, and got the rest of it made by the leatherworker and the blacksmith," he said with a grin. "Plus, since I'm half vampire that is one _huge_ tooth for you to have. Not many can beat that size."

"You never cease to amaze me, Shishi."

"Yeah, well, I'm an amazing guy. Now go, Blue! You've got ice to master."

"Goodbye."

"Yeah. Bye."

I smiled that lopsided smile of mine, and stepped down the path to my home. This was it. It was time for me to learn how to use ice!

* * *

Yeah...no Jin in this chapter, unfortunately. However, I promise Jin in chapter eleven. Promise. I think it was a happy little chapter... Some things were wrapped up, and Touya's finally stepping down the path to doing something useful. Plotline! If the whole aura thing was a little unclear, it will be elaborated on. I (hopefully) always do, right? Anyway, review please! 


	11. Homesickness

For SwisArmyRomance, who so much wanted to see Jin. -grins- Now read! You know you want to.

* * *

We left the very next day. The sudden realization that we were actually leaving behind my whole life and all that I had known within it numbed my mind. It was as if some other person was making the trek, not me at all. This was how I imagined a book would look like if it were acted out. This other Touya, as I saw it, was the one sleeping on hard ground, eating trail food and walking miles each day. It wasn't me. 

The journey, for that was indeed what it was, commenced in almost complete silence. I was fine with this, since my whole world had just been turned upside down. This…I didn't know what I was supposed to do. After all, he pretty much just grabbed me by the hand and led me off. I would have expected to be jumpy and nervous, but instead I was rather numbed. My mind was kind of hazy, and I barely even noticed the trip or the surroundings. In truth, I was worried, for myself and for how Shishi would handle my absence.

The ice master had kept true to his word and had patched up my aura; that was just about the only thing I took in from the trip. The constant feeling of his energy contained within me was annoying, irking. It reminded me of the feeling of Shishi's fangs in my skin. The pain was not there, but the sensation of having something foreign stuck inside me was persistent.

I was in a daze of sorts, and I couldn't remember whether we were on day one or day two, or even if we were even in the original week. The only thing I could remember of the passage of time was watching the sunset on two occasions, so I knew it had been about that long. Other than that, I was clueless. Something told me that it was longer than that, though. He tried to get me to talk a few times, halfhearted attempts at conversation, but I didn't feel like talking. I needed time to think.

As we climbed the final lengths of a great mountain, I finally snapped out of the reverie I was stuck in. It was as if I was seeing the surroundings for the first time, even though we had been walking through them for the past couple of hours. Enormous trees that were so huge that if I tried to wrap my arms around them they'd only make it a quarter of the way, if that, peppered the mountainside. They were all a uniform dark green, and the strong scent of pine needles was prevalent. That and the clean, crisp air showed that we were nowhere near any form of civilization. To tell the truth, I was finding myself favoring the wilderness as opposed the city life; it seemed so much more _right_ for some reason. The ground was uneven, with tree roots sticking up and the occasional rock. To my surprise, my feet were both bleeding. I hadn't felt a thing.

The earth leveled out, and there before me was what I assumed was Tariel's house. It was smaller than even Tal and my house, which certainly wasn't large, and it was made almost exclusively out of stone. The roof was made of wood, and a few windows were in there, but it wasn't much to look out. A virtually silent stream flowed to the side, which was quite convenient for fetching water or bathing. Still, it had a rather satisfying look to it. I could see a small meadow behind the plants, and a forest grew around the rest of it. The sky was a dark, nighttime blue, and I could even see a few pinpricks of light in it. I wondered what those little lights could be. Never before had I seen something even remotely close to them. In short, I was completely entranced.

"You like the stars, do you?" he pleasantly said.

"Stars…they're pretty," I murmured, at a loss for words.

"Yes, they are, aren't they? Now, you need a bath, Touya. You're filthy from the trip. Go get washed up, okay?"

Snapping out of the almost-trance, I nodded slowly, taking a few steps towards aforementioned river. Glancing around to see if anyone was looking, I stripped, wading into the water. It was bitingly cold, and I couldn't help but shiver, despite my natural resistance to the cold. I dipped my head under the water, shaking out the long mane of hair I had. Running my fingers through the tangled mess, I glanced down, catching a glimpse of my reflection. My fingers stilled in mid-comb, and I stared at the slightly distorted image of myself.

Slanted, almond-shaped eyes stared back at me; the same ones that I always wished had been red. I hadn't seen my own reflection in a bit, and I was shocked, to say the least. My light blue hair was down past my shoulders, per usual, and it was a matted, tangled mess. Shishi would've had a stroke if he had seen me. The mint green bangs that partially obscured my left eye were unkempt, stuck together by grime and mud and who knows what else. My face was filthy, a dusky tan instead of its usual pale color, and I rubbed at a smear of blackish dirt under my right eye. For some reason, I couldn't remember what I had done in the long walk to get this dirty.

Shaking my head, little droplets of water flying everywhere, I brought my attention back to making myself look semi-decent. Dunking my head, I washed as much of the dirt off as possible, leaving my skin as lightly colored as it usually was. I returned to the taming of my hair.

Finished, I reached for my clothes. To my surprise, instead of my usual vest and such that Tal had made for me, new, homespun clothes sat folded neatly on the bank. At first, I just blinked. I liked my old clothes. I blushed, realizing that Tariel would've had to come out here to bring the outfit. I could only hope he had enough decency to look away. Glancing around to see if anyone was there, I climbed out of the water, shaking myself like a dog. I quickly changed into the new clothes and started towards the stone house.

I ate dinner, some sort of stew, before deciding to go to sleep. Whether or not I had felt the trip, I was still exhausted from it. Politely excusing myself from the table, I left, heading down the hall to the only room on the right, the one that Tariel said was all my own. It was sparsely furnished, with nothing but a bookcase, a trunk for storing possessions, and a mattress. Puzzled, I cocked my head to the side. I was supposed to live in here? Where was the rest of the stuff?

Shaking my head, I figured that everything would be sorted out eventually. As of right now, I was tired. Yawning, I went to where my wardrobe used to be out of habit. Seeing nothing but a blank wall, I reminded myself that I didn't have any pajamas here. I slept in what I wore, right? I pulled back the blankets on the mattress, and crawled into bed.

That was when the full weight of this hit me. This wasn't my bed. It felt a bit too fluffy, as if I was sinking into it, and I shifted, uncomfortable. The blankets were slightly starchy, in my opinion, and they didn't provide the warmth my old ones did. Rolling over, so that I lay on my stomach, I could feel that the pillow was not quite puffed up enough for my liking. The rust reddish bloodstain that was on my old one from when I had lost a tooth about a year ago was absent. I didn't like it much. _This wasn't my bed._

The room didn't smell right, either. My old room smelled like _me_; therefore, I couldn't smell a thing. This room had all sorts of unfamiliar scents, though. Each person has their own unique smell, the same as each individual species of demon, and Tariel's scent was the predominant one in the room. That sort of basil aroma mixed with that smell of fresh air hung about all ice youkai (I wasn't sure about me, but it was probably so as well) also was present, mingling with the variants in the shinobi's odor. Gone was the vanilla scent of Tal, and I couldn't catch so much as a whiff of the lemony-coppery smell of the half-vampire. The room even _smelled_ wrong!

I couldn't hear the humming of the bat demon as he worked on whatever new outfit he was making that day; it wasn't there. Flute birds, which were native to lower lands, had always sung near this time of night, but their melodious singing, the lullaby I had grown up to, was gone. Instead, an odd three-note trill broke the stillness of the night. The usual chatter of insects was, thankfully, there, although the crickets weren't out. I supposed they, too, were gone…

It _wasn't my room_. Utter homesickness settled in, gripping my heart and mind as surely as a vise. I missed my old bed, my old home, and everything familiar that came with it. This just wasn't the same.

I buried my face in the pillow –not my pillow, but _the_ pillow– and started to cry. I couldn't help it. Everything here was too weird. There wasn't Tal, there wasn't Shishi, and there wasn't anything that I knew! Tears slowly meandered down my cheeks, which had always been a bit too chubby for my liking, and dotted the snow-white pillow with spots of salty wetness.

* * *

"Touya. Touya, wake up!" someone said, shaking my shoulder.

"Tal…five more minutes," I murmured, snuggling into the warm blankets. That was right when I realized that it wasn't Tal and that I couldn't have "five more minutes". I was training to be a shinobi, so I needed to learn how to get up on time.

"Sorry, Tariel!" I hastily amended, sitting up.

"We have to meet with the others in a couple of hours. Get ready for the little walk, okay?"

"Huh?" I unintelligently replied.

He sighed, shaking his head.

"We're going to be meet the other shinobi. We'll leave here in a couple of minutes. I need to show you to them all," he explained.

I didn't like being treated like a prized saber wolf, being led around and showed off. This whole thing, actually, was starting to get on my nerves. I just wanted to go home!

Instead of protesting, though, I did what I usually would; silently submit to the treatment and whatnot. It wasn't in my nature to argue.

"Okay, so we're going to see the other shinobi and their students, too. The masters probably won't bother you, but if they do, look them in the eyes and answer their questions. Then you can go play with the other students; they're about your age. Hold yourself with pride and act honorable, and you should do just fine."

I nodded again. My heart wasn't in this, though. I wanted to go home so badly that I didn't really care much about this.

Still, the trip was every bit as breathtaking as the view I had seen earlier. As we walked down from his mountain abode, I was blessed with a stunning view of a mighty forest hundreds of feet below us, with a clear blue river snaking throughout it. Mountains rose up through the thin mist that clung in the air, and the sun peeked out over the horizon. Altogether, it was perfectly gorgeous.

I was too busy staring at our surroundings to notice the journey itself, and soon I found us coming to a halt.

"Just another five minutes or so and we'll be there," Tariel told me. "Remember respect, Touya."

I nodded, not really paying much attention. That is, until we reached a gap in the trees.

In the clearing stood four other adults. One, with viridian green scales and reptilian silver eyes reminded me of a bipedal, wingless dragon. His tail lazily swished from side as he watched the path we had walked on, every now and then darting out his tongue to taste the air. Another, a tall brunette with unkempt hair and with a pair of wolf's ears poking out from the top of his head, was drawing some sort of picture in the dirt with his foot. Another looked like a minotaur, coal black fur covering his whole body, and the last looked like a heavily tattooed human. All in all, the impression was daunting.

"Tariel! Glad to see you made it," the dragon spoke in a sibilant voice.

"Well, I'm the one who called the meeting," he replied loosely.

"True, true," the minotaur rumbled. "Your student doesn't look like he's up to it."

"I assure you, he's fine," Tariel argued, his tone icy.

I didn't bother to agree or argue. Distant, I stared at the sky.

"Does he even have emotions?" the reptilian demon asked.

"Yes, he does! I think he's just a little homesick right now."

"Uh-huh. He's not reacting at all to anything we're saying. Could it be that he's as icy as the element you both control?" the painted youkai airily asked.

"No, he's quite expressive, I assure you," Tariel said. "Go on, Touya, show them."

I blinked, and slowly turned my head to look at them.

"What do you expect me to say?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

A grin spread over the wolf-eared one's face.

"He's amusing!"

"Never mind," the dragon demon grunted.

"Go see if the others want to play with you, okay?" Tariel whispered. "Tai's student, the one over there, seems like he's nice. Why don't you go say hi?"

I nodded, looking over at the other students. One was fairly tall, with greasy-looking jet black hair, and he was talking with another, a colossal demon with small, beady eyes. The first, the apparent leader of the two, had a look of interest on his face. He was currently watching me with attentive eyes, despite his look of nonchalance. I decided that I didn't like them much, and I looked for the other two. One, who looked rather pale-skinned with a bandana tied around his head and clawed feet, was sitting down on a rock, reading a book. He had been the one Tariel had pointed out to me. He seemed to be the least frightening of the bunch, so I thought that if I had to approach one of them, it would be him. For some reason, though, I couldn't find the last one. If there were four masters, there should be four students.

Shrugging, I dropped my gaze back to my feet. They were of no concern of mine.

"What'cha doin' back here?" someone cheerfully asked me in a heavily accented voice. I turned around, and saw who I assumed to be the last one. The only problem was he was upside down! A shock of untamed red hair hung down, and sapphire blue eyes were level with my own. Long, pointed ears were twitching every now and then, and a goofy grin was spread across his face, complete with a single fang sticking out of the corner of his mouth. Strangely enough, he wasn't hanging onto anything; he was simply floating there.

I blinked a little, startled by his sudden appearance, before dropping my gaze back to my feet. I was determined to ignore them all. I didn't want to be bothered.

"What's wron'?" he asked, landing on the ground.

I figured that if I didn't respond, he'd go away.

"Come on, could yeh talk ta me? I just wanted ta say 'hi' 'cause there's nothin' ta do when they have those meetin's an' they just talk an' don' give us anythin' ta do and since Risho's a real jerk, an' he makes fun o' me 'cause o' my ears an' stuff, I don' want ta play with him an' Gama's always wrapped up in some book or another, an' yeh can' get him ta do anythin' an' Bakken's about as smart as that rock over there, plus he han's out with Risho, so I just figured since yeh were standin' over here all by yerself an' yeh didn' look like yeh were havin' fun either, that I'd come over an' see who yeh were an' if yeh wanted ta play with me," he rambled.

"Fascinating," I sarcastically replied, not looking up.

"Fine. Be like that," he muttered, stalking off. "I was just tryin' ta be yer friend."

I shifted my weight from foot to foot, uncomfortable. I didn't want to talk with him, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings, either. Still…inaction seemed to be the best action, and I didn't say anything, only staring after his retreating form.

He turned around, looking at me again. His large, cobalt eyes were misting up, and it looked like he was about to cry. Those elflike ears of his were drooping, hanging down so that it was a wonder that they weren't touching his shoulders. I couldn't take it; he looked so upset, and I knew that it was because I was being selfish.

"Wait! Don't go," I called out. It just wasn't in me to be cruel.

His eyes brightened up, and his ears popped back up to their usual position.

"But I thought yeh didn' want ta talk ta me," he said, puzzled.

"I'm sorry. I just miss my old home, my old friend… I had wanted to be alone."

"Wanted ta be alone? Who wants ta be alone? Friends are good!"

I shook my head.

"Well…I suppose," I consented.

"I'm Jin!" he announced, grinning. In his excitement, he began to float again.

"Touya," I replied.

"See? I can' understand why anyone would miss their home, though! I couldn' wait ta get out o' mine!" he jabbered.

"Why would you want to? I lived my whole life in one town, and I didn't really want to leave. My house is there, Tal is there, Shishi's there…"

"Tal? Shishi? Who're they?" he asked.

"Shishi, which was short for Shishiwakamaru, was my best friend. He was always so funny, and he kept me company. I wish he were here… Tal was my guardian," I said.

"Guardian? Does that mean that he protected yeh from people? Are yeh like a prince or somethin'? Wow! I've never met a prince before. An' since yeh are followin' the ice master… Yeh're an ice prince! Wow!" he exclaimed.

"No," I corrected. "I'm not. I'm an ice youkai, yes. Royalty, no. I'm just a peasant boy with nowhere to go."

"Oh… But if yeh aren' royalty, then why would yeh have a guardian?"

"I'm an orphan. My parents are who knows where, and Tal took me in, making him my guardian."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. At least I had someone adopt me," I replied. "Thanks for talking to me, but like I said, I'd rather be alone."

"Well, 'kay, then, but yeh got ta watch out for Risho," he warned.

"Which one's Risho?" I asked.

"The one with the real greasy hair an' that cockiness o' his. Him. Over there," he pointed. "He's kind o' manipulatin'.

At that very moment, the demon he was talking about sauntered over, the taller, more physically imposing youkai following him. I guessed that the other was Bakken, since the only other apparition (other than the shinobi, of course) here was reading a book; Jin had said that Gama always had his nose in a book, so that couldn't be the dumb-as-a-rock Bakken.

"Well, well, look at what we have here. Who do you think you are, to dare claim you have what it takes to be a shinobi?" the clear leader of the two asked.

"I am me, for what that's worth."

"What's your name?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Touya," I replied.

"What kind of a name is that?"

"I don't know."

"That was a rhetorical question. Don't you know anything?"

"Is that a rhetorical question, too?" I sarcastically asked.

"Of course it was."

I blinked. Risho didn't seem as bad as Jin had said…

Right then, the greasy-haired youkai reached out and lightly pinched me on the cheek.

"You're like a little kid! Hey, Jin, do you mind if I keep him?" he asked.

"No one's goin' ta _keep_ him! He's a demon being!" the redhead protested.

I shook my head at this. It was weird…

"Sheesh, I was just kidding," Risho replied. "Can't you take a joke? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go commune with my element. Haven't done it in a good long while, and I need to."

With that, he turned on his heel, walking off.

"Commune with his element? What did he mean?" I wondered.

Jin fell off of his cushion of air.

"Yeh don' know anythin' about communin' with yer own element?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"All elemental masters have ta spend some time just gettin' in tune with their element. Like me, a wind manipulator. Yeh just have ta get close ta yer element, then just sort o' slip in ta a trancelike state where yer mind's all blank. It feels all warm an' fuzzy. Yeh get more in touch with it, feel better. Yer powers are stron'er afterwards, fer a little bit, an' yeh feel so much more alive! But then if yeh go a while without doin' it, then yeh feel kind o' weak. Eventually, it gets ta the point that yeh can' live without communin', if yeh wait lon' enough. Yer energy, which is bound ta yer body, is also bound ta the element it is. Without access ta it, it'll kill yeh by makin' yer energy – demon an' life – go kaput! So…it's pretty important. I guess yeh aren' close enough ta yer element yet ta have ta do that…"

"I see… What's Risho the master of, then?"

"Earth. He's real lucky, 'cause there's almost always some dirt or somethin' around. Same with me, 'cause whenever yeh're under the sky there's goin' ta be some wind. Ice is kind o' hard ta reach, though. I guess that's why I have way less endurance than the icy man, huh? 'Cause it's harder to reach an' whatnot, so yeh're body is more resistant to the effects. I dunno."

I nodded. Communing, ninjas, and a hyperactive wind youkai…what was next?

* * *

I'm trying to make Risho a tiny bit less bastardy, but I'm not sure if I'll succeed... I mean, he can't just be an abusive SOB that likes hurting Touya. He's got to have a reason and a personality. So...I hope I can make him a tad bit more realistic. Well...yeah. Review, peeps! 


	12. Annoying Irish Demons

Yet another chapter of mine. I have nothing to say, other than the fact that I'm currently wearing faded blue jeans and a rainbow sweater.

* * *

"So, uh…what now?" Jin asked.

I shook my head, shrugging. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing _period_, let alone knowing trivial things such as how to entertain a jovial wind demon.

"Why don' yeh talk much?" he pressed. "Seems ta me like yeh just answer anythin' yeh can with gestures. Yeh can' express much with gestures, boyo, so why don' yeh talk?"

"Boyo?" I echoed, unfamiliar with the term. "What does that mean?"

"Yeh know, just kind o' like a buddy or somethin'."

_Must be part of his dialect,_ I figured. _I suppose my accent, for I surely have one, to him, at least, seems no less strange._

I nodded, musing over my own words. Did they actually sound as strange to him as his voice sounded to me? It was an unusual thought. Perhaps they did, or perhaps not. I wouldn't know without asking him, which I was assuredly not going to do.

"So, why don' yeh talk? C'mon, yeh can at least answer."

I shrugged.

"It's a habit, I guess. Words aren't really my thing," I explained.

"But yer words seem so nice!" he protested. "Each one o' them seems chosen 'specially for that one sentence, an' like if someone else said them they wouldn' seem the same. Do yeh know what I mean?"

I shook my head. Jin seemed so random at times…

"See? Yeh still aren' talkin'!"

'I'm sorry. As I already said, I don't particularly care for talking."

"Sure thin', ice prince."

"Would you please stop calling me that?" I asked. "I've already told you that I'm no royalty, and I certainly don't deserve to be treated as such."

"Yeh're a weird one, Touya," he commented in a resigned voice.

I said nothing, turning away. It wasn't that I was annoyed with the cheerful demon; I just wanted my peace and quiet. Shishi was the only one who was allowed to intrude upon my personal solitude, and even then he knew better than to jabber at me when I was caught up in my thoughts. Not that Shishi ever _jabbered_. No, the way he talked was simply too entrancing –or relevant—to be jabbering.

"Touya?"

"What is it?" I asked, trying hard to keep myself from snapping at him.

"Yeh just stopped talkin'."

I shrugged again, pointedly taking a step away from him.

"Why don' yeh like me?" he asked. "Yeh just keep tryin' ta ignore me, an' I don' know why."

"It's not that I don't like you," I told him. "I just need my space."

"Yeah, yeah… But yeh don' have ta be so rude about it."

"What?" I exclaimed in disbelief. Me? Rude? _He_ was the one who came right up to me, then proceeded to pester me despite all attempts to get rid of him!

"Yeh don' have ta be so rude," he repeated.

"No, I mean why are you calling _me_ rude?" I asked, barely managing to keep my composure.

"'Cause yeh're bein' mean ta me."

"No, Jin," I sighed. "I just told you that I like to have my alone time."

"But why have it in the middle o' a nice chitchat?" he pressed.

"If you recall correctly, I had been standing on my own, not bothering you at all, before you came over here and starting talking to me," I reminded him.

His ears drooped.

"Yeah, I guess…"

This time, I didn't follow him as he walked away, nor did I allow myself to look at him, for fear that his forlorn expression would alter my decision. I truly did feel bad about brushing the wind youkai off so callously, but what I said was true. I still hadn't had my time to think yet, and he had no need to bother me while I was trying to do so.

_There is little to friendship that I understand,_ I realized. _Yet from what I have seen, it is a wonderful thing to be treasured always. Where would I be now without Shishiwakamaru? Not anywhere I want to, that's for sure._ Unconsciously, my hand drifted to the fang necklace he had given me, and I clutched the tooth. _So why is it that when this Jin tries to be my friend, I brush him off? I guess it's because the pain of loss is still fresh in my heart and mind. I had the best friend I could wish for, and because of my accursed ice powers I had to leave him behind. I blame myself for this._

_But is it really my fault? _I wondered. _Did I have any real say in the matter? I _needed _to go, to save my life. That wasn't my decision. But I can't try to rationalize my way out of this. I was the one who agreed with hardly a word in Shishi's defense. This is just so confusing! What I'd give to have Shishi here to help me…but isn't that the problem to begin with? If he were here, then I wouldn't be having this problem. But I need him to help me get through this! Ugh! Why is it that everything in my life is so confusing?_

I shook my head vigorously, mint green bangs flying every which way. Sighing, my shoulders slumped with defeat and I stared at my bare feet. I knew that thinking such questions would only bother me and lead me in circles, like a stupid dog chasing its tail. Even if that dog did catch it, what would it do? All it would end up with would be its own tail in its mouth! I shook my head again.

"What's wron'?" Jin asked, suddenly right beside me. I had been so thoroughly wrapped up in my thoughts; I hadn't even noticed him there. This time, though, I didn't shrug him off.

"Nothing," I replied, although the heavy sigh that followed it belied my words.

"Are yeh sure? 'Cause yeh were sighin' and actin' all funny. I know yeh don' want me ta be buggin' yeh, but yeh just looked like yeh needed my help."

"I'm only bothered by my own thoughts, and I'm more than used to that," I told him, shrugging. It was the truth, after all.

"Why bother thinkin' all that if yeh only end up irritatin' yerself?" he asked.

"I enjoy thinking," I murmured, choosing my words carefully. "It gives me… a release… from the world, and it lets me come to terms with myself."

"A release? What do yeh mean by that?"

"I just feel tied down, weighted by too much. I imagine myself in more favorable situations, or I think up little games or stories, and it doesn't feel so bad. It cheers me up," I explained. _Why am I telling him this?_

"But if it cheers yeh up, then why're yeh sad right now?" he wondered.

"Sometimes it makes me feel melancholy, and, for the first time, nostalgic. I miss my old home, my old friend, and my old life. I just want to go back home."

"Then why don' yeh just go back?" he asked, puzzled.

"It's not that simple," I sighed. "My energy is literally ripping me apart from the inside out. Without Master Tariel's help, I face the very real danger of an incredibly painful death. I've already felt the stab of pain from an earlier, and, according to Master Tariel, less severe, fit of it. If I go back, I'll die. I wonder, though: is the pain of this aura-trouble any less stabbing than the pain of loneliness? I'm not sure."

He stood there, a confused expression on his face.

"I dunno," he decided. "Loneliness has never been much o' a problem for me. An' I've never had my energy attackin' me. I think the aura stuff sounds worse, though."

I could see that he thought that pain of the body was worse than pain of the heart. I wasn't too sure what to do with this information. After all, I didn't even know where I stood on the issue.

"I guess I'm annoyed," I admitted, more to myself than to Jin. "I'm sorely out of place, even while I'm where I'm supposed to be. A never ending paradox, around and around in a square without corners, forever red and blue and yellow dancing in a world of black and white, burning fury in the middle of winter. I don't get it. I'm an ice demon with fiery, passionate feelings, yet at the same time I'm like a fire demon with a heart of ice. I'm forever caught in this broken circle, like a bird stranded in the air. I don't get it!"

"That didn' make sense," he declared, clearly missing the point. "Aren' squares supposed ta have corners?"

I sighed.

"Never mind, Jin. It was just a thought."

"But yeh put yer heart inta those words. It had ta have meant somethin'!"

"No…it was nothing," I lied, hoping that he wouldn't notice the bluff.

"If yeh say so," he responded, unconvinced, or at least he sounded that way to me. I never had been too good at reading others' emotions.

Inwardly, I sighed. At least he had dropped the subject.

Jin brought his face level with mine, so close that our noses almost touched, and placed one hand on each of my shoulders, staring at me intently. Those sapphire eyes of his unnerved me. I sprang back, amazed at his daring. To _touch_ me, to come that close to me, without my permission was annoying. Coupled with the fact that we had only met mere minutes ago…

"What was that?" I demanded, stepping back a bit more to prevent another such incident. I didn't like being touched.

"I was just thinkin' that yeh have real unusual eyes," he replied.

"Yes, I do!" I snapped, finally pushed over my tolerance limit. "Thanks _so_ much for bringing up a rather sensitive subject!"

He looked hurt for a second, before an irritated expression spread over his features. I was aware that my words had stung, but at this point and time I wasn't concerned with his feelings. He just kept pressing me for information, asking me things I didn't want to answer, as though he were repeatedly poking an open wound. It bothered me.

"Well, how was I s'posed ta know?" he shot back, glaring. The angered expression did not suit his usually jovial face. "It's not like yeh will talk enough for me ta find out anythin' 'bout yeh!"

"Well maybe I don't want to talk to you!" I yelled. "Did you ever think of that?"

"Who says _I_ want ta talk ta _yeh_?"

"I wouldn't want to even if you did!"

"Well I don'!"

"Good!"

"Yeah!"

We stood there in silence for a bit, glaring at each other, before I felt that odd sensation take over me. My body was flooded with warmth, and I felt a surge of energy. My slight figure was haloed in brilliant lime green. The air temperature dropped drastically around me, and I gulped, knowing what was coming.

A crackling bolt of pure energy struck the ground at Jin's feet, freezing it solid in a second. He immediately took to the air, trying to keep himself away from the uncontrollable ice energy. Risho eyed me with curiosity as another beam of green shot from me, colliding with a tree.

"No, no!" I cried. "Not now!"

The five masters were staring at me. Even Gama had put down his book to study the psychotic ice apparition that had just started attacking trees. Tariel quickly recovered from his shock, though, and moved to control the damage. I felt his soft lavender energy loop around my own, restraining it. Aura leaked out of my body, as Tariel sapped it to prevent me from hurting myself or others. My head felt light, even as the ice master withdrew, and I fell to my knees, glacial eyes slowly shutting. Pure, numbing whiteness took up my mind, even as I knew that I would remain conscious.

I was ashamed of myself. I had lost control of my ki in front of the others, and I had assuredly disgraced my teacher. Were it not for how cold and weak I suddenly felt, I feared that I would have cried.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, silently asking me to leave this comforting whiteness, to see what was going on. I was not sure; this felt good now, to not feel a thing. I wasn't too sure… But whoever was there persisted, shaking me. Groggily, I opened my eyes, turning to look at the one.

"He's goin' ta be okay, right?" Jin asked worriedly, looking down at me.

I raised an eyebrow, wondering why he had bothered to come to me when I had yelled at him mere moments before.

"Yes. He's just fatigued," Tariel assured, stepping over.

A blush was painted over my pale cheeks, coloring them a shade of red that had previously been reserved for phoenix apparitions. I stammered over an apology, shrinking under eight pairs of accusing eyes. In Jin's, though, there was only sympathy. Blushing all the more at his look of pity, I wearily pulled myself to my feet. Bereft of my strength, though, I promptly stumbled and would've fallen over had Jin not caught me. The Irish youkai's reflexes were impressive; he managed to grab me around my waist, steady my fall, slip one of my arms around his neck and hold onto my wrist so that he could support my minimal weight all before I had managed to throw my arms out in front of me to break my fall.

"Thanks," I shyly murmured, face still hot.

"Aw, don' mention it," he replied.

"Well, we still have several points to cover," the tattooed youkai pointed out. "Why don't we finish talking about those and call it a day?"

The others murmured their consent, although the wolf-eared apparition appeared a bit more than eager to get out of here. Perhaps he was as bored as Jin had been?

"Do yeh think yeh can stand?" the flame-haired demon asked.

"Not sure," I replied. "Why don't we sit down instead?"

I could _feel_ the grin on his face at my word choice. 'Why don't _we_ sit down', not 'set me down' or such. I still couldn't explain it, though. I couldn't see his face from this angle, and I didn't know enough about the youkai to predict his actions that precisely. Something in me told me that he was smiling, though. Mentally shrugging, I allowed him to fuss over my momentary spell of weakness.

"Could yeh tell me what happened?" he asked.

I nodded slowly.

"My energy is tightly connected with my emotions, or so Tal believes. Whenever I feel a particularly strong emotion, it has activated my aura… I can't control it, not one bit. In fact" I chuckled dryly at this point "I couldn't even so much as chill a drink intentionally."

"Oh," he breathed. "I'm sorry."

I didn't want or need his pity.

"Don't be," I said, a sharp note in my voice.

He shrugged, dropping the subject, for which I was glad. I didn't want to continue down that path. Pity was, to me, annoying and irritating. Having someone feel sorry for me for little to no reason… I detested it.

"So, uh, yeh mentioned yer old town? What was it like?"

"Later, Jin, perhaps later," I replied. The memories were still too fresh in my mind, and thinking over all that I had lost, for it surely would not be the same, was not something I desired.

"Whatever yeh say," he murmured.

I tensed at that, struck by a serious spell of déjà vu. I forced myself to relax, though, reminding myself that Shishi did not own those words, and that Jin could not have known. It was just an odd coincidence…

"At least he hasn't started calling me Blue," I whispered.

"What was that?" he wondered, turning to look at me.

"Nothing… It was nothing…"

* * *

Woo, Touya was being kind of mean to Jin, wasn't he? I guess I just prefer Touya when he's got an attitude... I mean, look at how sarcastic he was in his fight with Kujoo, and how teasing he had been in his fight with Kurama. He surely is an interesting guy. Although his whole unruffled attitude is cute, too. Like how when Jin was picking on him in the Makai Tournament, he only chuckled and said, "Whatever." Very cute. Yay for Touya! Oh, yeah, review please! 


	13. Ice Techniques And Rather Heavy Demons

Hey there, everyone. Sorry it's taking me so long to reply to reviews; my internet has been dead since Sunday and we only just fixed it. But, you know, I think an update will make everyone feel better.

* * *

My energy was completely sapped. The drain on my aura was far too much for my body, and it was only through sheer force of will that I kept myself from passing out. No longer did I reply to Jin's constant pestering, for I feared that even the slightest lapse in concentration would knock me out as surely as a blow to the head. My eyelids felt heavy, far too heavy, as though they were made of lead.

"Hey, Touya, why're yeh actin' so funny? What's wron'?" he asked.

"Tired," I murmured, not elaborating any further. Even that simple statement was almost enough, and the period of time between blinks rapidly dwindled to the point where even opening my eyes for a second or two seemed as great an undertaking as challenging the Saint Beasts themselves. Granted, those four rulers were petty lords, mere pawns in comparison to the godlike might of Mukuro, Yomi, and Raizen, but they were still far more powerful than the common people.

"Why're yeh so tired? Was it that whole freezy-thin' yeh did earlier?"

I inclined my head slightly, hoping that he'd recognize the gesture.

"Oh…I'm never so wiped out when I use the wind. Why're yeh so tired from that? Huh?"

I didn't answer, not even finding it in me to keep my eyes open. This was pure bone-weary exhaustion, the sort that not even the most exciting of moments or the loudest of alarms could dispel.

"Are yeh too tired ta even reply? Is that it?" he pressed.

By the time my brain processed his question, I had already slipped into sleep.

* * *

_"Well, I didn't think I'd see you again!" a soft voice proclaimed._

_I wheeled around, only to see a familiar indigo-haired youkai._

_"Shishi?"_

_"Who else?" he replied. "I mean, really. No one else could possibly be this drop-dead good-looking, and couple those awesome looks with this great voice and amazing skill with the sword… No one else has this!"_

_"I missed you, too," I responded._

_"So, how'd it go, Blue? Did you learn some cool tricks? No pun intended," he assured with that fanged grin that I already missed._

_"No," I replied, crestfallen. "It turns out, I'm not an ice adept at all… They were wrong, and they couldn't help me much beyond fixing this."_

_"Not an ice adept? So you have no hope of becoming powerful?"_

_I shook my head, anxious._

_"Goodbye, then. I don't need a weak friend, Blue."_

_"What? But…what about all that time back at home?"_

_"Well, you served your purpose: a distraction, nothing more. Now that I have fame, strong allies, and all the girls I could ever want, what use do I have for a fangless weakling?" he asked._

_I couldn't stop the swordsman from turning and walking away any more than I could stop the tears rolling down my cheeks._

* * *

I bolted upright, breath coming in short gasps.

To my relief, I was lying in that too-soft bed with its not-as-warm blankets; I wasn't back in my village, and the ice master hadn't rejected me. I breathed a sigh, and wiped the beads of sweat off of my brow. It was just a nightmare.

Still, I was uneasy. What with my loss of control earlier, I was sure that Tariel would be, at the very least, angry with me. I shook my head vigorously, unruly bangs getting in the way. I knew that I'd have to face the raven-haired youkai eventually, and I'd rather get it over with now instead of having to fight my own guilt and fear for as long as it took to muster the courage to meet him, as I'd still have to confront Tariel, but it would only force me to endure the pain of a guilty conscience until then. No, I'd much rather talk with him now.

I climbed out of bed, feeling out my aura. It seemed fine enough, which hinted that I'd been asleep for quite a bit, but the faint lavender edge to it was all that I needed to see to be assured that Tariel had bolstered my ki to speed up my recovery. With careful, hesitant steps, I paced down the hallway, dreading the moment that I would see that trained warrior before me.

It came all too soon for my liking, the tall demon seeming to melt out of the shadows, invisible to my senses. I started, surprised, before the full weight of it hit me. He was right there, and he seemed so much more intimidating than I remembered…

"I-I'm sorry," I quickly apologized, waiting for whatever harsh punishment he would inflict upon me.

"Don't be. We both know that you couldn't have stopped that if you had tried," he replied, voice smooth. I was still apprehensive, nervous.

"But I messed up in front of all the others!" I meekly protested.

"So? Trust me, the others did no better when they were first judged before the council of the shinobi. Risho was so frightened that the very earth shook beneath our feet. Jin jabbered nervously to Risho the whole time, unable to stay still. Gama didn't say a single word. Bakken could not bring himself to answer our questions. I lost control of my aura, freezing over everything in a globe around me, including _my_ master, Korrion. She did not take that too kindly, either… She had quite a temper for an ice demon!"

I felt much better after hearing that I was not the only one to have made such a mistake. Nodding, I stood still, waiting for him to say something else.

"Okay, Touya? Now, for starters, we need to learn how to manipulate that aura. The first step in mastery is control. _You_ are the only one who can harness that energy within you, and don't let anyone else say otherwise."

"But, back in the ice lands. The elder had placed his hand on my chest, and all of the sudden I had frozen a lot of things… If I'm the only one who can use my aura, then why could he make me use it?" I asked.

"Because you _did_ use it. It was you freezing the room; therefore it was you harnessing your own energy. _He_ didn't; you did," he explained.

"If someone can just force me into expending my aura, then what's the point?"

"A reasonable question," he admitted. "The technique is not without its flaw." Noticing the question on my tongue, he moved to reply. "But once again, the answer is not any vaguer than the last one. I trust that you already know it."

I stood there for a second, puzzled, before thinking back on the incident.

_His energy flowed into my body, and I flinched, trying to pull away. The one behind me held me still, though, and I couldn't get away. All of the sudden, my ki flared into being; the man had forced me to use my energy. Ice flowed over the ground, spreading up the wall. The eyebrows practically shot off of his head. I, too, was stunned. It felt awful to have someone use my energy without my permission. I tried to make it stop, but I had about as much success with that as I had had with tapping into my energy in the first place._

_He withdrew his energy, halting mine as well. I was easily tired from using any aura at all, and this tiny usage made me sleepy. _

One moment rang out in my mind. _His energy flowed into my body._ That was it, I was sure. _His energy flowed into my body._ I thought for a second; that was the important part in the lesson, I was sure, but why? Why?

Then it struck me, and, as he had promised, the answer seemed glaringly obvious.

"First off, allow me to assume that you have to be able to touch me in order to perform this," I started. Tariel nodded, content to let me puzzle it out on my own. "Then, the major drawback would be that you have to be in hand-to-hand, which, assuming you were in combat, would be large enough a flaw as is. If the opponent is punching at you or swinging a sword, not only would the concentration be difficult, but sustained contact without injury would be next to impossible, and certainly not worth the risk. But as you already proved in restraining my aura back in the clearing, contact is not necessary, is it?"

He smiled at that, and I felt myself glow with pride, glad that I had figured out at least that much.

"So, contact can't be the biggest problem because I highly doubt that you're the only one who could do such a thing. So, next, let me assume that it would be a great toll on the user's energy. Then, draining your opponent of theirs would not be so grand a talent, especially since you, too, would be affected. Hardly what you'd want in the middle of a fight, right, Master Tariel? Another foe could come along and finish you off. But again, you proved that wrong, as well. In the clearing, you actually gained in energy, using my own to power yours. If it were easy enough for you to just snatch up mine, though, everyone would use it. So there _has_ to be something else to the technique."

The ice master's grin widened.

"I can see only two more feasible options: one, it takes a mental battle of wills, or two, it requires an elemental affiliation. Assume it were the former, then. When the elder first used the move on me, I had volunteered to it, so I wasn't struggling back. He would have been met with no mental resistance. And the second time, with you, I had been trying to stop the ice, as well as being a bit too weak to resist. I can't prove that wrong, then. Now assume the latter. Both you and the elder were ice demons, so neither of you would have any problems with my own element. I can't prove that one wrong, either. So…either we both must share the element, or we have to fight to determine who gains control. Personally, the fight seems the more plausible of the two, but either works," I finished.

"You really are bright for your age," Tariel said. "And you're right. It takes a battle of wills, and the loser is at a sore disadvantage. Trust me. Sharing an element only makes it a bit easier on the attacker, although the defender does also gain a slight advantage, as well. Way to go."

A crooked smile found its way onto my face, and I was glad for the praise.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"You're the one who came up with the whole thing, not me. I just got you started," he reminded.

"So, um, what's our first lesson for ice manipulation?" I couldn't help but ask.

"You just had it," he said.

I blinked, before realizing the truth. A verbal lesson was just as important as a physical one. That was good; I had always hoped that someone other than me had believed that. Surely Shishi had not.

"What am I supposed to do today?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"Whatever you choose. As of yet, while we cannot work on your aura, work on disciplining your mind. Create an honor code, Touya. Without honor, we are not ninjas; we are stealthy assassins with an interesting fighting style."

"Ninjas?" I echoed.

"But of course," he replied.

My brow furrowed in confusion.

"I didn't know that."

"It's of no real consequence," he said, waving his hand as if dismissing the whole thing. "Merely a title," he assured, although the look of pride in his sea green eyes was far from indifferent.

I nodded, trying to keep myself from trembling, yet whether it was from eagerness to join these ranks or fear that I wouldn't be good enough, I wasn't sure. Clapping a hand on my shoulder, he left, leaving me to stand in the hall.

"I wonder…" I thought aloud. "Could I really?"

Shrugging, I walked into the kitchen, grabbing myself something to eat. I was hungry, and, despite Tariel's effort to bolster my energy, I was still drained from my ice use in the clearing. Stretching, I called out "I think I'll go for a walk!" I snagged a bit of roasted Kendril bird, eating it quickly, then left.

The trails were nice, and far more beautiful than anything I had seen back home, although I was loathe to admit it. The blood-red sky was gorgeous from here, above even the usual lightening line. Soft, puffy clouds lazily meandered across the crimson canvas, the bright rays of the sun only serving to heighten the wonderment. These trees grew thickly-packed, with brush and even a few thorn-vines every now and then, and if it weren't for a few animal trails (which I suspected had actually been made by the shinobi) it would have made for hard going. Still, the view was grand and, I had to confess, I could use the exercise. I was sorely out of shape, even if I wasn't overweight.

A yelled "Look out!" was all the warning I got before something that was moving rather quickly slammed into my chest, knocking the air out of me. With a loud "Oof!", I hit the ground, aerially tackled by a…a…a…hundred-twenty pound, fast-talking, hyperactive Irish wind manipulator. I stared incredulously at Jin, who was apparently unaffected by his high-speed collision with me. In contrast, I was gasping for breath, and my chest hurt.

"Sorry 'bout that," he cheerfully apologized. I grunted in reply, still trying to catch my breath. He was currently sitting on my chest, and he weighed far more than me.

"What's wron'?" he asked.

"Could you please…get off of me?" I choked out.

"Hm? Oh! Sorry again!"

To my amazement, he floated clear off of me, supported by a cushion of air. I stared in disbelief, while also taking the chance to breathe. He looked down worriedly at me, as though he were afraid that he had crushed my smaller body, perhaps snapped my ribs. I didn't like being looked down at solely because of my stature. I was aware that I was petite for a youkai, even though ice maidens were said to be even shorter. Shishi had once said that I was "slender enough to put an elf to shame" and that I "needed to eat some goddamn food".

"How badly did I hurt yeh?" he asked.

I pulled myself to my feet, my body sore from being thrown to the ground.

"Not much," I wheezed, diaphragm half-crushed. "I'll be fine."

"I didn' mean ta. I was just practicin' flyin' in the woods, 'cause the trees an' stuff bend the wind ta make it a bit harder ta control, an' the turnin's not too great, either, an' then I saw yeh, but I couldn' really turn out o' the way. So, yeah. I'm sorry 'bout that," he explained.

"I was taking a walk. Didn't expect to see you."

"Well, I didn' expect ta see yeh either! But I always say that yeh should take life as it comes an' ta whistle even when thin's aren' good. So, I'm glad ta meet yeh out here!"

"Listen, about yesterday…" I then paused, realizing that I could have been asleep for days. "It was yesterday, right? With the council?"

"Yesterday? Nah, it was the day a'fore. Yeh were out like a match in the middle o' a storm. Couldn' wake yeh no matter what. Mister Tariel had ta carry yeh back ta his house. Yeh don' weight very much, though, so it's okay!" he declared.

"Yes…about the day before yesterday… Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you. You hadn't done anything wrong," I told him.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, that. I don' mind. Everyone's always tellin' me not ta get so close ta them or ta just leave them alone. I'm used ta it."

For some reason, his words of reassurance made me feel even worse. It was probably the fact that he had been shoved away by so many others, as he had said. I had always had a soft spot in my heart for bully victims. Not too illogical, seeing as I had spent the better part of my life living as one.

"I'm really sorry. Like I said, I'm just a little homesick. I mean, it's beautiful out here, don't get me wrong, but it's not really right. My friend, my guardian, my house…everything I know is there. I just can't bring myself to abandon it all," I confessed. I had already vowed to myself no to just go on and become 'best friends' with this demon, nor any of the other three, at least not until I was assured that I couldn't go back. Shishi was my only friend, I stubbornly insisted, and no matter how nice this Jin character was, he still couldn't replace that arrogant half-vampire. I could almost hear his words now…

_Come on, Blue! No need to apologize over everything!_

I knew that that's what he'd say. Guaranteed. For some reason, the lavender-eyed apparition had always found my shy and hesitant attitude to be rather annoying. I didn't understand why. After all, I wasn't annoyed by his unerring determination and his blunt look on everything. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him…

By now, I hoped that Tal had found my note. I had left it in my money drawer, instructing him to give it all to Shishi. It was the least I could do for him.

"Touya?" Jin asked. "Yeh just stopped talkin'."

"It's nothing…" I replied.

"Well, if yeh say so."

If I had any clue which direction my hometown was, I could've stood there, staring off into the distance, and tried to look dramatic or at least convince Jin that it would be better if he left me alone. I had no clue where it was, though. Despite the immense view, I couldn't see far enough. I bet that even in infravision I couldn't find it, although I might have been able to pick up the heat signature from somewhere like Gandara. That is, if we hadn't moved in the exact opposite direction of it from my hometown. I sighed, wondering why Fate seemed so determined to shake me.

"I have to get back to my trail," I told him.

"Could I come with yeh?" he asked.

"I set a slow pace, Jin. I'm not used to the road. It would be better if you stuck to your flying."

"Yeah, I guess so. See yeh later?"

"I guess."

He nodded eagerly, before zipping away, leaving rustling leaves and stirred-up pine needles in his wake. After a second or two, that too was gone, and he had truly left. Shrugging, I continued down my path, though this time I was caught more in my thoughts than I was by the scenery. As I walked down the trail, I couldn't help but think of my chance encounter with this Jin character.

* * *

Woot! Yeah... So, Touya's a smart cookie. Yup. Now...stop kerfuffling (even though that isn't a word!) around, SwisArmyRomance! C'mon...you know you want to review... 


	14. Messing With My Head

Hi. I've been frequently pushed away from the computer recently, so typing's been hard to do. A pity, since I so love typing... Yeah. This chapter, I must admit, is more than a bit weird, but, who am I to judge for you? Go on, dear reader, and find out for yourself!

* * *

I stared at my ceiling, simply thinking. In all actuality, I was daydreaming, and my usually bright eyes were glazed over. That didn't really matter, though. I liked thinking. The focus of my thoughts was the legendary bandit, the famed Yoko Kurama. He was the topic of many a story, and was well known for his skill, cunning, and, supposedly, his ethereal beauty. Luxurious silver-white hair that was even longer than mine, intelligent golden eyes, smooth, pale skin, and perfect features…that, and his soft silver fox's ears and fox tail gave him a look not wholly of this world. Even among youkai, indeed, even among yôkos, he was an oddity. I had never met him, nor had I even seen a yôko, so I wouldn't know. After all, I had never left my town before now, and the famed yôko thief was far too good to come to our village. We didn't have the sort of riches that drew him and his equally infamous partner-in-crime, the bat demon Kuronue. It was rumored that even Yomi himself had been in their band of thieves. 

I yawned, rolling over and snuggling deeper into the blankets. The warmth had seemed to seep into my very bones, and all I felt like doing was sleeping or anything that didn't require movement. True, it was horribly lazy of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling…not without getting out of bed, that is, and I didn't intend to do that anytime soon. I was especially susceptible to heat, and, as long as it wasn't too hot, just pleasantly warm, it had an almost tranquilizing effect on me. I yawned again.

The door silently opened, and Tariel padded in, footfalls noiseless. I started, surprised, and tried to make it look like I had been doing something. The fact that my long hair was tousled, I still had a blanket covering most of my body, and the yawn that again crept over my features gave me away, though. Tariel only smiled.

"Hey there, sleepy," he greeted.

I smiled sheepishly, pulling myself out of bed. The warmth beckoned for me, and it took a quick battle of will to keep myself from heading right back. I looked up at him with sleepy eyes, and cocked my head to the side.

A full-out grin spread over his face.

"Let me guess—the warmth?"

"Yeah," I replied. "It always makes me feel so drowsy."

"Me too," he laughed. "I suppose it's a setback for us ice demons. We're incredibly weak in the face of extreme heat, and warmth just lulls us almost to sleep! In that way, I envy fire demons. They can just turn up the heat in the face of the cold, while we can't manipulate our body temperature. Of course, just _try_ seeing a fire demon swim. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I don't think they can, no matter how hard they try. Amusing, isn't it?"

I nodded, although it didn't seem so humorous seeing as I myself couldn't swim. Then again, I was sure that I'd learn sometime. Tariel would teach me. That, and all those other ninja skills I'd need to learn.

I looked at him expectantly, as if he'd explain why he had come in. Was it for a wake-up call or what?  
"We both agree that you need to learn how to control your aura," he started. I nodded. "Well, the best place to start would be with how to activate it, right? But the most _practical_ place to start would be how to deactivate it. You're more at risk for icing over the whole place than you are for not being able to. I can protect you from whatever would hurt you. I _can't_ always be there to stop one of those aura-fits. Okay?"

I mutely nodded, before realizing something.

"Wait, how could I practice turning off my aura if I can't turn it on to begin with?" I asked.

"Well, that technique we talked about earlier works. Unless, of course, it just doesn't feel right to you."

I swallowed. In truth, I didn't like the feel of other's energies one bit. Even that little patch Tariel had put in my aura bothered me. It ground on my mind, like having something indiscernible moving at the edges of my vision and being unable to turn my head. Too weird…

Still, I didn't want to disappoint him. I was here to learn ice powers, and a small bit of discomfort would not get in my way of doing so. I nodded.

"It's fine by me."

"Good. Now, first off, do you think you can figure out how to stop on your own?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"I've tried, but nothing seems to work."

He nodded.

"Well, that was to be expected. Ice mastery doesn't come instantaneously, after all. Plus, it takes a while to learn, even with help. Aura is a tricky thing. Okay, can you sense another's aura yet?"

I stared blankly, unaware that such a thing was even possible.

"I'll take that as a 'no'. Do you want to know what one can get simply by looking at another's aura?"

I nodded eagerly. Aura seemed so interesting to me, even if mine was kind of messed up.

"Well, as of right now, you're ashamed, happy, jealous, nervous, a tiny bit afraid, and slightly sad."

I was stunned. My aura told him all that? I opened and closed my mouth a few times, stunned. How? How?

"What?" I yelped.

"Colors. I can see these colors in your aura. Gold, dark green, dark gray, a bit of black, and tinted through and through with soft gray. And, of course, dark blue," he added. "Happiness, jealousy, nervousness, fearfulness, sorrow, and surprise, in that order. Color tells a lot about you, and I can pluck it from your aura with the same ease that you could pluck a sentence from a page."

I took a step back, frightened. He could literally read my every move and feeling without even _trying_? It was a daunting thought.

"Don't be too startled. It's a simple feeling. I can't read your mind or anything; all I can get is your emotions," he reassured. "After a bit, you can suppress your battle aura. I won't be able to sense you, and I have to 'see' your aura to understand your colors. Does that make sense?"

I nodded, a bit relieved. It was good to know that there was an easy defense against it. I'd be fine.

"So…about taming my aura. How?" I asked.

"Feel within yourself for a spark of energy. Find it."

I blinked in confusion but decided to try. After all, who was I to argue with someone like him?

I thought a bit. A spark of energy… I wondered what he meant. I wasn't feeling anything, other than increasingly stupid. Standing there, eyes shut, and not doing anything…I probably looked like a total idiot.

Suddenly realizing that Tariel could see that in my aura, I blushed a deep red, ashamed that I had let myself think that. No, he knew what he was doing. He could control ice, and this was how he did it. Therefore, if I wanted to do so as well, then this was how I would. Yes, that was it. But then, why wasn't anything working out? Where was this "spark" of energy? I couldn't feel it.

That painfully realistic dream from the night before came to mind. What if I couldn't find it because I wasn't a real ice manipulator? I was starting to get nervous, doubting myself. I couldn't go home a failure! No! But…if it was because I wasn't who I thought I was… I was panicking.

Tariel laid a hand on my shoulder.

"You can do it, Touya," he said.

I nodded slowly, still ill at ease.

"C-can we do this some other time?" I asked, nervously fidgeting.

He looked at me, and then shook his head.

"Don't let nerves get to you. Work through it."

He did nothing to dispel my tension. For some reason, it clicked in my mind that I wanted to get out of here _right now_. My eyes darted around fearfully, trying to find an easy way out. There was only the door and the window, though. Tariel was standing in front of the door, and something told me that he wouldn't want me to leave and would stop me if I tried. The window, although large enough to fit my body, was also unable to be opened and had thick glass in it. Trying to smash through there would be foolish and stupid. Still, I was restless. I didn't like this situation!

I did the only thing I could think of: stand there, nervous. I didn't like it, but there was no other option available, other than go hide under the bed. And I was claustrophobic too. With a mental shrug, I waited, hoping that Tariel would help me out here. Once again, I wished that Shishi was here. The half-bird demon, although he didn't always know the right thing to say, always knew _a_ thing to say, and that was usually sufficient enough for me. He could always make me feel better.

I relaxed at the thought of Shishi, although at the same time I was terribly sad that he was gone. Instinctively, I grasped his fang in my hand, the smooth, hard object serving to further calm me down. Strangely enough, though, I could see him in my mind's eye, as if he was right there, so close I could touch. Of course, I wasn't for a second stupid enough to believe that that really was him, but the image was still rather sharp. In fact…it seemed a bit _too_ clear. Even down to that bright, attentive look to his lavender eyes, even when he was sleepy or bored.

It was then that I noticed that something-in-the-corner-of-my-vision, itching, irritating feeling that accompanied Tariel's aura poking and prodding around in my ki. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that he was tampering with my thoughts using his energy. That would explain the unusually clear image of Shishi and the almost tranquilizing effect thoughts of him induced.

"Stop that," I ordered, tracing the fangs symbol in the air with my forefinger.

He blinked in confusion.

"Stop what?"

"Stop tampering with my mind!" I yelled. Earlier, I had been worried, but now I was flat-out mad. My thoughts were mine and mine alone, and he had no right to be messing around with them. I still clutched the vampire fang, although it was no longer for comfort. Rather, I gripped it with the determination that an elemental warrior gripped his rune, the special item that increased the power of aura attacks tenfold.

"I'm not," he calmly replied.

"I can feel it, so stop lying! I can feel this little tingling sensation gnawing at the corners of my mind. It's making my thoughts all weird! Do you think this is funny, hm? Do you think that toying with my mind is funny? Well, I want you to stop it!"

I was visibly affected now. My glacial blue eyes were narrowed almost to slits, my hands were clenched into fists, and I trembled slightly. Self-control was all that was keeping me from making the irrational decision of attacking him, and that was wearing far too thin!

"You're quite talented, Touya," he said, and I could feel his energy pull away. "To be able to sense a spell (1) such as that is amazing. In fact, you shouldn't even notice anything different."

"So, basically, you're using your aura to mess with my mind, and you did that with no intention of telling me?" I demanded.

"Pretty much," he agreed, not even denying it.

"Why?" I insisted.

"You were far too afraid. Your aura was a mess of dark gray and black and I could tell you needed to calm down. I thought you'd reject anything I said outright, so I tried working through your subconscious. The image of that blue-haired boy kept popping up wherever I looked, so he seemed to be a safe bet. I merely brought his image to your conscious level and made it clear enough for you to see. It worked, didn't it?" he explained.

"That still doesn't give you any reason to tamper with my mind," I repeated, although I had lost a good deal of pent-up anger.

He said nothing, merely shrugging.

"But how did you do that?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"What do you mean?"

"You're an ice demon. I didn't know you could do something like that too."

"Ah. Well, there are certain things that almost any demon that has training with his or her aura can do. Basic spells, you know?" he said.

"How? What else? If I have my battle aura suppressed, can you still?"

"I feel for your aura and let out a tiny pulse of energy, barely detectable. Once I've infused your aura with the littlest bit of mine, I'm directly connected to your base feelings. That isn't enough, though. I have to know enough about you to call up something in particular. I picked the name 'Shishi', which I assumed belonged to that boy, and chose the fang you wear around your neck and the blue feather I found tied in the strings of the bag Cotalyn gave me as the foci for the spell. Once I had a connection, a vague memory and the mental image of personal items that I believed linked me to it, I could begin. It gave me a fuzzy image of what I was trying to call to mind. From there, I allowed you to perfect it on your own. All I did was call up the image. It is truly a basic technique and not a particularly practical one, either. As for aura suppression, if yours was then I couldn't make the original bond that is necessary," he clarified.

"As for others, there are more than I can even touch on. I know there's a book on them in your bookshelf."

I nodded. After his intriguing explanation, I was no longer angry. Now, I had a burning desire to learn more about all the things that I could do with my aura. That is, if I ever learned how to use it.

Tariel didn't even need to prompt me to get me to concentrate, to focus on finding that speck of energy. I thought in on myself, searching, searching. There was nothing. Nothing but the black emptiness of the backs of my eyelids and the faint red glow of where the light was bright enough to faintly glow through them. Bereft of my sight, I could focus better on my other senses. There were three rapid chirps in a row coming from outside the window, and I could hear the steady sound of my own breathing. I could smell that basil scent that hung around Tariel and, probably, me, as well as the scent of cold. Shishi and Tal had both looked at me like I was crazy when I had said that cold had its own scent, but it was there. Cold was a scent, to an ice youkai, at least, if it was strong enough. I was sure that heat was a scent to a fire youkai, too, but I couldn't smell that. It wasn't me, I guessed.

I blocked it out, trying to ignore it all. No rustling of leaves outside…no coppery tang of dried blood…no feeling of soft carpet under my feet… Nothing. There was nothing… I tried hard to feel it, to feel that aura-spark he spoke of, but there was still nothing. Nothing! Was that all that my efforts so far had amounted to?

I tried to stop thinking. Dropping all these self-doubts and daydreams and memories might just be what I needed to do. It was challenging. No thought at all…I couldn't help but think things such as _I did it! No thought!_ and _Come on…_ Then…

Flash! There was something there!

The second I thought that it disappeared, but I was sure that it had been there. I hadn't imagined it. Lime-green, glowing, and radiating a feeling of pure, absolute _me_, it was there.

I tried again, and again and again after that, until it finally came again into my mental vision. There…

I focused on it, trying to bring it into a clearer 'picture'. To my surprise, instead of vanishing upon thought-contact the image sharpened. It wasn't a spark, as Tariel had described it. No, to me, it seemed to be a glimmer of light, like a flickering ray of firelight reflecting off of a cat's eyes…or, as Shishi had once said, my own eyes at night. Transfixed, I reached out my mind and touched it.

There was a bright flash of white exploding in my mind, sending me reeling, and then a jolt swept through me, almost electric.

Then my eyes rolled back into my head and I passed out.

* * *

There was white all around me. Swirling, white mists. I assumed it was another dream, but the aching in my muscles told me otherwise. 

"Where am I?" I asked aloud.

_Wherever you want to be,_ an echoing voice replied. I couldn't hear it, though; it was all in my mind.

"Wherever I…want to be?"

_You got it._

"Okay, then. I wish I was in my old house."

The mists dissipated, and I found myself standing in the middle of my room. It was perfect, down to the last detail. My vision was a tad bit fuzzy, but I assumed that was just an aftereffect of that weird light…

"What else can I do?" I asked.

To my surprise, Tal opened the door, stepping in.

"Touya? What are you doing up this late?" he wondered.

"Oh…just thinking. I had the most amazing dream, Tal! I can't wait to tell Shishi!"

The bat demon's body collapsed in upon itself, like a ball of putty, and rearranged itself to appear as Shishi's.

"Really? What do you have to tell me?" he asked.

I yelped in surprise.

"Okay, I'm definitely asleep. That doesn't happen in real life."

_Actually, you're quite awake._

"Then what's going on?" I demanded, hoping that voice would answer.

"You're in your mind, Blue," Shishi said matter-of-factly. "I always did say you thought too much."

"How do you know this? What's going on?"

"I know this because I'm a memory, Blue. I'm a figment of your imagination. I'm not here. This room isn't here. Technically, the only thing that is here is your consciousness," he explained, casually leaning up against the wall.

I blinked.

"But… Then how did I get here?" I asked.

"You pushed your mind too far into your subconscious and, consequentially, managed to get yourself trapped here."

That was how I knew for sure that this was all in my mind. Shishi couldn't even read! He certainly didn't know words such as "consequentially" and "subconscious", and if he did he never used them in conversation.

"So…subconscious me, is it? What can I do here?"

To my horror, the 'Shishi' mutated into a mirror image of myself. Too creepy!  
"Shishi! Shishi!" I yelled, watching it change back. I sighed with relief. My own thoughts dictated this. This was my mind…

* * *

I snapped awake suddenly, bolting upright. I was panting for breath, heart racing. 

"Touya! I'm sorry I didn't warn you about that! Maybe it would be better to give you a break," Tariel conceded, hand on my shoulder. "I woke you up using aura."

"That was so weird… It was me, and Shishi, and everything I spoke or thought of… I…I want to go back sometime."

He started, before slowly nodding.

"I'm sure you would. Until we get somewhere like that, though, _don't try and travel there_. I can't stress that enough. You're in very real danger there, if you only think it. Okay? Don't try."

I nodded.

"Now, why don't you take the day off from aura? I think you learned enough as is."

I nodded again, and stepped over to my bookshelf. There was a book on aura techniques that I just had to read…

* * *

Yeah... Uh-huh, that was it. Thanks to ylib for the whole mental plane ideas. I had a sort of sketchy image, but nothing like the amazing way they described one in their story Blood and Water. If you like Mitarai, seriousness, and random humor, go check it out! Anywho, just tell me what you think. Reviews don't bite, after all. 

(1) I usually don't do these things, but I think I have to elaborate. I don't mean a wizard-casting-fireball kind of spell, nor do I mean a whole Paladine-smite-my-foes sort of spell. I think that doing just about anything with the aura, despite being an innate ability, would be considered a 'spell', loosely speaking, of course. To them, it's no magic, but hey, it is to us. That's where our version of the word 'spell' and theirs differs. I'm sure most of you think of magic with it. Now, to the demons that have such a close thing, their aura, they don't see it as 'casting a spell' but rather as 'using an aura-spell' or such. Got it?


	15. Why Not To Bathe In Public

Yup. I _am_ alive. Woot! Uh, yeah, now just read this happy little chapter and review, okay?

* * *

I had that dream again. There was fire around me on all sides, burning, hurting. I couldn't escape any more than I could last time. So when I woke up covered in a (characteristic for ice demons) cold sweat, I could only find myself missing Shishi all the more. There was no arrogant comment about how _he_ would've handled it, and there were no blunt words of concern that oftentimes didn't help as much as their speaker had intended. 

It was at that moment that I firmly resolved to set Shishi out of my mind. Reminiscing about the past, no matter how recent, was not going to get me anywhere. I had to, as Jin said, take life as it comes. Granted, I would always think ahead and think back and try and prepare for everything in advance, so I supposed that I wasn't really 'taking life as it comes' per se, but it was the thought that counted, right? Actually…no, because if it was the thought that counted, then wouldn't I have been ahead instead of those muscle-bound bullies?

Shaking my head, I couldn't help but smile at myself, a gesture that I had definitely picked up from Shishi, since I cannot recall ever having smiled at my own mess-ups before meeting him. Once again, thinking over expressions and other such things got me all caught up and more confused than a parrot demon in a house of mirrors. I was actually in quite a good mood for just having woken up from a nasty nightmare; in fact, I felt unusually cheerful _period_. Well, I suppose it was just one of those days.

I got out of bed, actually noticing the cold, for once. Realizing that I was soaked with sweat, I decided that it would be a good idea to take a quick bath or something before going to talk with Tariel about meeting Jin. I had resolved to put my past behind me, and what better way to start than making a new friend? Pulling a change of clothes out of the trunk at the foot of my bed and grabbing a towel from the bathroom, I headed towards the cold river running just outside of the house.

I was a bit too sleepy still, and, I'll admit, still shaken up from that dream. Without thinking my usual "Enma, I hope someone isn't watching me right now because that would be _really_ awkward" thought that I had whenever I was going to strip while outside, I undressed and stepped into the water.

The chill bite of ice-cold water sunk into me. Instead of locking all my muscles into frozen rigidity and leaving me shivering and covered in goose bumps, it actually left me with the same sort of calm that I got while lying on my back and just staring at the sky during a particularly nice day. The cold seeped into my very being, leaving me with a goofy grin that probably made me look like I was drunk. It was soothing to have my element, or as close to it as I was likely going to get, right at hand. I liked it…

I suppose I must have half-drifted off, since I wasn't really paying attention to much of anything and my vision seemed to blur, as if all these sights were wet paint on a canvas and the artist was mixing them all together with his fingers…

"Hey there, ice prince!" Jin's voice chirped.

It was then that I found out that it was impossible to literally jump out of your skin, since, if it was, I would have found myself skinless right then. Here I was, standing stark naked, other than Shishi's fang, which I had stubbornly refused to remove, in the middle of a river (thank Enma the water came up almost to my neck!), and Jin shows up. I think I just about blushed full-body right then. My face felt hot, my neck felt hot, heck, even my upper arms felt hot. I must've been red as a tomato.

"Jin!" I exclaimed, although my voice cracked and it ended up as a rather interesting squeak instead of my usual soft, relatively deep tones.

"Yay! Yeh remembered my name!"

Not trusting my voice, I nodded, ducking just a little bit lower in the water, so that the only part of me that he could see was my head. I profusely thanked the current and rocks in the water that caused it to foam a bit at the top.

"So, what's up with yeh?" he asked, floating again on his cushion of air.

I half choked. Couldn't he tell how uncomfortable I was right now? Well, uncomfortable with his presence, since I had always been rather modest. The chilling water still had that sort of overall relaxing feeling practically dripping off of it, so while I was blushing furiously and stammering, I wasn't physically tense at all. Too strange, but I supposed that I'd have to get used to situations like that… Well, actually, I hoped that I wouldn't at all. This had _better_ be a one time thing!  
"What's wron'?"

"I'm, uh, kind of…" I tried, stumbling over my words. Blushing all the more, I gestured towards my clothes.

He stared at me, then looked at the clothes, then back at me. All of the sudden, it seemed to click, and his eyes widened for a second before a gap-toothed grin spread over his face.

"Oh! Yeh're completely naked, aren' yeh?" he declared in the same tone that I would use when I had just discovered a particularly hard-to-find fact about one of the minor demon lords.

"_Yes_," I ground out, my teeth gritted. At this point, I was firmly convinced that the sky above me was less red than I was.

He looked pretty pleased with himself. Worst of all, though, he didn't move. Nope, he just sat right there as if it were perfectly acceptable to converse with a naked boy that he barely knew.

"W-Well, why are you here?" I asked after a bit, realizing that this situation probably wasn't going to get any better any time soon.

"Y'know, I felt kind o' bad for just runnin' yeh over like that. So, I just came over here ta apologize an' ta say 'hi' an' talk with yeh."

I made a noise that may have originally been an "uh-huh" but had somehow turned to more of a squeak. Go figure. I was feeling particularly uncomfortable right now, and I could only hope that he'd take the hint and leave.

"What's wron'?" he repeated, staring at me worriedly. "Yeh don' look so good."

Again I nodded towards my clothes, trying not to snap at him.

"Yeah. An'?"

I blinked in confusion. He didn't see any problem with this! Freak!  
"Um…this isn't, you know, exactly…well, not really _right_ and…I'm kind of… not comfortable…um, clothes back…uh…"

He stared.

"Well then, why don' yeh just get them back on?"

"There are two problems with that: one, I'd have to climb _out_ of the river to get to them, and two, you're watching," I murmured.

"Okey-dokey. I'll just turn my back on yeh, 'kay?"

I spluttered. What? That was _not_ okay! No! But I wasn't about to tell him that I was so shy that I didn't even like having a friend waiting _in the other room_ while I had my shirt off. Besides, I was sure that he already thought that I was a complete weakling already after my whole lack of control on my energy earlier, coupled with fainting… Oh, but I didn't want to get dressed with him here either! I almost rubbed my temples with annoyance, but stopped myself when I realized that Jin was still waiting for an answer. So…here I was. Either I stayed put, didn't make this already awkward situation any worse, and made him think that I was a wimp, or I told him to turn around so that I could get clothes on and feel more nervous than the time that I recited a poem I had written in front of Shishi and his parents. Now, I really did know what that saying "damned if I do, damned if I don't" meant. I think learning these sayings firsthand is an experience that should be avoided like the Crescent Moon Forest. Well, there we go, yet another saying. I made a mental note right then and there to never go near the Crescent Moon Forest, if for no other reason than to avoid finding out the reasoning behind that saying.

I swallowed, realizing that Shishi would've, for sure, had the bravery to get out of the water and get dressed. Of course, I was no Shishi, and I didn't have the same daring that he did. I was unsure…

Finally, I nodded.

"Just don't look until I tell you to, okay?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, sure, no problem, boyo!" he exclaimed, making a 180 degree turn in midair.

For about a minute, I just stood there, breathing deeply and trying to convince myself to carry through with it.

_You can't turn back now, Touya_, I told myself. _It isn't that bad, no on will see you. Jin isn't looking. He can't see anything. He's not looking and you can't go back, so just get out of the water! Come on, Touya, get out of the water. It isn't a problem… Yes, that's it, now just pull yourself onto the bank… No! Don't be such a coward, Touya! Just get out and get dressed. Then you won't be naked and this won't be so awkward. That's right. Just get out of the water…_

I think I made some kind of record for drying myself off and getting clothed. Never before could I think of a time that I had pulled my clothes on so quickly, nor could I think of a time that I was redder. After taking a second or two to steady my breathing and calm my racing heart, I gave Jin the okay on turning around.

He grinned that fanged, gap-toothed grin at me again, as if me embarrassed with dripping wet hair was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Logically, there was a small chance that this really _was_ the funniest thing that he had ever seen, but I didn't think so. It wasn't _that_ funny, was it? Oh, Enma, what if it was?

"I hope you're happy," I declared, sulking.

"Well, 'course I am! I'm always happy!"

I sighed deeply, again lamenting the fact that Shishi was not here. Granted, the half bird demon would have probably fallen to the ground, shaking with laughter, but at least he wouldn't be that dense!

"What? Was it somethin' I said? There I go again! I always seem ta be makin' people feel bad!" he said, touching down on the ground next to me.

"No, it wasn't," I assured.

"Well, somethin's wron', an' I want ta know what it is," he declared.

"I'm sure that you'd be embarra-" I started, cutting off. I _wasn't_ sure that he would have been uncomfortable at all if our roles had been reversed. I shook my head, abruptly switching the gist of my sentence. "I'm sure that you'd be embarrassed if you, uh, couldn't… properly respond to a greeting?" I tried.

"Aw, really? An' here I thought that it was buggin' yeh that I just kind o' walked in on yeh," he remarked.

"Well, uh, yes, that was it… I was just trying to… Oh, never mind! Yes, that was it."

"Ah. Sorry 'bout that. Yeh know me. No common sense whatsoever, right?" he said with a grin. "An' I've always been wonderin': Why do they call it common sense if it's not really that common? I mean, shouldn' it be _un_common sense, then?"

I smiled slightly at that. He did have a point there…

"Well, so, yeah. That's how thin's seemed ta me. What about yeh?"

"I don't really know. A lot of expressions seem strange. And living the meaning of some isn't particularly pleasant," I added, my gaze falling back to my feet.

"What do yeh mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing," I replied, dodging out on his question. I wasn't one for explaining myself to others, and even though I spoke my heart I didn't like telling what I meant if my audience didn't understand.

"Why do yeh keep doin' that? Yeh get all heartfelt in yer words, then yeh tell me that it was nothin'! I know that yeh're meanin' somethin', otherwise yeh wouldn' have said it! Yeh told me before that yeh didn' like talkin' very much, so I'm pretty sure that everythin' yeh do say is important. So, yeah," he huffed.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" I murmured. "I'm not one for repeating myself much."

"But I didn' ask yeh ta repeat yerself, I just asked yeh ta explain what yeh meant."

I stared at him for a second, before shaking my head.

"Same difference. One is merely saying the original statement again while the other restates the original statement in easier to understand words. Both are repeating."

He grinned again.

"Yeh have a weird sort o' way with talkin', yeh know that?" he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I actually made sustained eye contact with him at that point, too curious to remain staring at my feet.

"Well…I dunno. Yeh just _do_."

I shook my head. That didn't mean anything to me! Then again, I knew quite well that feelings could not always be expressed in words, although Enma knows, Shishi was always trying to.

"There you go again, idiot!" I muttered. "Didn't you decide to put him out of your mind?"

"Huh? Put who out o' my mind?" Jin asked, responding without hesitation to the name "Idiot".

"Hm? Oh, not you!" I assured. "I was talking about myself."

"Yeh talk ta yerself?"

"Not usually, no," I replied. "Why did you answer so quickly to 'Idiot'?"

"Aw, yeh know, I've had the name enough."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

It sounded lame even to my ears.

"Don' be. Yeh didn' do anythin' wron'. As yeh said, yeh weren' even talkin' about me!"

Shyly, I smiled at that. His eyes wandered down from my face to my neck, though, and I was beginning to wonder just what he was staring at.

"Wow, that's a great big tooth! Where'd yeh get that?" he asked.

"Oh… It was my friend's. He was half vampire, so it is fairly big, I guess."

"Half vampire? But aren' vampires just supposed to be chimera tale creatures?"

"Well…no, not really. He's got the fangs and the blood obsession to prove it," I responded, although my hand drifted of its own accord to the scar on the side of my neck. Although he hadn't proven himself to be particularly witty, Jin was sharp enough to follow the movement, and I was pretty sure that he had seen the twin dots, like misplaced white freckles, on my neck.

"He bit you?" the redhead gasped.

"No!" I snapped, suddenly on the defensive.

"I mean, I just thought… yeh know, yeh've got that scar on yeh, an' yeh seemed so fixed on the topic, an'…"

"He didn't! Shishi _did not _bite me!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh!"

I was scowling at him, bristling with annoyance. _I_ didn't tell him it was okay to ask that. _I_ didn't want to talk about my friend going psycho and attacking me. And _I_ didn't jump to conclusions where other's friends are concerned!

"You've apologized now, so you can leave."

"Damn it, yeh don' have ta be such a little piss-ant! All I did was ask a question!"

I forced myself to calm down, reminding myself that these fights only ended up with me passed out from lack of aura. No, I didn't need to yell at him. He hadn't done anything wrong. I just needed to calm down, to relax. The tantalizing closeness of the ice-cold river was unnerving me, and I kept seeing myself, in my mind's eye, jumping into the water. No…

With the shreds of my composure that I had managed to regain, I took a deep breath and said "I'm sorry. I…didn't mean to yell at you."

"Then why the hell did yeh?" he demanded.

"I was just a little touchy. Sorry about that."

"Yeah, well, at least yeh didn' whack me upside the head," he offered.

"I'm not one for violence. I think the last time I ever got in a fight with someone was when I was around…oh, twenty-ish, tops?"

"Yeh don' like ta fight?" he asked, a sad note in his voice.

"Well, no. Is there a problem with that?"

"I love a good fight, an' I just figured, yeh know, since I'm goin' ta be friends with yeh, then I could get a good brawl in every now an' then, yeh know?"

_Shishi would've gotten along better with him than I do,_ I thought.

"No, not really. I'm a thinker, a dreamer. No fighting for me, eh?" I tried, feigning a cheeriness I certainly wasn't feeling.

"Yeh don' have ta lie."

I cocked my head to the side, stunned that he had managed to pick that out. Was it so obvious?

"Yeh clearly aren' happy, so why pretend ta be? I mean, it just isn' yer thin'. Don' try so hard to do somethin' that yeh can'."

"I guess not," I agreed, docilely backing down from the challenge that I detected in those words.

"Humph. Don' try indifferent either, 'cause yeh can' really pretend that either. Just be yerself; anythin' else will only seem fake," he spoke. This time, the challenge was much more obvious.

_What in the Makai is he trying?_ I wondered. _Why does he keep doing that?_

"I'm not," I replied, again trying to yield in the issue.

"Good. I mean, yeh really shouldn' try. It's not good for someone o' yer strength ta try an' lie ta other people. Least o' all, yerself, okay?"

He was outright calling me out. What motivation did he have? What was this? Was he really so eager for a fight that he was trying to goad me into attacking him?

"I am glad that you are concerned with my health. Thank you."

He frowned, probably deciding that I wasn't figuring out what he meant.

"What? Are yeh too weak ta respond ta a challenge? Huh?" he asked.

"I don't want to fight," I repeated, picking up my clothes and turning to walk away from him.

"Good! I'd lick yeh anyway!" he called out.

"Yes, you would," I complacently agreed. "You are my superior."

He frowned at that.

"Why aren' yeh goin' ta object? Aren' yeh supposed ta fight for a higher rankin' than me? I mean, yeh're _voluntarily_ goin' ta be lower on the ladder than I am?"

I turned around, staring him in the eyes.

"Yes, I am. I know right now that I would have no chance at all to beat you, and, besides, I am used to being considered inferior to other demons," I replied. "I always was, and I have no reason to try to improve it."

"Yeh're confusin'," he stated.

"I guess I am," I agreed.

He shook his head, scarlet hair flying every which way.

"I don' think I'm every goin' ta understand yeh."

I smiled at that, actually showing my teeth, for once.

"I don't understand myself," I truthfully replied, walking off. "Bye then."

"Goodbye, ice prince!"

I shook my head, wondering if he'd ever drop that ridiculous title. Hadn't I already told him that I was nothing but a peasant boy? Even my confusion and the fact that I had just readily admitted my lower standing than him, though, could do nothing to chase the lingering smile from my face.

* * *

Be very, very glad I did not keep my original version of this chapter. The end was scary... I mean like, "I actually wrote this?" scary. Like...like... Ah, you get the picture! So, yeah. Just click that little purple button and tell me what you think. I like reviews, I really, really do! 


End file.
